Depression?

[rIrs roost]

Anyone else struggle? Or am I the only one? Maybe you'd like to vent here? Please stay within the byc rules.

 

[andreanar]

IM sorry that a few of you have had a bad experience with some doctors. My doctor is just awesome. She has an anxiety disorder herself so she totally gets it. I have learned a technique called diaphragmatic breathing and Ill tell you it has saved me quite a few times.

 

[b.hromada]

Yep, I too suffer from depression. I'm taking medication, and it has helped me a lot. Before that, it was not good. Believe me, there are a lot of people out there like we are.

 

[rIrs roost]

I can relate to you all. I never knew it until recently that I've been through it almost my whole life. It's gotten worse since I can't work. Lots of pain just adds to it. I started this thread in hopes that we could help each other and just vent a little. I've recently started talking to someone about it. Some of the advise that she's given me just doesn't seem to help. But she has made me see things differently. But how am I suppose to make myself believe and have faith and confidence in myself? Some of the things that she's opened my eyes to just makes things worse. I know that she wasn't trying to make that happen but it did. I'm just tired of all the pain, feeling useless and feeling like no one believes me. She says that I should tell myself 200 to 400 times a day that I accept myself and that I'm just as good as anyone else. I've been trying to do that but how do you make yourself believe it? My self esteem has always been low. Now that I can't get around good and have so much pain, how do I build myself up when I was never able to do that when I was in better shape? I know that you shouldn't care what others think but I feel as though some think that I'm putting on or it's not as bad as I think it is. Does anyone else wish that you could put others in your body for a day just so they could what you deal with everyday? Then I think that there's those who feel that you're just feeling sorry for yourself. In my case that's totally not true. I just want everyone to understand. I loved my job. And 16 years ago when I first started it, I never thought that things would be the way they are now. Physically and emotionally I am beat down. Sorry for all of the negativity but this is the reason I started this thread. I just need to get things of my chest and thought that it may help someone else to know that they aren't the only ones out there like this. And maybe we can help each other through our tough times. Chatting and chickens seem to help some. Maybe someone has other things that they'd like to share that helps them get through the dark times that we share?

 

[drumstick diva]

I've been depressed most of my life but, didn't start treatment till I was 34( I'm almost 70). I don't think the meds would have been available way back when I was young. Also probably wouldn't have been prescribed for youngsters.

I've been on many meds that didn't work and some that just left with with a flat feeling.
I've been through most of the SSRI's - only one worked. I still get down & feel useless often but, not to the point where I stay like that for days at a time. With the state of the world in chaos, I guess it's natural to feel a lot of anxiety.

 

[andreanar]

I don't have depression, but I have panic disorder. Ive been on Paxil for years. It was gone for so long, then Wham...back it came with a vengeance about 6 months ago. I'm so aware of every change in my body, if I feel the slightest increase in my pulse..it can trigger an all out panic attack. When they come I have to talk myself out of going to the emergency room (I get convinced I'm having a heart attack). Ive gone to the ER a few times and felt like a fool afterwards, especially because I am a nurse. I take Xanax when I feel it coming on. I go weeks and weeks without one then will have 3 in one week. Last night was a bad one.

The worst thing for me is that I used to be such a strong, fearless person. Someone who could do anything. Now, I feel like I cant trust myself not to have a breakdown while I am out in public doing something I'm responsible to do.

No one understands, they say..just stop it, its all in your head. Well, no duh!! If I could stop it...I would! The attacks cause physical symptoms: racing heart, palpitations, chest pain, trouble getting breath, sweating, shaking. And those don't even describe what is going on in my mind...absolute terror that I'm going to die. Last night it was so bad, I said to myself, just die already, I cant stand the anticipation that it is going to happen.

I have 2 sphinx cats, and my 5 month old great dane/irish wolfhound and of course my chickens that tend to calm me.

I truly sympathize with you all. Have a happy and peaceful day to all of you.

 

[drumstick diva]

I am 70 now. Have been depressed most of my life but didn't know it. Family said I was just lazy or faking. Even though my sister had panic attacks and was depressed (I considered her the only normal one in the family, " her "symptoms were genuine. My problems were all in my head - DUH yes they were.

My father always blamed me for being the screwball in the family. He had severe anger issues. My mom had agoraphobia(we didn't know the name then) and panic attacks which she said were caused by her iron pills. . My sister's two daughters both had panic attacks. Gee I must have infected them - like chickens bringing Black head disease to turkeys.

Every one including family doctor said i should just "pull myself together," "think happy thoughts," and stop dragging everyone else down. At one point when my sister was having her acute depression, she said she couldn't talk to me because I depressed HER so much.

People don't WILL themselves to be depressed anymore than people choose to be diabetic, or have thyroid trouble.

 

[rIrs roost]

I suffer from anxiety and depression. I also have
Trichotillomania, a disorder caused by my anxiety. I take medicine everyday.

My anxiety and depression is from growing up with physical and mental abuse from my drug addict mother. My mother is now facing prison time for assault/attempted murder.

I went to court and was granted a Family Protection Order in June 2017. The county my mother is in didn't transport her for the trial because of the severity of her charges. My mother is still in criminal jail awaiting her trial this month.

I'm so sorry that you were put through this. No one deserves it. My father was abusive. Mentallty and physically. I tried to stop him from beating my mom when I was 3 or 4 years old. He started letting me drink when I was 8. Mom told me that he use to put beer in my baby bottles. Luckily she divorced him and re married my step father that treated me like his own. I still went to my dads on the weekends some though. He would tell me to do things that was dangerous. Looking back on it now I think he was hoping that some of the things that he told me to do would kill me. I guess that I'm fortunate to be as normal as I am now. I se to drink everyday. Always more than a case of beer a day. Did that for years. Thanks to God I quit in 2008. The only thing that I got from my dad that was good was a great work ethic and seeing what he put my mom through caused me to loose it if I seen a man hit a woman. It's been very hard to forgive him for things that he done. I'm still trying. For the most part I have. Only because my mom told me that I had to to make it into heaven.

 

[igorsMistress]

Hi everbody

I have anxiety and depression. Took something years ago that made me feel like a zombie so I quit taking medication. Then I took wellbutrin to quit smoking. Didn't quit but I felt great! Moods were stable, I could feel emotions but not so they were overwhelming. After a while I noticed I was becoming a serious B. I decided it was the medication and quit taking it.

I only watch the local morning news and keep my radio on the comedy channels in the car. If I think an email at work is going to make me mad, or that talking to a particular person will make me mad, I avoid it until I think I can handle it. Anger opens the door to a low mood that I eventually turn on myself or I end up despising the world and humanity in general.

I have never found a doc I ever felt cared or that I liked, but I've figured out some things that work for me usually, but sometimes I get so tired of dealing with it all.

Anyway, hope everyone has a good day.

 

[drumstick diva]

Before I got on medication, I realized how many years had gone by and my mind didn't recall anything about them. How can you not remember something? It's spooky to think about it.

The meds made a whole lot of difference. My son flew in to spend a week with me for my birthday - it was the best one I ever had, in 70 years. When I was younger and really suffering from depression I never thought I would be around this long. The secret is to keep breathing .