Christmas discussion!
It's almost Christmas! Does anyone have a special Christmas Eve tradition? My brother and I used to always read The Night Before Christmas together, I believe when we were little my mom read it to us, then we read it to each other, and then when our youngest sister was born (I am the oldest) we read the story to her. Then of course we put out homemade cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer.
My parents used to hide gifts in the attic and sometimes we would hear them scuffling around up there late Christmas eve and were easily convinced that the noises above must have been reindeer on the roof!
My parents used to hide gifts in the attic and sometimes we would hear them scuffling around up there late Christmas eve and were easily convinced that the noises above must have been reindeer on the roof!
Oh! This reminds me I should have said Auntie Mame is also one of my favorite Christmas movies. Not sure everyone considers it a "Christmas" movie but I say if Lethal Weapon is a Christmas movie Auntie Mame certainly can be.
Anyway, that's been one of my favorite movies for decades and it still makes me cry. "We Need a Little Christmas" is also a song I belt out with vigor this season. And oddly, each year it seems to be more pointed...
BTW, did you know that the book "My Auntie Mame" is autobiographical? I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Mame Dennis and she was a real person!
I have not seen this movie... I must search for it and see if I can find it! I have watched a few random Christmas movies this year and could go for a few more. I thoroughly enjoyed "Mixed Nuts" with Steve Martin for the first time this year.
Skip the Lucille Ball version. A vanity project that I think embarrassed her.
Find the Rosalind Russell version. Pure gold!
I hope you get all the blessings you're hoping for, Woytgirl! Richly deserved, I'm sure!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Well, the festivities portion of the day is over here on the West Coast. At least at my house. All the kids and my grandson have left with their bundles of prezzies and remains of the Christmas feast.
I'm waiting for one dishwasher load to finish so that I can get a second one in process before packing it in for the day. That means one more movie to end the day on a mellow note.
It was great while it lasted! Good food. Good fun. Good conversation and good spirits. Good silly games until we just couldn't think anymore.
Tomorrow will be lots of laundry from all those extra beds and trying to bring order back from chaos. And then reliving all the memories.
Hope you all enjoyed yours like we enjoyed ours. It's been great spending a year of chicken husbandry and this particular thread with you guys! I raise my Diet Pepsi to you! On to 2019!
I'm waiting for one dishwasher load to finish so that I can get a second one in process before packing it in for the day. That means one more movie to end the day on a mellow note.
It was great while it lasted! Good food. Good fun. Good conversation and good spirits. Good silly games until we just couldn't think anymore.
Tomorrow will be lots of laundry from all those extra beds and trying to bring order back from chaos. And then reliving all the memories.
Hope you all enjoyed yours like we enjoyed ours. It's been great spending a year of chicken husbandry and this particular thread with you guys! I raise my Diet Pepsi to you! On to 2019!
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- #87
Thanks! Merry Christmas everyone!
Loopeend
Crowing
- Jun 12, 2018
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I am going to scrooge. A bit.
I had to cut of my ties with my family this year. Due to a child-abuse situation in my youth that they are STILL not accepting that it happened and STILL say I made it up for attention (the person died 17 years ago). For years I still hang out with them; because everyone wants a family. But it was more like faking.. I wished that I one day had a family when I did my best.. And they kept saying stuff like that, bringing it up themselves, how I made up these stories about this uncle...and everyone wants a family, so I kept it going, trying and hoping they sometimes would accept me as a person. Feelings misserable after, and like a fake. Realising they would never change.
Untill this year. I cut all the ties.
It was so lonely, the first christmas without a family. My parents are seperated so I allways had a full christmas (where I live we have 2 christmas days). Now nothing.
