Chicken Farts

[MotherHen75]

And to make matters even better it was against my forearm so i got the extra effect

 

[Chickassan]

You my freind and lol I just noticed neighbor just made me 5 bucks.
This has been a bet here between my neighbor and myself for the better part of the day.
He said it probably sounded like a conch shell gone horribly wrong.
And I being experienced with this little used vocalization said punch ball filled with pudding and much too much air.
I won, in your face guy who's only heard quail farts.
Guess you don't know everything.

oh my gosh, i love this whole thread. It was short and sweet with a small wetness at the end when it died out. Kind of like one of those cartoons when the balloon flies around the room with that semi higher pitched ‘Sqweeeee’ as it eventually dies out with a ‘Plllbb’

 

[blackandtan]

 

[mdquilts]

Can’t wait to tell my husband that not only can he blame the dog but now he can blame the chickens!

 

[jeepgirl13]

Oh, I smell your pain.
Hubs used to eat these Tijuana Mama hot sausages and later the smell would gag me.
I have a STRONG stomach, worked with cancer patients a lot and these sausage farts trumped cancer poop many times over.
The sausages are now forbidden.
I'm filing for divorce the second one touches that man's lips.
He did it in the car, rolled up the windows and turned on the heat.
He lived with his mom for a couple weeks after as I told him to leave before I made an abused husband of him.
Nightmare fuel right there.

Omg!! I woulda jumped out the car!! If it's anything like my hubby after taco bell(we dont eat there ever now, after a few nights of vomit inducing farts), the road rash would have been more enjoyable.

Ha! Opened the coop with a very perky "g'day chickens" followed by one of my greatest armpit masterpieces.
Freshly shaved armpits and lotioned hand made for a sound lovely enough to make the pope weep.
My thanks? Half chaos and half...looks of chickens that were over it before I even performed my beautiful song.
About 60% act like they don't want to be seen with me.
I call that a success .
Btw....it sounded like a whale with a runny nose, im quite pleased.

I can just imagine them saying "who is this undignified heathen!" They probably looked at you like my son does when I go off on an unstoppable dad joke tangent.

NO BEANO! It dilutes the overall effect!

Omg, one time at horse camp....

But no seriously, one time at horse camp for 4h, we were up in the Catalina mountains down by tuscon, AZ and our 4h leader made chili. Well, she thought she was smart and put BEANO IN THE CHILI, didnt tell anyone, and fed it to everyone. Turns out a couple of the girls there had an allergy to the beano and ended up running to the porta potty every 20 minutes. I'll never forget the sound of a bear with a sinus infection being strangled coming from those porta potties. Those poor girls....

 

[Chickassan]

Lol, I might have to make this down under wake up service a career.
I just found a REALLY practical use for it...seriously hear me out.
Got a little 5mth old butthole cockrel that is just intent on serving those girls a french omelette for breakfast.
Well...turns out a little thunda from down unda just kills his little mood deader than a sack of hammers.
I really need to make an article for newbies....for science ya know.

 

[jeepgirl13]

Lol, I might have to make this down under wake up service a career.
I just found a REALLY practical use for it...seriously hear me out.
Got a little 5mth old butthole cockrel that is just intent on serving those girls a french omelette for breakfast.
Well...turns out a little thunda from down unda just kills his little mood deader than a sack of hammers.
I really need to make an article for newbies....for science ya know.

Dont loud farts kill anyone's mood? HOW did no one think of this sooner. You, my friend, are a downright genius!!

Btw... I just seen your avatar in a bigger size cuz I clicked the wrong thing. WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CHICKEN COSTUME?!?!?!

It's like the ones for dogs and I LOVE it and NEED it. I'll take my australorp out for a walk wearing it down in town. Oh the looks I'd get...

 

[jeepgirl13]

Lol, I might have to make this down under wake up service a career.
I just found a REALLY practical use for it...seriously hear me out.
Got a little 5mth old butthole cockrel that is just intent on serving those girls a french omelette for breakfast.
Well...turns out a little thunda from down unda just kills his little mood deader than a sack of hammers.
I really need to make an article for newbies....for science ya know.

You could experiment with different types of farts to see what's most effective. Long, slow drawn out? Short, sharp wet ones? Deep, rumbly, growly ones that sound like they're coming from the depths of hell?

 

[jeepgirl13]

I cant report on my own chicken farts yet. I had a LONG day yesterday with a grumpy baby. Hes teething and got a bit if a cold, I think. I'll be going to do some chicken poofing here in a bit though. Just got to get 3 or 4 more cups of coffee in me and wait for the sun to come up. It's getting chilly here in the mornings!

 

[MROO]

oh my gosh, i love this whole thread. It was short and sweet with a small wetness at the end when it died out. Kind of like one of those cartoons when the balloon flies around the room with that semi higher pitched ‘Sqweeeee’ as it eventually dies out with a ‘Plllbb’