Cremation or Burial?

[redhen]

Cremation all the way...
And no need for a gravesite for me either... Do what you want with my ashes... I wont care and i wont know, cause i'll be dead.
I dont visit peoples gravesites... no point to it. They're not really in there anyways...

They dont know that you're "visiting" them.... Just my opinioon.
Everyone has their own way to deal with grief.. Some feel the need to visit the gravesite to feel "connected" with their loved ones again... and others dont need to do that to remember their loved ones. Its all personal choice..
If i want to think about my passed on loved ones..i'll do it at home, in my own way.

 

[Royd]

The reason that I choose burial is because I figure it will lighten the Lord's load, on the day of resurrection...He won't have to be scratching around, under the trees and bushes, like some chicken, looking for supper, to put me back together.

 

[EE lover:)]

i would have them bury my ashes.

 

[love_a_duck]

i picked cremation and burial.

first though, i want every stinkin part of me that could be used be taken off.
eyeballs, skin, tissue, whatever could help improve someones life,
take it all. any organs? take em. take everything and burn up the rest.

then take those remains to a national cemetary for veterans.
yep.

oh, when my mother died, she was an organ donor,
a few weeks after her death, i received a letter from some eye organization.
someone was able to SEE because of her donations.
someone got the gift of SIGHT from my mother.
yeah, that is pretty freakin awesome.

Beth

 

[wolftracks]

Saw this the other day and opened it, Don't know why, but I wouldn't have a month ago.

Since I've been writing to and about Bill I kind of figured I got this subject started somehow.

I have to explain that we are a weird family. A bit morbid at times to say the least. Some very sick senses of humor in other words.

It's a better day today, so I thought I'd comment.

Before we got married we had the discussion about what we wanted done when we died. Both of us said burial. My reason I always give is, and it's just a joke.

"I want to be buried. I know where I'm going and I don't want to burn twice!"

Bill was a Surical RN. He worked as a Tech for years. Don't ask. He refused to do harvests, but we got put on a few anyway. He hated them. I guess he had a few choice words for a woman that tossed an organ across the room and back into the body. Got written up for that, but he didn't care. He said he could deal with the insensitive ways that some of the teams treated someones family member.

Anyway, both of us buried. That's the decission we had both made even before we met.

I did a viewing for him. I needed to finality, although I'm still not handling that part well. I just want to wake up and have it be my worse nightmare and over. His son hadn't seen him since he was a little boy. He needed to see his dad. I had the service on our wedding anniversary. I just couldn't lt him not be with me even if it was for this. He was not embalmed. He was cold as ice and I kept thinking he'd wake up. He'd have been really peeved over the makeup and I wanted him to wake up and start complaining.

Bill would have had some funny things to say about some of the posts in here. He could joke about anything. like taxadermy! "Stuff me and set me on a Harley in the driveway". I can actually hear that one.

I lost my little sister whe I was 5. They didn't take me to the funeral, because it wasn't a party as I was told. I had a hard time for a lot of years with losing my sister. No finality. I read a book when I was 33 and it brought some closure and I haven't cried over the past years over Kathy, I know where she is. I do need to o visit her and my sister who passed away in 2006 from brest cancer. Susie was cremated and that creeped me out. In April my mom was cremated and again creeped out. May my dad was buried. Flag was folded and given to one of my brothers.

Bill is buried in the Sacramento Valley National Cemetery in Dixon California. It's beautiful there. It's fairly new, 4 years old so not filling up any time soon. I Hope! He's near the big pond with the fountains and the rotunda with the flag. It's quiet, but not out in the middle of no where like the one in Santa Nilla. That place is gloomy to me. I don't handle cemeteries well, but I was comfortable there and I knew he would have liked it. He could have been placed in Arlington, but I'm too selfish and kept him close. The drive is a bugger though. I need to find a car that gets better gas milage, cause the van is a $60 trip there and back. I'll have commissary priviledges with the closest one a few exits away from the freeway I can visit him and do my shopping. At least that's the plan. I only visited once so far. I'm waiting for his marker and the sod to be placed. Dirt and dried out flowers were a bit unsettling. I'm gonna take him ice cream!

