Depression?

[drumstick diva]

BYC has taken the place of my walks. I also get the "Jumbo word find" books at $ Tree and find that helps me calm down. I don't watch TV because the news stirs up a ton of anxiety.
Got a couple adult coloring books but, find the pens/markers whatever cost a lot more than I have to spend. Plus it's too much fine detail work - my vision isn't that great and my hands often get numb .....

 

[CapricornFarm]

So get kids coloring books and the thick type crayons. It is relaxing to color.

 

[Junochick]

BYC has taken the place of my walks. I also get the "Jumbo word find" books at $ Tree and find that helps me calm down. I don't watch TV because the news stirs up a ton of anxiety.
Got a couple adult coloring books but, find the pens/markers whatever cost a lot more than I have to spend. Plus it's too much fine detail work - my vision isn't that great and my hands often get numb .....

I have cheap readers and colored pencils for my coloring books , some adult and some with Winnie the Pooh.

 

[ChickenLady2014]

Anyone else struggle? Or am I the only one? Maybe you'd like to vent here? Please stay within the byc rules.

All the time Red, really struggling right now. I think it's time to talk to my doc about trying new meds. I want to be happy, but for some dumb reason I can't.

 

[CapricornFarm]

Yes, we all struggle. Life can throw so much at you and you just have to take it. I am on the max dose for my antidepressant. The doctor i had at the time added Abilify but it didn't seem to help me. Now the insurance company wants me to take a different form i have to take three times a day. That is not going to work for me.

 

[17 chickens]

I have been struggling with PTSD for years, Tried every medicine known, Hospitalized and several years of therapy. I found that if I sit and paint when I am having a really bad day helps me cope and spending time with my dogs and poultry. It doesn't have to be fancy it can even be stick figures it's just about the processing the thoughts. I have gotten so good that I sell my art work now all around the world. I do have days where I don't want to even get out of bed but I know my critters need me to take care of them and that gives me that push to keep going. Try it, It will help!

 

[Junochick]

All the time Red, really struggling right now. I think it's time to talk to my doc about trying new meds. I want to be happy, but for some dumb reason I can't.

When I feel real bad I let myself cry, then I remember I have a bunch of good things in my life. There are a lot of people that are doing worse than me. Also make the doctor appointment about trying something different. A good soak in the tub and a cup of hot tea feels good. Most important for me is talking to people. I'm not happy but at times I am content.

 

[CapricornFarm]

I used to paint, did ceramics, made quilts. All really good therapy.

 

[ChickenLady2014]

I can relate to you all. I never knew it until recently that I've been through it almost my whole life. It's gotten worse since I can't work. Lots of pain just adds to it. I started this thread in hopes that we could help each other and just vent a little. I've recently started talking to someone about it. Some of the advise that she's given me just doesn't seem to help. But she has made me see things differently. But how am I suppose to make myself believe and have faith and confidence in myself? Some of the things that she's opened my eyes to just makes things worse. I know that she wasn't trying to make that happen but it did. I'm just tired of all the pain, feeling useless and feeling like no one believes me. She says that I should tell myself 200 to 400 times a day that I accept myself and that I'm just as good as anyone else. I've been trying to do that but how do you make yourself believe it? My self esteem has always been low. Now that I can't get around good and have so much pain, how do I build myself up when I was never able to do that when I was in better shape? I know that you shouldn't care what others think but I feel as though some think that I'm putting on or it's not as bad as I think it is. Does anyone else wish that you could put others in your body for a day just so they could what you deal with everyday? Then I think that there's those who feel that you're just feeling sorry for yourself. In my case that's totally not true. I just want everyone to understand. I loved my job. And 16 years ago when I first started it, I never thought that things would be the way they are now. Physically and emotionally I am beat down. Sorry for all of the negativity but this is the reason I started this thread. I just need to get things of my chest and thought that it may help someone else to know that they aren't the only ones out there like this. And maybe we can help each other through our tough times. Chatting and chickens seem to help some. Maybe someone has other things that they'd like to share that helps them get through the dark times that we share?

So can relate Red, hubs doesn't understand depression so he hasn't a clue. He doesn't understand chronic pain either. He has no idea what it is like to hurt day in & day out. He's used to me being able to be superwoman, but I can't anymore. I get so frustrated with myself. I want to be physically like I was years ago before the back problems, but unfortunately I never will be again. I hate even admitting any of this stuff because I want to be tougher than that, feel like a big baby most days. This only makes the depression worse.

 

[ChickenLady2014]

When I feel real bad I let myself cry, then I remember I have a bunch of good things in my life. There are a lot of people that are doing worse than me. Also make the doctor appointment about trying something different. A good soak in the tub and a cup of hot tea feels good. Most important for me is talking to people. I'm not happy but at times I am content.

Thanks Junochick, I have my good days & bad days. Lately it's been more bad & I can't explain why.