Dad Jokes😂

[Jester57]

Why did the mechanic get sent to jail for stealing a few tools?

Spoiler

He had plier convictions.

 

[Jester57]

A farmer used to make jokes while milking his cow.

Spoiler

So he was an udder fool.

 

[Jester57]

I don’t tell people I hunt mushrooms anymore.

Spoiler

Too many have questioned my morelity.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

I don’t tell people I hunt mushrooms anymore.

Spoiler

Too many have questioned my morelity.

I told my daughter that any mushroom can be eaten.
ONCE.

 

[Jester57]

Why did the duck decide not to have plastic surgery?

Spoiler

He thought the bill would be too large.

 

[Jester57]

Fun fact: ancient teachers, when discussing a very important idea, would repeatedly dip the sharpened end of their stylus in honey.

Spoiler

They felt it was necessary to belabor the point.

 

[Jester57]

Why don’t they use tennis matches to raise money for charity anymore?

Spoiler

Too much racketeering.

 

[Jester57]

A man once tried to sell me a broken protractor.


I never could figure out what his angle was.

 

[azurbanclucker]

A Velociraptor and a T-Rex are sitting in a bar. The raptor points at a Triceratops in the corner and asks "Why was he the first to get served?"

The T-Rex replied "Because he was herbivorous"

 

[Jester57]

When people are addicted to Twitter,

Spoiler

do they get help at tweetment centers?