Clean Blonde Jokes!!!

[hemet dennis]

Two blondes walk into a building ------------------------------------------------------------- You would have thought one of them would see it.

 

[animallover505]

I'm on page 8, you guys are great!

 

[kyla]

Who's glad tht I created this thread?! The ironic thing is tht im a natural blonde hair and all!!

Joke Time!!

You know whats funny? A blonde telling blonde jokes!!

 

[oldrooster]

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand ?"And the blonde says: "Well, at the beginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk "Where do you keep the curtains for computers?" The clerk answers with a puzzled face "Curtains for computers? You don't need curtains for computers." The blonde's eyes widen and she shakes her head as she answers "Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!"

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different pla nets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question."If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?" After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet." They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her. Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her. Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun." The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?" The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"

[FONT=comic sans ms,arial]Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.[/FONT]

 

[oldrooster]

How blonde was she?? She was soooooooooooooo blonde...
... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.... she thought a quarterback was a refund... she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order... she thought Boyz II Men was a day-care center.... she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.... she thought General Motors was in the Army.... she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.... she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.... under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".... she tried to drown a fish.... she tripped over a cordless phone.... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate".... she got stabbed in a shoot-out.... she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK".... they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.... at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius".... she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.... it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes".... she studied for a blood test-and failed.... she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train".... she sold the car for gas money.... when she saw the movie rating "NC-17: under 17 not admitted", she went home and got 16 friends.... when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.... she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.... when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.... when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left", she turned around and went home.... she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

 

[animallover505]

A blonde and her husband are sleeping when the neighbor’s dog starts barks and wakes them up. The blonde sighs, shakes her fist and says 'Wait until you see what I'm going to do to those neighbors!' She runs out of the house and five minutes later she comes back with a smile on her face. The husband asks 'So, what did you do?' The blonde says 'Well, I took the dog from their yard and I put it in our yard to see how they like it having the neighbor’s dog barking all night.'​

There was a Blonde and her husband. ​

One morning the husband leaves for work and the blonde gets up. She's determined to prove to her husband that blondes arn't dumb, by painting the kitchen. ​

When her husband gets home he says to his wife "Honey why do you have 3 coats on?" ​

The blonde says, "Well the directions on the paint said to use three coats for best results."​

One day this blonde is riding a horse. As they are trotting along the blond decides she wants to go faster and do some tricks so she starts turning the horse around in a circle. All of a sudden she starts to slip so she grabs the horses mane. But even though she has hold of the mane she was still slipping. so she decided the best thing to do was to not fall off by putting her foot in the saddle. So she's riding along hanging from her foot, with her head banging on the ground, almost near death when the K Mart guy comes over and turns of the horse.​

 

[kyla]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[jbirds2012]

lol

 

[bluedragonfire]

A blond, a redhead, and a brunette were walking along one day when they came to an enchanted castle. They were about to go in when a magic mirror appeared in front of them. It said, "To enter, you must tell me one thing about yourself. If it is true, you may pass. If it is not, your head will explode." The brunette said, "I think that I am pretty." The mirror said, "You may pass." The brunette went into the castle. The redhead said, "I think I'm smart." The mirror let her pass. The blond said, "I think--" and her head exploded.
(My one of my friends told me this a few years ago, so what I couldn't remember I improvised.)

 

[AccentOnHakes]

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand ?"And the blonde says: "Well, at the beginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk "Where do you keep the curtains for computers?" The clerk answers with a puzzled face "Curtains for computers? You don't need curtains for computers." The blonde's eyes widen and she shakes her head as she answers "Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!"

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different pla nets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question."If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?" After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet." They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her. Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her. Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun." The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?" The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"

[FONT=comic sans ms,arial]Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.[/FONT]

Oh, goodness! That Air Supply joke got me--I love Air Supply and it was great to see them used in a joke!