Dad Jokes😂

[Jester57]

An atheist built a bridge to honor his philosophy.


It was a suspension of disbelief.

 

[Jester57]

He told a lot of lies.

Spoiler

It was the cause of some fiction between them.

 

[Jester57]

Warning: NSFW

What do breasts sound like?

Spoiler

They titter.

 

[Jester57]

Today is a sad day.


My stock in the ice cream company took a dip.

 

[Jester57]

They found he had a tree branch growing inside him.


It came from a stem cell.

 

[Jester57]

What role did the guy with the nosebleed play in the weightlifting competition?

Spoiler

He was a spotter.

 

[Jester57]

There was once an all-seagull version of Breaking Bad.

Spoiler

They called it “A Tern for the Worse”.

 

[Sally PB]

Picture this:

Dad, Mom, and Son are on a boat. Dad is painting the back of the boat, Mom is mixing more paint, and Son is throwing rocks at birds. Mendelssohn's violin concerto is on the CD player.

What pun can you possibly make out of that?

Dad is leaving no stern untoned.
Mom is leaving no tone unstirred.
Son is leaving no tern unstoned.
Isaac, the violinist, is leaving no tone un-Sterned.

 

[Jester57]

Why are trees always so unreliable in a relationship?

Spoiler

They have to leave in the spring.

 

[Jester57]

What do pots and pans say in the drying rack?

Spoiler

Not much; mostly they just dish on each other.