Christmas discussion!

[IamRainey]

Cultivate all the people who make you feel blessed. In time you'll have a new family you've made. It will make all the difference in the world and what is now a curse will, eventually, become your triumph when you've overcome it.

A New Year and a blank slate are coming!

 

[Woytgirl]

I am going to scrooge. A bit.

I had to cut of my ties with my family this year. Due to a child-abuse situation in my youth that they are STILL not accepting that it happened and STILL say I made it up for attention (the person died 17 years ago). For years I still hang out with them; because everyone wants a family. But it was more like faking.. I wished that I one day had a family when I did my best.. And they kept saying stuff like that, bringing it up themselves, how I made up these stories about this uncle...and everyone wants a family, so I kept it going, trying and hoping they sometimes would accept me as a person. Feelings misserable after, and like a fake. Realising they would never change.
Untill this year. I cut all the ties.

It was so lonely, the first christmas without a family. My parents are seperated so I allways had a full christmas (where I live we have 2 christmas days). Now nothing.

I also have a new partner since this year. We were invited to his familiy's christmas. His family had a troubled year. Or he with his family. His father is really negative about eveything he does. "he is useless". He used to have his mom to be there for him, but she died two years ago due to cancer. Leaving only the negative, because the positive that kept him out of his fathers negativity was gone. He had an burn-out due to have to take care of all the things at a funeral, washing and clothing his mothers body, because his father didn't want to do it. I got the blaime..since we just met a month before and before that he didn''t have a burn-out... so it must be me...Due to his brother and wife. They also asked him to dump me, and send me a message that I need to get away from him =/ His sister has a big problem with her father too. They have an aunt that I bonded with immediately. Such a good, friendly, nice, open, caring woman. The sister had her first baby without her mother and she was there for her, all through labour, her father, meh, negative, didn't even look at the baby. (he is not evil, he has major social communication issues, and likes to communcate through negativity, he makes it up with 100 gifts for a child of 6+, also awkward). This aunt recently also was diagnosed with uncurable cancer. Before I knew that, I noticed that she kept talking about seeing storks everywhere, that represented her parents and her sister. She believed that it was a sign. These 3 storks. Or any stork. Stork = People fro above that think of me or try to tell me something. I don't believe in this stuff; but that does not matter for me; it is what matters for another. So when I stumbled on a stork christmas ornament I HAD to buy it. I wanted to buy 3 but they where really expensive American ornaments, and I din't have the money for 1, let alone 3. So I bought one.

I ended up with a christmas like this;
I had to celebrate christmas with a family where a large portion didn't want me and where even against me. It was celebrated at the house from the people that most dispiced me of 'ruining' their brother.
Well offourse, emotional because she was going to die. I saw so much love.
She was so happy that I bought her a stork ornament, I listened to her.
I gave her an christmas ornament for next year...she probably not be here next year.. that felt ashamed..and dumb.. but not really ( I also didn't know), because I'm not going to treat her like she is not here next year, she better be for a gazillion years!!!
She was so happy with the newborn.
The negative father shutting up for once, still gave 100 weird gifts for the newborn. But in his way he gave love.
The boyfriend of his sister, and father of the child, proposing :O And she said yes!
So much crying! Me also!
Suddenly, all of the families hate, bitterness, was totally gone due to the bad news of the aunt ánd the proposal. It was a weird rollercoaster of so many emotions, that brought people crying from tears ánd joy together.. I think we all left baffeled but so much closer to each other, and so much closer to love.

And that might be the true spirit of christmas?

I’m so sorry to hear this...I’ll be praying for you.