Chicken Farts

[Duck_life]

My Danes sleep in the living room. Those are big dogs with big farts.... I dont think theres enough air, even with the window open, to keep me alive through the night if they slept in the room with me and hubby and baby

Lol how old is your baby? Just curious, does baby gag if it stinks?

 

[jeepgirl13]

Omg I just remembered this.

A while back hubby was talking on the phone with his brother. Brother asks hubby, "has she farted in front of you? It's no official till she farts confront of you." Hubby goes "no, she NEVER farts. She hasn't farted in front of me yet, I'm not even sure she does."

Meanwhile I'm off to the side just snickering away, and just blurt out, "i fart in front of you all the time! They're just princess farts, so you dont hear them and only get the faintest whiff of roses and sparkles"

I heard his brother laughing on the phone across the room.

 

[jeepgirl13]

Lol how old is your baby? Just curious, does baby gag if it stinks?

Hes five months. And no, the stinky-er the funnier to him. I'll ask him if he pooped and hell grin ear to ear and bust up laughing.

 

[Duck_life]

Hes five months. And no, the stinky-er the funnier to him. I'll ask him if he pooped and hell grin ear to ear and bust up laughing.

gotta love babies!

 

[jeepgirl13]

He even laughs when dad farts.... not sure what this means for the future, but I think I might be in trouble....

 

[jeepgirl13]

gotta love babies!

He is a character, that's for sure. Hold on I'll find this picture that clearly sums up his personality.

 

[jeepgirl13]

Ok, more than one pic, but ya know, babies and farts.... cant get enough...

No wait, that's not right... its fart JOKES you cant get enough of.

 

[Chickassan]

Oh, I smell your pain.
Hubs used to eat these Tijuana Mama hot sausages and later the smell would gag me.
I have a STRONG stomach, worked with cancer patients a lot and these sausage farts trumped cancer poop many times over.
The sausages are now forbidden.
I'm filing for divorce the second one touches that man's lips.
He did it in the car, rolled up the windows and turned on the heat.
He lived with his mom for a couple weeks after as I told him to leave before I made an abused husband of him.
Nightmare fuel right there.

Theres been tines I thought I was going to die like a canary in a coal mine. Walking into the roo. After hubby's been in bed a few hours and the whole room smells like stale farts.

Or when you wake up cuz you're uncomfortable, or so you think, and when you roll, the blanket moves and wafts the fermented fart out from under the covers and straight up your nose.... I've woken hubby up gagging that way. It was bad while I was preggo.

 

[Chickassan]

Ha! Opened the coop with a very perky "g'day chickens" followed by one of my greatest armpit masterpieces.
Freshly shaved armpits and lotioned hand made for a sound lovely enough to make the pope weep.
My thanks? Half chaos and half...looks of chickens that were over it before I even performed my beautiful song.
About 60% act like they don't want to be seen with me.
I call that a success .
Btw....it sounded like a whale with a runny nose, im quite pleased.

 

[Duck_life]

Ok, more than one pic, but ya know, babies and farts.... cant get enough...

No wait, that's not right... its fart JOKES you cant get enough of. View attachment 1911284 View attachment 1911285 View attachment 1911286 View attachment 1911287 View attachment 1911288

He's so adorable.