Coffee's ready...

[math ace]

Quote:

Fantastic NEWS

 

[math ace]

Quote:
I don't think that mother / child bond comes instantenous Osedog. I know it didn't for me. I wanted my children, but still that bond was not there at birth. I know it is not there for a LOT of mothers at birth. That bond develops while taking care of the child. When you realize that you are the cild's sole source of survior - - -that is when the MOTHER BEAR attitude comes in . . .

So, if she is not having too take care of her child - - - she will not develope that bond.
I think I heard that birds are that way ( not our chickens of course). If you mess with a baby bird and the mother smells a foreign scent on them she will kick them out of the nest. In other words - - it is not hers so she doesn't want to take care of it.

Dotty is right there right now. That baby is not hers - - IT is YOURS. Until she absolutely HAS To take care of it - - -she will push it out to you. IT is just EASIER to not be a momma. If I had a mother who could competently take care of my children better than I could of, it would of been so tempting to let her. My children were premees and it was rough - - - oh so rough. HOWEVER, I had no one and I had to push through that rough time in my life and I am stronger for it!

It is not going to be easier for her. It won't be easy for you either BECAUSE you know how to do it and you are going to have to SIT BACK and let her make her mistakes

I feel for both of you !

 

[Terri O]

I did not read all of this story but I so agree with you math ace! I have a friend that thinks she is "helping" her daughter and what she is really doing is hurting her. It is one thing to help out when needed (that is what I plan to do IF i ever get any grandkids!) and another to take full responsibility for the child and then get used for it! This is what is happening in my friend's case. Everyone around her can see that she is being used--but she cant. Do your daughter a favor and practice a little bit of tough love. Hugs to you! Terri O

 

[math ace]

CLEARLY - - - I HAD WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE THIS MORNING - -

- - - LOOK

at all those posts I did!

Sorry, if I was a THREAD HOG this morning

 

[Tanichca]

My glasses broke this morning, i didn't drop them or anything. i just put them on my face and they FELL APART. The funny thing is, i just went in yesterday to order a new pair, because these ones are too weak for my eyes. So they couldnt have picked a better time to break

 

[oesdog]

Well just got back from hiding from the Dd. - Who phoned us while we were out again!!!!
She finally came to get Jessica at near midday. We were right and ready to leave when she got here and so we explained we were not going to stay as we were going out.
My old Boss/ Adopted Dad charactor - said he had a camper van table and we need one to make up the double bed so we said yep we would take it - so we went up to thier place to get it. He had also left us a good load of other stuff in the porch as they were out doing something for the chuch today, Bless him!!!!!!!

Ok Math ace your right of course - oh yeah Chicks your on the bully oesdog council aren't you! Ta for that too!!!! - Your all right I know you are !!!!!!!

I mean today was a classic example - Jessica the little darling slept from 11pm last night until after 6 am this morning which is fantastic. Only thing is our Danny was again up from 2 am so we really are surviving on very little sleep right now. It isn't good for DH at all. I drove us out today and we got the stuff for the camper DH wanted and then did a few bits of shopping. We also stopped for coffee to give Danny a treat and DH a rest. Danny is hard work to get to push the trolly etc but he has to be involved!!! Yeah it is like having a 23yr old toddler in nappies trailling about the supper market! - Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only the mother of a toddler can understand and then x it by 100!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhow got Danny boy and Dh back in the car and home and now Dh is in bed agai. He is very ill and grey and completely wiped out.
You are all so right about Dottys responsibilities as a parent. - I don't however do anything for the baby at all if she is here. I go do the washing up or I go on the computer and if she askes for me to change a nappy or feed Jess I tell her I am busy doing this or that. So I am trying to be out of the way. She gets upset and huffy but what else can I do. There is no reason why Dotty and Mark couldn't of taken Jess home last night and tended her. IF they were going out to town or for a meal or to the movies it would have been different but they didn't they stayed home and left the care to me and DH.

