Dad Jokes😂

[5Australorpasaures]

A little long......
Jeb and Zeke were debating who had the better coon hound, to prove it they met up at midnight to cut the hounds loose. Zeke lets ol' Blue loose and with in minutes he's on one bawling all through the woods, minutes later the bawling tune changes to "treed"
Jeb's up next and, cuts Tip loose. Again, with in minutes he's on one bawling to beat the band then dead silence. Zeke pipes up and says, well I guess I have the the better hound! Jeb, not being worried tells Zeke, give it a minute. Yep ol' tip breaks back into bawling his head off. Jeb turns to Zeke and says.......................Just as I spected, Tip was running on POSTED land!

 

[EuroChook]

I have two room-mates, one likes the toilet lid left open, the other one likes it closed. To avoid arguments, I leave the toilet lid at a 45 degree angle.

 

[Jester57]

In case there’s a zombie apocalypse and you’ve been taking brain supplements…



haven’t you been fertilizing their crop?

 

[EuroChook]

I went down the street just now, and there was a man and a dog. I asked the man "Does your dog bite?" The man answered, "No, my dog doesnt bite." So I bent down to pat him and next minute--boom! It tried to rip my arm off! I said to the man, "Hey! You said your dog didn't bite!" "I know I did," he said. "That's not my dog."

 

[Hayden Goseek]

When I was in Nursing School I took care of a patient who was a dyslexic, agnostic, insominac.

He would stay up all night wondering if there was a Dog.

 

[Jester57]

It appears that our world is trending towards an ever-increasing commercialization of human spirituality.

Eventually, it’ll lead to pay per déjà vu.

 

[EuroChook]

When I was in Nursing School I took care of a patient who was a dyslexic, agnostic, insominac.

He would stay up all night wondering if there was a Dog.

That was just perfect!

 

[EuroChook]

That was just perfect!

Haha you know, @Hayden Goseek I just told your joke to my aunt. She loved it. She worked with older folk for years. I also took no credit, I said it belonged to someone real cool from NOLA.

She once worked with an aged lady who used to sing that song... what's it called? Ummm... "tell em the yanks are coming the Yanks are coming..." (I believe its 'Over There' by Cohan). Every time the lady in question would wake up, she would sing or hum that on high repeat.

Haha oh the weird stories she could tell. Anyway, your joke hit the spot for her.

 

[EuroChook]

Oh oh! Sorry. A joke? Ummm... what's the worst thing about a colostomy bag? Finding shoes to match.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

I can't stand those creepy Russian dolls,

they're so full of themselves.