Could yall read/edit my paper for school?

first time farmer

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Here is my final essay for my Global studies class. It is a combined english and history class. The assignment was to write a paper on what book we thought was the most significant we read. I chose Animal Farm by George Orwell
Thank you!

Liam Cashin
Laflamme/Fitzpatrick
Global Studies Psp
June 2, 2010


Final Essay
Animal Farm by George Orwell is the most important novel of the year because it shows how a perfectly normal society can be torn apart by one person or one group of people and his use of animals portrays how the consequences can rip apart what is left of the normal society. In Animal Farm, Orwell uses a barnyard as his setting to show the effects of a take over. By using the animals Orwell can tell the story with out offending some one and since it is a fictional story it helps people to understand the hard times and the bad things that happen to the farm because of the power switch.

In the first chapter of the novel Orwell portrays a picture of a farm owned by a man named Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones is a very heavy drinker and neglects the animals to the point where they revolt against him. The most respected pig on the farm Major tells the other animals that they should rebel against the humans and run the farm on there own. The animals rebel and run Mr Jones off the farm which is then left under the command of Napoleon and Snowball two younger pigs. The animals rename the farm "Animal Farm." The animals even paint the seven commandments on the wall of the barn the seventh being the most important, all animals are equal. During the course of the novel we see that this is untrue. This relates to what we have learned in class this year. For example when Hitler or Stalin took control of their countries they took advantage of bad situations and said they could make them better just as the pigs did in the novel. The use of animals make this easier to understand in my mind which is my main reason for choosing this book.

As the story in the novel progresses we see how what was supposed to be a communist like government turn into a democracy then into a dictatorship. When the animals first took over the farm they worked it as a almost communist like society. However as things happen in the book Napoleon slowly starts taking totally control. The far turns into a dictatorship when Napoleon has his dogs (which he acquired by taking the dogs puppies and training them in private) chase Snowball off the farm for "stealing" his idea for a windmill which we know is untrue. Once Snowball is gone he becomes a scapegoat for anything that Napoleon does not like on the farm. When the windmill is knocked down in a storm he blames Snowball. After this he starts killing animals that he suspects to be talking to Snowball. When Trujillo ruled the Dominican Republic he killed people he though were going against him. Orwell uses Napoleon as a metaphor to human dictators.

This book is my favorit book that we read this year in Global Studies. The authors use of animals got me intrested in the novel more then any other book that we read. The book was a fairly easy read and I enjoyed it. Through out the novel I felt I got to know the charecters. I also feel that the novel is not just relovent to one specfic time peroid but that it is significant to all time peroids and that Orwell hit the head on the when he wrote this book to comment on the human race and the governments that run it.

Orwell's use of farm animals in the novel Animal Farm helps people understand his comentary on human society. The animals let people understand the effects of a dictatorship such as hitlers or stalins and help to not offend anyone when Napoleon has animals killed for going against him. The barnyard setting and the government set up by the pigs then taken over by one sole pig shows how a utopia can spiral into something it was never supposed to be.
 
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wow, great essay
You did a great job describing the story, for an audience that hasn't read the book. It sounds like a very interesting book. I like how you gave your opinion on why you liked the novel and how it made you feel.
One word of caution though. I noticed some punctuation missing (like commas ect) and some minor spelling. I like to read mine out loud and catch all the mistakes that way.
all in all
thumbsup.gif
 
Use spell check, and make sure your grammar is correct. You have a good basic draft, but it needs tweaked a bit to get a good grade.
 
Thank you very much! I did do spell check after I posted it on here so most of that is fixed I am going to have my girlfriend look at it to (she is goo at this kind of stuff lol) so with your help and hers this should be my best essay yet
smile.png
 
hey I made some changes using Word, and have comments section to fix it, but duh, BYC doesn't have a download section. I can email it...but thats about it.
I will try and copy but it doesn't seem to copy all my comments.

yep just tried...grrrrr....and I took time!
 
Great job!
I'm so glad you're doing this report, if only more students would read this book and understand that that is not the right way to live.
 
Overall, not a bad summary on the book. I've made a comment or two
in the text, but I'm not really into editing your work without changing
your thoughts. As with anything your write, watch for mistakes. Always
read it backto yourself.

Named by Time Magzine as one of the Best 100 Novels, Animal Farm is
in the genre called Dystopian Literature : It explores the social and
political structures of a time. The exact time is Pre-Stalin Soviet Union
Russia. Animal Farm has gone on to win the 1996 Hugo Award for
Retrospective Science Fiction.