I also have a new partner since this year. We were invited to his familiy's christmas. His family had a troubled year. Or he with his family. His father is really negative about eveything he does. "he is useless". He used to have his mom to be there for him, but she died two years ago due to cancer. Leaving only the negative, because the positive that kept him out of his fathers negativity was gone. He had an burn-out due to have to take care of all the things at a funeral, washing and clothing his mothers body, because his father didn't want to do it. I got the blaime..since we just met a month before and before that he didn''t have a burn-out... so it must be me...Due to his brother and wife. They also asked him to dump me, and send me a message that I need to get away from him =/ His sister has a big problem with her father too. They have an aunt that I bonded with immediately. Such a good, friendly, nice, open, caring woman. The sister had her first baby without her mother and she was there for her, all through labour, her father, meh, negative, didn't even look at the baby. (he is not evil, he has major social communication issues, and likes to communcate through negativity, he makes it up with 100 gifts for a child of 6+, also awkward). This aunt recently also was diagnosed with uncurable cancer. Before I knew that, I noticed that she kept talking about seeing storks everywhere, that represented her parents and her sister. She believed that it was a sign. These 3 storks. Or any stork. Stork = People fro above that think of me or try to tell me something. I don't believe in this stuff; but that does not matter for me; it is what matters for another. So when I stumbled on a stork christmas ornament I HAD to buy it. I wanted to buy 3 but they where really expensive American ornaments, and I din't have the money for 1, let alone 3. So I bought one.
I ended up with a christmas like this;
I had to celebrate christmas with a family where a large portion didn't want me and where even against me. It was celebrated at the house from the people that most dispiced me of 'ruining' their brother.
Well offourse, emotional because she was going to die. I saw so much love.
She was so happy that I bought her a stork ornament, I listened to her.
I gave her an christmas ornament for next year...she probably not be here next year.. that felt ashamed..and dumb.. but not really ( I also didn't know), because I'm not going to treat her like she is not here next year, she better be for a gazillion years!!!
She was so happy with the newborn.
The negative father shutting up for once, still gave 100 weird gifts for the newborn. But in his way he gave love.
The boyfriend of his sister, and father of the child, proposing :O And she said yes!
So much crying! Me also!
Suddenly, all of the families hate, bitterness, was totally gone due to the bad news of the aunt ánd the proposal. It was a weird rollercoaster of so many emotions, that brought people crying from tears ánd joy together.. I think we all left baffeled but so much closer to each other, and so much closer to love.
And that might be the true spirit of christmas?
I had to cut of my ties with my family this year. Due to a child-abuse situation in my youth that they are STILL not accepting that it happened and STILL say I made it up for attention (the person died 17 years ago). For years I still hang out with them; because everyone wants a family. But it was more like faking.. I wished that I one day had a family when I did my best.. And they kept saying stuff like that, bringing it up themselves, how I made up these stories about this uncle...and everyone wants a family, so I kept it going, trying and hoping they sometimes would accept me as a person. Feelings misserable after, and like a fake. Realising they would never change.
Untill this year. I cut all the ties.
It was so lonely, the first christmas without a family. My parents are seperated so I allways had a full christmas (where I live we have 2 christmas days). Now nothing.
I also have a new partner since this year. We were invited to his familiy's christmas. His family had a troubled year. Or he with his family. His father is really negative about eveything he does. "he is useless". He used to have his mom to be there for him, but she died two years ago due to cancer. Leaving only the negative, because the positive that kept him out of his fathers negativity was gone. He had an burn-out due to have to take care of all the things at a funeral, washing and clothing his mothers body, because his father didn't want to do it. I got the blaime..since we just met a month before and before that he didn''t have a burn-out... so it must be me...Due to his brother and wife. They also asked him to dump me, and send me a message that I need to get away from him =/ His sister has a big problem with her father too. They have an aunt that I bonded with immediately. Such a good, friendly, nice, open, caring woman. The sister had her first baby without her mother and she was there for her, all through labour, her father, meh, negative, didn't even look at the baby. (he is not evil, he has major social communication issues, and likes to communcate through negativity, he makes it up with 100 gifts for a child of 6+, also awkward). This aunt recently also was diagnosed with uncurable cancer. Before I knew that, I noticed that she kept talking about seeing storks everywhere, that represented her parents and her sister. She believed that it was a sign. These 3 storks. Or any stork. Stork = People fro above that think of me or try to tell me something. I don't believe in this stuff; but that does not matter for me; it is what matters for another. So when I stumbled on a stork christmas ornament I HAD to buy it. I wanted to buy 3 but they where really expensive American ornaments, and I din't have the money for 1, let alone 3. So I bought one.
