Corks...Big corks be the answer. Before letting them out to roost, or fly...
cork them up. After flight, lead each cow over to the compost pile and
remove cork carefully.
What, no corks handy? Try tying a five gallon bucket under each tail.
Corks is not the right answer...
I know a guy (ole) that wanted to try corks..
He was afraid to pull the corks himself..
So he trained a monkey to pull the corks out.. It appeared the cattle did not like corks. Plus the guy figured pulling the corks after a week or two would be dirty work..... He worked with this monkey over and over pulling the corks... Ole put the corks in then give the monkey a banana for pulling the cork out..
The monkey did the cork pulling on command. It was really impressive. I was not sure of his plan but it made good sense. The manure would be wherever he had the monkey pull the cork.... The plan was to pull the cork in the garden to fertilize it.
Ole called me one day and said he was going with the plan.... "The cork is going in" Were his exact words...
About 2 weeks later I saw him and his Monkey at the local watering hole and asked him how it was going. He said he had not pulled the corks yet.. He was going to do it the next day.
It was a Sunday afternoon, I was sitting on deck sipping a Mike Hard lemonade and talking to the DW. All of a sudden we heard a terrible rumbling explosion.. My Wife is a nurse, so out here in the sticks the neighbors call for all kinds of weird medical help whether it be kids or animals.
The phone rang it was the guys wife she was frantic saying " Ole has been hurt come quick, I think he is dead!"..
We hurried and finished our Mikes and headed right over. ( I think we actually finished them on the way).... We got there and his wife was crying and sobbing in the back yard.. I asked her where Ole was... She pointed towards the garden. I ran to the garden, my wife was trying to calm the wife....
As I got there I saw Ole was not dead. I was so relieved, I grabbed a Mikes for him, (it was my Mikes for the trip home..)
I went over to Ole, he was covered in manure, he was bleeding and had welts everywhere. There was no monkey any where around, Which surprised me, as Ole took the Monkey everywhere and bragged about his cork pulling abilities.
Ole just pointed over his shoulder behind his self and mumbled something about "that way" He was really hard to understand. I thought he might have a concussion but I could not see his pupils. Mainly cause his eyes were covered in manure....
I wanted to see how his mind was working or if he had any memories. I asked him what happened.
He had no answer...
I asked him what was the last thing he remembers before waking up with me handing him the first Aid Mikes.
He sat straight up and said, " That was a smart little monkey"
I said " what's that that got to do with anything"
He said " I never taught him how to put the cork in"
I said Ole " concentrate, think, What's the last thing you remember?"
Ole got the look a person gets when their kid wins a spelling bee and says " That cute little guy scrambling like a son of a female dog to push that darn cork back in"."
So I am guessing you should not try the corks either. Ole has never been the same since the accident.