Final Essay


Animal Farm (writen between 1943-1945) by George Orwell is (was)
the most important novel of the year (to me) because it shows how a
perfectly normal society can be torn apart by one person or one group
of people (some ideal missing here? People doing what, how?) and his
use of animals portrays how the consequences can rip apart what is left
of the normal society. (and just what is a "normal" society?) In Animal Farm,
Orwell uses (used) a barnyard as his setting to show the effects of a take
over. By using the (delete the) animals Orwell can tell the story with out
offending some one (change some one to "people")and since it is a fictional
story it helps people to understand the hard times and the bad things that
(MAY) happen to the farm because of the power switch. (I'll go back to that
MAY at the end)

In the first chapter of the novel Orwell portrays a picture of a farm
owned by a man named Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones is a very heavy drinker and
neglects the animals to the point where they revolt against him. The most
respected pig on the farm Major tells the other animals that they should
rebel against the humans and run the farm on there own. The animals
(listen to Major and) rebel and (dropand run, insert running) run Mr Jones
off (of) the farm which is then left under the command of Napoleon and
Snowball two younger pigs. (What happened to Major here?) The animals
rename the farm "Animal Farm." The animals even paint the seven comm-
andments on the wall of the barn the seventh being the most important,
all animals are equal. During the course of the novel we see that this is
untrue. (How and why?) This relates to what we have learned in class this
year. (Again, how and why?) For example when Hitler or Stalin took control
of their countries they took advantage of bad situations and said they could
make them better just as the pigs did in the novel. The use of animals make
this easier to understand in my mind which is my main reason for choosing
this book. (You know of course that Adolf Hilter was nominated for a Nobel
Peace Prize in 1939, but did not win. Nor did Hilter actually
want World War. And there exists the "Stalin Peace Prize.)

As the story in the novel (we know the story is in the novel...please delete)
progresses we see how what was supposed to be a communist like government
turn into a democracy then into a dictatorship. When the animals first took over
the farm they worked it as a almost communist like society. (Mr. Jones had his
own form of goverment on the farm in place before the animals first overthrew
him.) However as things happen in the book Napoleon slowly starts taking totally
control. The far turns into a dictatorship when Napoleon has his dogs (which he
acquired by taking the dogs puppies and training them in private) chase Snowball
off the farm for "stealing" his idea for a windmill which we know is untrue. Once
Snowball is gone he becomes a scapegoat for anything that Napoleon does not
like on the farm. When the windmill is knocked down in a storm he blames Snow-
ball. After this he starts killing animals that he suspects to be talking to Snowball.
When Trujillo ruled the Dominican Republic he killed people he though were going
against him. Orwell uses Napoleon as a metaphor to human dictators. (Help me?
I don't remember. On what page of Animal Farm is Trujillo mentioned? If Trujillo
isn't mentioned in the book, he doesn't go here.)

This book is my favorit book that we read this year in Global Studies. The
authors use of animals got me intrested (interested me...not got me interested)
in the novel more then any other book that we read. The book was a fairly easy
read and I enjoyed it. Through out the novel I felt I got to know the charecters.
I also feel that the novel is not just relovent to one specfic time peroid but that
it is significant to all time peroids and that Orwell hit the head on the when he
wrote this book to comment on the human race and the governments that run it.

Orwell's use of farm animals in the novel Animal Farm helps people understand his
comentary on human society. The animals let people understand the effects of a
dictatorship such as hitlers or stalins and help to not offend anyone when Napoleon
has animals killed for going against him. The barnyard setting and the government
set up by the pigs then taken over by one sole pig shows how a utopia can spiral
into something it was never supposed to be.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now I'll go back to my early MAY.

If a person was to judge the ideals of Animal Farm only from your words, ALL
revolution is to be bad, bringing hard times and bad things upon the
people. I'm not sure that's exactly a true statement. George Washington,
Thomas Jefferson, John Adams led America in a revolution against
England. A point I feel you failed to mention is the corruption of leaders.

The corruption of goverment is NEVER a good thing. But what causes
this corruption, what allows it to happen? The answer is in the book.
And it has brought down goverment after goverment. Orwell gave seven
sins. But he left out indifference, ignorance, greed and myopia from the
common people.

Without people, no nation can stand.


What is a normal society? Where is a normal society? Normal in my world
may not be normal in your world. I have Amish neighbors. They are quite
happy in their world. And they don't want to be a part of my world.

Liam, nothing I've said was meant to hurt your feelings. You've presented
a quite nice essay all on your own. If any suggestion I've made helps you,
feel free to use it. Or feel free to disregard any point I've tried to make.
You've written your essay in your own words.

Good Job !
 
Depending on what grade you're in ....nice job . You have put some thought into your paper , obviously read the book , and have come up with a good essay . This will get you a B if you're not in highschool . If you are in highschool.......think sentence structure (ie...commas , spelling , depth ) . I'm so glad that you thought to share it with us . Not too many kids would think to edit on line ! My SD showed me her essay that she turned in last week....wish she would have showed me it before it was turned in !!! Texting and "computer talk " does NOT translate into real words !!! You is spelled you....not U ! Drives me insane ! Good job though !
 
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