When I was a young mom I would have done anything for someone to help - I was married at 17, had Mike within the year and he was premature. Then we lost a baby at 16 weeks gustation and I got pregnant with the twins straight after that. Only they thought it was tripplets until 20 weeks then I lost one of those as they couldn;t find it on the scan after?? So by age 19 yrs I had 3 kids all premature boys!!!!!!!! We wanted a girl and decided we would try once more and if it was a boy then we wouldn't try again. It turned out when I went to finally see the Dr dragged by my sick mother in law that I was already 5 months with Dotty!!!! She went mental with me - I think she knew she was dieing and would not be there for me. She died when Dot was 6 months old. ( I didn;t regret having that baby though as DH and I figured well we were already stuck with babies one more wouldn;t make a difference at that stage!!!!) It was hard losing my mother in law, I loved her and because she died of cancer she seemed to wast away to nothing. - This formidable woman just disapeared before us She was only 53 yrs old!!! I often wonder what she would have been like as a granny to my kids over the years. My own mother never ever gave any interest at all. So by the time I was 21 yrs old I had a whole lot of stuff going on!!! 4 kids and lossing my mum in law. Then my father in law had stroke after stroke so I spent the next load of years caring for him too. - As I said sometimes I feel like I am drowning in poo for years!!!!!!!!!!!!! Father in law passed away a good while ago now and we sooooo miss them both. Dotty doesn;t know how lucky she is - but she uses us and lies to us I know this.

I need to put limitations on the care of young Jess. I am not her mother and I have to learn to be granny. Dotty has to be a mother!!!!!!! NO matter how hard it is.

I think I have done my fare share of the caring over the years and I still have DH and Danny, also Ben too with his issues. Your right Math ace not enough ME to go around.

I am soooo tired. - I sooooo wish I was on the way to Florida!!!! If only you could pick me up at the airport what a lovely thought!!!!!!!

It may take me a while to grow all those feathers I need to get myself over there though - no money for air tickets here so will need to grow wings !!!! Ha Ha - I maybe will need to have a little chat with a few of those unwanter Roos I am hidding??? -

Thanks for the careing bullying girls!!!! -
(You remind me of my head chicken Gerty!!! She would peck your eyeballs out!!!)

Oesdog

 

[math ace]

Quote:
Girl. if I was over there - - - I would so HELP YOU SAY "NO" to your daughter.

 

[chics in the sun]

That was funny how many posts you did, Math Ace!! I was laughing before you even mentioned the coffee over-load! The baby chicks are doing great, and have all figured out the nipple waterer. I think I'll stick with those from now on when I have chicks - much less of a mess!
Yes, Oesdog, it's what I do. If you were in my office you would be paying me big bucks (

) to nag you about the situation. I would also be making you practice what you will say the next time she wants to take advantage of your soft spot for Jess - such as, "No, Dotty, I am tired and I am spending the evening with your father. I have done my time raising babies, and now it is your time, whether you intended for it to be or not. I know you are tired, but we all are. I'm sorry." There you go, very good!! You never did say who you are afraid she will leave baby Jess with if you don't take her. Either way, make her take Jess back and see how she does.

 

[oesdog]

Quote:
Thanks !!!!!!!!!

Well its 10 pm at night here and I just had them back again - DOtty fighting back tears and baby crying and all. Dotty with a bad head and Mark not know which way to turn really. So anyhow fed them supper and got them T/Coffee. DH took her aside and asked her what was up and she said she was depressed because she hadn;t got much money again! Honestly I only sent them out of here a few hours ago - What changed in that time I do not know!!!!!!! So anyhow dusted them down adn sorted them out and now sent them home to get a good night sleep ( With Jess - Chicks ok!!!) Anyhow Dotty looks dreadful and tired so Ihope the headache tabs work for her.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

They are comming back tomorrow for Sunday dinner and Dotty is cooking it here so should be good for her to do that. She brought two chickens over cause she tells DH she didn;t have room for them in her Fridge Freezer. I gotta ask myself this one thing - If Dd is crying because she is depressed about money and hasn;t much food in the house - why then has she NO ROOM IN AN EMPTY FRIDGE for two chickens??????????

Oesdog ( Tell me I am not losing my marbles on this one????)

 

[Tanichca]

so...sore....