Coronavirus, Covid 19 Discussion and How It Has Affected Your Daily Life Chat Thread

[SconnieChickens]

OMG! You poor thing-going so long without any friendly guidance at all. People can never understand true depression unless they've been there. One of my BFF's at the time just said to me "you'll snap out of it" . Like a switch was going to appear and "poof" make everything better. My other BFF just accepted me no matter what. People do not understand somethings that they cannot see. Namely depression and anxiety. I think my mother and sister and hubs are the only ones that understand because they have it or they live with someone that has it. Yes people do not want to understand. They just go with the "herd mentality " that you are wrong and they are right.

I know what it's like to be sitting in a movie theater and just suddenly can't breath. I run out to the car and try to breathe normal and stop thinking I will die. And 30 minutes later feel fine . You have to be honest with yourself and whoever else is willing to understand you. When it's really hard to understand. Hiding panic attacks only make it worse. SO BE IT!. Who is most important? You are. And it only matters how you see yourself and accept it. OMG I have been on 3-4 depression/bipolar/anxiety meds for about 18 years. It runs in my family. Chronic depression that will never go away , and without any reason, and all these pills help me live a normal life and feel normal things. Oh God there is nothing worse than being numb, overwhelmed, upset, wanting to just hide. People don't want to see it because it is not something they really know about.

You are among friends here , and some of them can understand how awful it is to have something that can't be seen only felt . And I'm sure you pretend to be normal with a happy smile in front of the public so no one can see the pain of what you have. I know.

Chickens will save you. They live very simple lives. They show you that maybe it's better to simplify your life and make things more tolerable.

Sorry for the long post but if I feel I can help someone I tend to go all out. That's the way I am.

You are too kind and thanks for the words of encouragement. I would bet a lot of us here have that caretaker mentality and try to protect others from things that are uncomfortable. For years no one knew anything was wrong because I hid it so well....come to think of it that's kind of how chickens are too right? By the time you can tell something is wrong it's really bad!

 

[SconnieChickens]

Hello all. My husband has cancer. He was diagnosed 2 yrs ago. He has had chemo, 35 radiation treatments and Ivor Lewis surgery. He was cancer free for 9 months. It has returned in one lymph node and is currently getting chemo. He was told on his fb by someone (who was complaining about not opening everything) that he is going to die anyway, so it doesn't matter. Basically, told to go and die. I also belong to a cancer group for his type of cancer. Many of those people were told the same thing by others since covid-19 has come out. He is devastated. I am in Mama Bear mode. You sure see the true nature of people during this virus outbreak. He had many people just break contact when he was first diagnosed, they don't know what to say or do. But this - is heartbreaking.

People can be so selfish! Yeah, your haircut is more important than someone's actual life. And I care about small businesses, but I wonder if some of these ppl out there protesting are just mad that they first world life has been interrupted. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that.

 

[ShrekDawg]

You are too kind and thanks for the words of encouragement. I would bet a lot of us here have that caretaker mentality and try to protect others from things that are uncomfortable. For years no one knew anything was wrong because I hid it so well....come to think of it that's kind of how chickens are too right? By the time you can tell something is wrong it's really bad!

I always used to hide stuff, bottle everything up, etc. still sort of do but now I do at least have a few close friends I can be honest with for the most part or at least about some stuff which helps. But even with them, I still don’t tell them everything or even most things because I always feel like I’m bothering people and I definitely never tell my family anything

 

[The Moonshiner]

You are too kind and thanks for the words of encouragement. I would bet a lot of us here have that caretaker mentality and try to protect others from things that are uncomfortable. For years no one knew anything was wrong because I hid it so well....come to think of it that's kind of how chickens are too right? By the time you can tell something is wrong it's really bad!

I think a lot of woman especially are like this.
I've been following these posts about depression and here's a hint from the husbands that don't have depression side.
It is hard to understand and it's hard for you ladies to understand our side just as much.
There's a lot of talk about they don't get it and I hate when they say "fill in the blank" because that doesn't help.
You need to understand men and woman see things different. For the most part men try to look at things logical. We are guided by our brains.
Woman tend to look at things much more emotional. Their hearts guide them so much more then with men.
It's hard for us to see things that are powered with an overwhelming amount of emotions. And its just as hard for you ladies to see things that are powered by such lack of emotions. Its not that we don't care. We're just programed as problem solvers and task masters. We're wired to not let emotions get in the way so we can fulfill a task and do it logically.
Some men take that to far to the extreme and it comes off and maybe is they have a severe lack of emotions. But some woman go to far to the extreme with making everything over emotional.
It comes down to lack of communication. We don't understand because were speaking a different language and get just as frustrated because youre making little sense to us and youre just as frustrated because were not hearing you or understanding.
Then top that off with you trying to hid it or cover it up. Things look fine until it gets overwhelming and you have a crisis.
If youre not open and honest with yourselves and those around you that love you what can you really expect.
If your husband was sick you would be right on it to get him through it and back to his healthy self asap. But what if he didn't tell you what the problem or issues was. Wouldn't it make it kinda hard to heal someone when you don't know the problem? Without knowing the symptoms or what to treat? Wouldn't it cause frustration?
Everyone gets depressed but getting depressed isn't the same as having depression. Men get depressed and then they get past it and go on with life. For most that don't know thats how they see it. They don't understand that depression is a whole different beast then temporarily being depressed about something. When some say things like just get over it or your just being lazy. Its because they don't understand the difference of being depressed and having depression. They don't understand how tight depression holds on.
I think with a little more honesty with yourself and your loved on and a little more focus on communication things get a lot better for both parties.

