Chicken Police Blotter...Report a "crime"

[carolina chicky]

I was attacked by my broody bantam this morning......so I got this idea from reading the police blotter in our hometown paper. Sometimes they will report unusual or funny things....so I thought why not create a place to report some funny little "crimes" of our own.
((I hope no one thinks this makes fun of real crime...which is obviously not funny....I just thought it was a funny idea))

I will start:
..... An attack took place on Sunday morning, at about 10:30 am...
The suspect was described as being 6 inches tall, white feathers, a beak, and a long black tail.
The suspect violently attacked a female..who was trying to stick her hand inside of the coop to feed her. Reports indicated that the suspect pecked, scratched and yelled chicken profanities at the victim. The victim was rushed in the house to treat a chicken bite and a minor scratch. The victims husband indicated that the suspect was guarding some eggs in her nest when the attack took place.

 

[Tala]

6 inches tall

For some reason this has me rollin!

Ok I'll try to make one up.


A young cockerel was attacked in his home on the morning of April 18, 2010
He gave his name as Hellboy and said that a giant red rooster and two hens attacked him
Wittnesses heard his distressed cry and ran to his aid. The attackers fled the scene.
One of the hens was described as a Buff Orpington, the other was unidentified.
Little Hellboy is in the hospital crate in serious condition, but he is expected to live.
The Buff Orpington hen was taken into custody, but released after questioning.
She was last seen hiding behind the coop. No word on the other suspects.​

 

[LovinMyPeeps]

"This just in... a fowl incident was said to take place at 4:30am last night. Described by locals as a god aweful heinous sound, an unknown suspect was found to be disturbing the peace last night in the local neighborhood. When a resident was interviewed later he was quoted as saying "it sounded like someone was assaulting a whoopie cushion". Another neighbor stated while describing the noise "the *&^%ing thing just wouldn't shut up!" One neighbor was seen installing shutters over the window of an unassuming shed like structure... no further unknown disruptions have been reported."

 

[LilBizzy]

Oh, no.. I believe we have a copycat ( or is is a copychicken?) here .. There was a very similar attack here this morning! Our suspect is about the same size, but wearing a curly grey feather boa. The suspect was wearing a fake beard.
Suspect was tried by a jury of little peers. They determined she was provoked, and felt threatened while protecting her unborn children. She was placed under coop arrest until further notice. Jury got paid a bowl of blueberry yogurt, while the suspect was forced to sit in the coop on eggs.

 

[geepy]

This just in. Neighbors complained of strange noises (Loud peeping). Once the perp was brought into the house the noises quit. (I have a spoiled bitty that peeps loudly till I bring her in).

 

[carolina chicky]

 

[HennyJenny]

At 6:30 p.m. it was reported that two fat feathered girls were in a neighbors yard two acres away from where they were last seen. Once notified of their location, owner retrieved said chooks by calling "Girls come home!". When asked why they crossed the road, the replied "the grass was greener BGAWK BAUK BAUK". After being returned to their own yard, the girls eloped to the same patch of grass in the neighbor's yard an hour later. Husband of owner notified owner of location of missing chooks. Chooks were gathered and incarcerated for the remainder of the evening. They did not resist. They will be released on their own recognizance at 5 p.m. tomorrow.

 

[BoiseBubba]

A hen was reportedly stabbed (with a beak) by a unidentified brown hen and 2 accomplices at 3 pm today. The victim was a small Serama hen, about 4 inches tall and tan. The suspect was a brown hen, unusually tall, 4 and a half inches to be exact, with red wattles and comb. The accomplices were reported to be a 4 inch tall rooster with black and red feathers, and a hen with black feathers. The victim was taken to the hospital with minor injuries and was later released. The rooster was brought into custody for questioning. He was identified as Charlie Bubbleyeson. We have no word yet on weather he had any evidence. He refused to answer press questions.

His trials will be tomorrow in the coop. He will be hiring a lawyer

 

[cwc362]

YOu guys are crazy!!! I love it!!

 

[LilBizzy]

Breaking news:
There has been a rash of small thefts and vandalism in a 3 house area east of town. Residents have lodged complaints that their gardens have been dug up, plants chewed, and landscaping mulch scattered about. One woman, who asked not to be identified said " The little hoodlums also throw eggs- I found one in my front yard".
Another woman said her sandwich was stolen right off her outdoor table. " Whatever it is, they are sneaky. I was texting, and reached out for my sandwich, and it was gone. And no one was around".
A witness did see a gang running from her garden. The witness said they all dressed alike, and were small and viscious looking. Police have released this sketch of the ringleader of the gang: