Did you always know you wanted kids?

[cactus-hen]

How old are you? Depending on your age your bio clock might just be ticking loudly. My 26 y/o daughter is just now starting to consider the possibility of having kids. I wanted to be a Mom all my life. Had med problems and was told could never have any then was blessed with two. First was a surprise - not married but in stable relationship. We married then had a second. Together 30 yrs. Very few women are 100% sure they will be good moms. As for having kids with SO - kids DO NOT make a relationship easier or better. What ever problems you have now will be magnified ten-fold. Seriously consider whether you want to be tied to him forever. Good luck.

 

[Cluckin'Along]

Quote:
I just read your story Mandy,

for all you went through! Your story inspires me and parallels my own hopes and dreams in life. (chickens, go figure

) Thank you So much for sharing!

 

[mom'sfolly]

I have a childhood friend, who by 15 knew she did not want kids. She is now in her mid-forties and still childless by choice. Some people change, some don't. My friend also has possibly the world's most spoiled cats, with an indoor and an outdoor gameroom, and tunnels so the can go in and out when they choose.....

 

[willowtreecreek]

I never wanted kids! Never ever ever! Until about 6 months ago. Now it's all I think about. I am almost 32 so I guess it's that biological clock kicking in. My husband and I are trying to get pregnant with no luck yet. We have been together 10 years and I ABSOLUTLY adore him.

I don't think the real question you are asking really has anything to do with kids and I think you already know your answer.

 

[BellLisamo]

i always wanted kids. every since i was about 9. LOL! I loves to babysit, and it just came naturally that babies LOVED me. When i was 16, i had temporary custody of a 3 month old baby, that was my friends daughter. I took care of her about 80% of the time, when I didnt have to be in school. Then, when she turned 19 months, her mother shaped up and took care of her. @ age 20 i had my daughter. she was alot to handle, at that time i was working full time 8-5. Weekends was my free time with her. Now im 24 (happily married to my hubby of 2 years) and have a 18 month old son. Neither one of kids were planned. but its ok. We love them both the same, and wouldnt trade them for the world.

(YouR story reminds me of the movies "4 christmas's")

i would hope your SO would shape up and actually really really think this through...afterall something like this can make or break you.

Best wishes hun!!!

 

[DuckLady]

I never wanted to bring kids into the world. I didn't (and still don't) feel I would have been a good patient mother and for me, it is better to have no children than resented ones.

Now grown step kids...and grand kids...Bring them on!

 

[OverEggstended]

Perhaps I missed it somewhere... but might I ask how old you are? Or, more importantly, HIS age?

Fact of the matter is, guys take a while to "find themselves" and settle down and decide what they really want in life. MOST boys (I am sure I will get some replies stating how sexest I am... so be it!) have no clue what they really want to do with their lives until at least their mid 20's... and that is just carreer wise! In contrast, many high school girls already have their aspirations and college picked out by sophmore year in high school. Most girls follow through and are content with those choices. Men, OTOH will change carrers, sometimes drastically, an average of 4 times before age 30. By then, the girls are settled in the workplace and have probably started looking at what they want as far as family life by age 25.

IME, men do not really start even contemplating a family and lifelong goals until about age 34. If he is younger than that... I would not say that he is a lost cause. Younger than that and the odds are good that he will chage his mind anyway. Changing his mind and WANTING kids is good... deciding he does not want the ones he already has is bad. I would certainly prefer the possibility of the first option much more than the second!

As someone else stated, a great way to get interested in kids is being around some good ones. Especially 2-5 YO kids where guys are concered. Many guys are just not interested in babies... they really don't do much and are even a bit intimidating to many men. Toddlers are cute, active, love horseplay and watching SpongeBob... just like most men! LOL

Hope this helps a bit.

I am 36. My sweety is 30. I have a 14 yo. He took in a neighbor's kid 3 1/2 years ago that is now 17. The boy was troubled from the get go and the path has been rocky. Even so, my dearheart is now starting to talk about wanting one of his own. I never wanted kids until I had my daughter... she is my life. I am considering having another kid. I would love having a little one around the house. I was a single working mother when i had Taylor. This time I would be a stay-at-home-soccer-mom. I just dread needing a release from the nursing home to see my kid graduate college! LOL

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Ah Terrie, decisions like that are the right ones for the person! You did a good thing, and make a GREAT Gmom.

 

[chixie]

I have always wanted kids since I was really little... now they are teenagers i wonder why...lol

I wanted 7 like my grandma... stopped at 3 girls...now i thank god I can no longer have children... teenagers drive me nuts

 

[beerman]

I never wanted kids but got married and changed my mind. If I could do it all over I would NOT have kids. I love mine but would rather live alone.