 

[21hens-incharge]

I think a lot of woman especially are like this.
I've been following these posts about depression and here's a hint from the husbands that don't have depression side.
It is hard to understand and it's hard for you ladies to understand our side just as much.
There's a lot of talk about they don't get it and I hate when they say "fill in the blank" because that doesn't help.
You need to understand men and woman see things different. For the most part men try to look at things logical. We are guided by our brains.
Woman tend to look at things much more emotional. Their hearts guide them so much more then with men.
It's hard for us to see things that are powered with an overwhelming amount of emotions. And its just as hard for you ladies to see things that are powered by such lack of emotions. Its not that we don't care. We're just programed as problem solvers and task masters. We're wired to not let emotions get in the way so we can fulfill a task and do it logically.
Some men take that to far to the extreme and it comes off and maybe is they have a severe lack of emotions. But some woman go to far to the extreme with making everything over emotional.
It comes down to lack of communication. We don't understand because were speaking a different language and get just as frustrated because youre making little sense to us and youre just as frustrated because were not hearing you or understanding.
Then top that off with you trying to hid it or cover it up. Things look fine until it gets overwhelming and you have a crisis.
If youre not open and honest with yourselves and those around you that love you what can you really expect.
If your husband was sick you would be right on it to get him through it and back to his healthy self asap. But what if he didn't tell you what the problem or issues was. Wouldn't it make it kinda hard to heal someone when you don't know the problem? Without knowing the symptoms or what to treat? Wouldn't it cause frustration?
Everyone gets depressed but getting depressed isn't the same as having depression. Men get depressed and then they get past it and go on with life. For most that don't know thats how they see it. They don't understand that depression is a whole different beast then temporarily being depressed about something. When some say things like just get over it or your just being lazy. Its because they don't understand the difference of being depressed and having depression. They don't understand how tight depression holds on.
I think with a little more honesty with yourself and your loved on and a little more focus on communication things get a lot better for both parties.

Nicely explained. I do think it is a bit more complicated for some though.
Men get depression as well as. It is complicated to deal with because of so many thinking they should just get over it. It is not that easy sometimes.

I do believe everyone gets depressed over events, situations, disappointments etc etc etc.
That is the thing that passes.

Depression.....it is an ugly animal that hangs over a person like a dark cloud sending painful bolts of lightning randomly. It is there regardless of what else is going on. That is the thing many people need medications to overcome.
It is also the kind of thing most difficult to talk about with loved ones.
An event or circumstance making one feel depressed is easier to say "I am depressed because of....." With depression it is not something you can put a finger on the cause and talk through.

 

[ColoradoPip]

I think this belongs here

 

[Folly's place]

I saw the pig story yesterday, and loved it! Nobody injured, and success!
Mary

 

[The Moonshiner]

Nicely explained. I do think it is a bit more complicated for some though.
Men get depression as well as. It is complicated to deal with because of so many thinking they should just get over it. It is not that easy sometimes.

I do believe everyone gets depressed over events, situations, disappointments etc etc etc.
That is the thing that passes.

Depression.....it is an ugly animal that hangs over a person like a dark cloud sending painful bolts of lightning randomly. It is there regardless of what else is going on. That is the thing many people need medications to overcome.
It is also the kind of thing most difficult to talk about with loved ones.
An event or circumstance making one feel depressed is easier to say "I am depressed because of....." With depression it is not something you can put a finger on the cause and talk through.

Ya in some situations it is more complicated.
There are situations where the partner really doesn't give a st!t or not enough to care to try to be supportive. That sucks.
And I haven't personally seen a situation where there wasn't something else going on. Lots of times depression is a symptom or side effect of something else. Either another mental health issue or from a trama. In those causes if you don't work on the other working on the depression alone is fruitless.
Another thing ive noticed about woman is there overwhelming ability to attach shame to circumstances that they shouldn't. Shame especially when misplaced seems a major struggle or hurdle for woman that men don't deal with as much or understand.
I have seen woman that seem to get stuck or seem to except this is just life for me.
Not to say "just get over it" but it will be hard to get to a better place if youre not moving forward. Even if its just baby steps moving forward is moving to a healthier life. Sometimes its one step forward and three steps backwards and maybe it is the guy in me but I think doing something is more effective then doing nothing.

 

[sdm111]

A long time ago a female friend of mine said
We dont always want you to try and fix everything we sometimes just want you to listen
So that's what I go by

 

[MROO]

I think my humor goes as far as The Bird Cage.

LOVE The Bird Cage! WE were just talking about that one here at home a few nights ago. I may have to go movie-hunting!