As for donating organs. That's fine. I used to be a donor. When my son was 10 months old he suffered a brain hemorage much like the ones I have with my strokes. They lost him and then they'd bring him back. I wouldn't leave and his dad had to turn me around and hold me down in a chair. After that was over the jerk said he didn't need that and was too stressful. Creep! While this was going on I was approached with a form to release organs. I told them if they didn't keep him alive I was going to take the hospital down brick by brick. They said he's be a vegetable, so I said I'd call him broccoli. He starts High School next week. And when we joke around I do call him broccoli. LOL He's a good kid with some learning disabilities, but I'm glad he has all his parts working and intact. No longer a donor although there are special conditions depending on how I die which this could change. Organ donors in my book are fair game.

Well..........this seems to happen to often. Think I'll write a novel, cause I sure can get some long drug out posts on this site.

Hope I didn't KILL the thread.

OK sick comment. But please don't stop. This thread actually helped me a little, so I might check it again.

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

wolftracks, I'm so sorry for your recent loss.

As far as burial vs. cremation, i LOVE the fact that my grandparents are cremated. Whenever we drive through Artesia (not real often though), we stop and 'visit'. One of my grandmas is buried right up next to the fence, and on the other side is a little farm with a bunch of geese (BYC members?), and it makes me happy to think of her resting near one of my favorite kinds of birds. I believe in heaven, regardless of how your remains are handled, but as a family member, I really do love getting to 'visit' my lost loved ones. DH is over in afghanistan, and we've talked a bit about the possibility that i'd have to handle that kind of decision, and I told him, 'unless you are HELL BENT on cremation, I would want you buried'.... i think if he died (god forbid) and wasn't planted well in a space of earth, I'd probably get real weird, and talk to the ashes a lot, and generally go nuts. I'd want him close, but away from the chaos, and separate, at least some of the time, from our lives. I also told him that If I die first, I want to be buried, and am okay with organ donation, but would like to be 'put back together' as well as possible afterward. and NO embalming. that totally freaks me out.

 

[wolftracks]

chickensducks&agoose :

wolftracks, I'm so sorry for your recent loss.

As far as burial vs. cremation, i LOVE the fact that my grandparents are cremated. Whenever we drive through Artesia (not real often though), we stop and 'visit'. One of my grandmas is buried right up next to the fence, and on the other side is a little farm with a bunch of geese (BYC members?), and it makes me happy to think of her resting near one of my favorite kinds of birds. I believe in heaven, regardless of how your remains are handled, but as a family member, I really do love getting to 'visit' my lost loved ones. DH is over in afghanistan, and we've talked a bit about the possibility that i'd have to handle that kind of decision, and I told him, 'unless you are HELL BENT on cremation, I would want you buried'.... i think if he died (god forbid) and wasn't planted well in a space of earth, I'd probably get real weird, and talk to the ashes a lot, and generally go nuts. I'd want him close, but away from the chaos, and separate, at least some of the time, from our lives. I also told him that If I die first, I want to be buried, and am okay with organ donation, but would like to be 'put back together' as well as possible afterward. and NO embalming. that totally freaks me out.

Sounds like a nice place.

One of the selling points of where Bill is...........a Drop Zone! LOL

He was a jump master and although he had never jumped there, he wanted to go visit. One of my daughters reminded me and that was one reason I went to look and it was perfect.

I'm gonna pray that you have many many years or NEVER to deal with losing your husband. I'm going to light some candles and smudge for his safe return home to you.

Whe Bill returned from Vietnam I was 12. LOL I called him the old guy. Funny how you can catch up to a person in age. LOL

Yeah and the embalming. YUCK! Bill discribed it to me blow by blow. I don't think so!

I'd like to add an alarm system though when I'm buried. Just in case!

BTW...............when the day comes to be risen!!!??? Military cemeteries use cement tombs. Check on us, we might be stuck!

Oh and I'm going to be buried with Bill when the time comes.​

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

Quote:
the victorians had little bells set up, just in case... I used to want an emergency exit to an underground room with a tv, minifridge and a PHONE! you know.. so I wasn't bored while I was waiting to be saved..

 

[wolftracks]

chickensducks&agoose :

Quote:
the victorians had little bells set up, just in case... I used to want an emergency exit to an underground room with a tv, minifridge and a PHONE! you know.. so I wasn't bored while I was waiting to be saved..

LOL sorry but we thin alike.

I usually get the old eye roll when I mention those kind of things.​

 

[EweSheep]

Wolftracks, I have no idea why it was so bad with the remains. I would like to hear more but I am sure most of them probably don't toss organs around because it is too valuable.