I ended up with a christmas like this;
I had to celebrate christmas with a family where a large portion didn't want me and where even against me. It was celebrated at the house from the people that most dispiced me of 'ruining' their brother.
Well offourse, emotional because she was going to die. I saw so much love.
She was so happy that I bought her a stork ornament, I listened to her.
I gave her an christmas ornament for next year...she probably not be here next year.. that felt ashamed..and dumb.. but not really ( I also didn't know), because I'm not going to treat her like she is not here next year, she better be for a gazillion years!!!
She was so happy with the newborn.
The negative father shutting up for once, still gave 100 weird gifts for the newborn. But in his way he gave love.
The boyfriend of his sister, and father of the child, proposing :O And she said yes!
So much crying! Me also!
Suddenly, all of the families hate, bitterness, was totally gone due to the bad news of the aunt ánd the proposal. It was a weird rollercoaster of so many emotions, that brought people crying from tears ánd joy together.. I think we all left baffeled but so much closer to each other, and so much closer to love.
And that might be the true spirit of christmas?
Loopeend, I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. Over and over, apparently.
Yes, some families are a mess and what makes it worse is that you feel the need to pretend that the circumstances are otherwise and play along.
I think you are very brave to be upfront about your situation. I think that can be the beginning of making it different in the future.
You didn't ask for advice so feel free to ignore mine but I'd say that you should choose your new relationships very carefully. You don't have to have the same kind over and over again. You're entitled to the best company you can make. That will take time and you'll have to put the past behind you. You can do that better by having an ally who can help you work it through. Do you have a therapist?
I came from a toxic family too so I understand. I was lucky enough to find my husband and he sorta raised me all over again at the age of 20. We're together 50 years this year and those 50 have been wonderful. Not every minute, of course. We had some tough times and big misunderstandings but altogether they've been great and made an entirely different kind of life possible.
I've got my fingers crossed for you. And I'm sending a cup of tea and a hug for now.
Yes, some families are a mess and what makes it worse is that you feel the need to pretend that the circumstances are otherwise and play along.
I think you are very brave to be upfront about your situation. I think that can be the beginning of making it different in the future.
You didn't ask for advice so feel free to ignore mine but I'd say that you should choose your new relationships very carefully. You don't have to have the same kind over and over again. You're entitled to the best company you can make. That will take time and you'll have to put the past behind you. You can do that better by having an ally who can help you work it through. Do you have a therapist?
I came from a toxic family too so I understand. I was lucky enough to find my husband and he sorta raised me all over again at the age of 20. We're together 50 years this year and those 50 have been wonderful. Not every minute, of course. We had some tough times and big misunderstandings but altogether they've been great and made an entirely different kind of life possible.
I've got my fingers crossed for you. And I'm sending a cup of tea and a hug for now.
Loopeend
Crowing
- Jun 12, 2018
- 1,039
- 2,351
- 276
Thanks for the hug. My family is not okay. Period. I haven't included everything. But it is a narcistic parent story. They can never be back in my life. That made it a hard christmas.
But I liked to see how a inlaw family, as an onlooker, that had troubles, became so much together suddenly
I feel like I saw true love, they came together and even included me! I know I can't have that with my family. But what a wonderfull sight it was to see people come so close together as a family And I have an oppurtinuty to become a part of that family So I in a strange way feel blessed.Similar threads
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