Clean Blonde Jokes!!!

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by kyla, Aug 23, 2012.

  1. kyla

    kyla Songster

    Apr 7, 2011
    Hope, Indiana
    Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"
    This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."
    The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."
    "OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
    Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing."
    "There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde.
    After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"

    Another joke:

    Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
    The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
    The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
    The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
    The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

    BantammChick likes this.
  2. fried green eggs

    fried green eggs Songster

    Mar 25, 2011
    S.E. Michigan
    A blond is telling her bff about her first time riding a horse. "So I got on this pretty little horse and it just took off galloping with me. I tried to hang on but, the saddle was so slippery that I started to fall off. I was yelling for help and hanging on for dear life. I had my arms wrapped around it's neck. I really thought I was going to die. It was so scarry" The bff said "Oh my God! How did you get it to stop?" Blond says "Oh this nice man just came up and he saved me" Bff "How did he stop it?" Blond "He unpluged it from the wall and it stopped. I thanked the man for saving my life and he just laughed - like it was no big deal" Bff "Really? It was a Walmart horse?"
  3. Savuti

    Savuti In the Brooder

    Jul 25, 2012
    Bay Area Coast, CA
    A blonde is driving down a road past a field. She notices another blonde in the middle of the field, furiously rowing in a row boat. The blonde stops her car, gets out and yells to the other blonde: "It's blondes like you that give us a bad name! If I could swim, I'd come out there and give you a piece of my mind!"
  4. Zinnia-Hen

    Zinnia-Hen Live & Let Live

    Jan 29, 2011
    January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

    February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

    March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 said "2-4 years!"

    April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

    May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

    June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

    July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

    August - Got locked out of car in rain swamped, because top was down.

    September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

    October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

    November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

    December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!
  5. chickened

    chickened Crowing

    Oct 2, 2010
    western Oregon
    Blonde was hunting, shot an elk a man came up as she was tagging the elk and the blonde said "this is my elk and you are not taking it" the guy said "lady, I just want my saddle".
  6. Matthew3590

    Matthew3590 Songster

    Apr 10, 2011
    Middle, TN

    So far all of these are really funny!
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2012
  7. kyla

    kyla Songster

    Apr 7, 2011
    Hope, Indiana
    A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.
    The blonde guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father?"
    Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?"
    The other blonde turns and says "Hellooooooo, can you see Florida ...?"

  8. Fowl_Odor002

    Fowl_Odor002 Songster

    Jul 5, 2011
    Mostly Here
    blonde goes to the clinic for a pregnancy test
    doctor says "you're pregnant"
    blonde says "OMG, is it mine?"
  9. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

    Jan 12, 2007
    Land of Lincoln
  10. There's only ever been 2 blond jokes

    Every thing else you hear is true.


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