Do I have the right to be jealous?

[ChickensAreSweet]

It is hard sometimes when you have in-laws staying with you.

Give yourself a break. You have had company (which sounds like it has been a stress filled time). You can try to think positive thoughts. She won't be staying with you forever. Your husband needs to apologize to you.

Anyone snapping at you like that isn't your friend. Keep your guard up and try to forgive and forget. She will have a tough row to hoe as someone else said. Just try not to be too jealous.

If you want that baby then don't get worked up, IMO. Just keep hoping and try to treat yourself well. Get enough sleep and try to stay peaceful. Other folks will never stop doing things we don't like...and sometimes you just have to take your mind off other people's meanness.

It makes it REALLY difficult when they are LIVING with you, though. They are in your space. I hope she doesn't have to stay long.

So sorry this is happening to you.

 

[BorderKelpie]

Awww, that just bites.

I am so sorry.
Yes, your DH needs to know what he said hurt you, but, could he have snapped also because he is feeling hurt as well? It's no excuse, but it might be really bothering him too.

and the smoking part - sheesh! This from an avid smoker. As soon as I even thought I was pregnant, I stopped. Didn't pick it back up again until the girls were weaned. It's not that long a time, it really isn't. I, still to this day, will not smoke in the house. Now if I could just talk myself into giving it up all together.........................nah, not happening, at least not yet. Found out I can't have any more kids. That hurts. No where near as much as what you are experiencing. Again, I am sorry. You are allowed to feel jealous. It's a normal human thing. I will be wishing a praying that the pregnancy germ is contagious. I soooo want to hear that yu caught it, too.

 

[SourRoses]

You have every right to feel that way. There you are, doing your best to hold it in, and hubbie goes and throws your feelings out there, in the most negative manner possible, for everyone to see!
She's living in your house and begrudges you a few moments on the computer? And your hubbie wont let you on your shared computer? He needs a time-out. A check-up from the neck-up. Not to mention the whole thing makes it sound like they were having some private, gang-up on you, session.

I know how it is being around preggers semi-relatives, still smoking. "It's my body and my baby". Yeah, sure, go roll in some poop. Not sure about the poop thing, it just makes me feel better to imagine people covered in poop. First it's the smoking while they are pregnat.. then it's too far too walk to the baby's crib when it fusses or needs something, so they have to put the little infant in one of those semi-upright seats on the floor next to the chair they sit in all day (terrible for baby's back!).. then it's the mc'donalds everyday when it's a toddler, so the 5 year old now won't eat anything resembling healthy food. And all the way along, "It's my baby". Roll in poop. Please excuse my rant.

The other poster is right. When your baby comes along she/he will be adored & cared for in a way that this lady would not dream of.

 

[Cetawin]

Quote:
Indeed. I will air some of my private emotional moments because I believe they will bring some comfort...that is my hope.

I am 47 years old at present and blessed with a 26 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. However, the heartache of getting to this point is another matter.

I miscarried 7 times, losing 9 babies before my son and between he and my daughter. I cannot had begin to describe my despair. I watched friends and co-workers have great pregnancies and healthy babies like it was as easy as walking out the front door. I was jealous, resentful, hurt and angry with God. But I kept faith that I would have my 2 children...my boy and my girl. I was rewarded for that faith but paid a steep price...my health with the birth of my last child. I had one uneventful pregnancy and one nightmare one. My daughter was 8 weeks early via an Emergency c-section because the pregnancy was killing me. I had a stroke in labor, full renal failure and blood that would not clot. I knew I was dying and accepted that fact because my daughter was doing great...so I decided to sacrifice myself for her. I sign a do not resuscitate order, told them to get my daughter to the neo-natal doc, not to worry about me and went into surgery with both myself and the surgeon knowing I would die. I simply prayed before I went under..."If I am supposed to raise my daughter, see to it please that I survive all of this". Despite all odds...we both did...she weighed 2 pounds 10 ounces and was a healthy has a small pony...I was not. But I had life, her and a strong will.

Say your prayers and keep the faith...do not let bitterness, jealousy and envycome into your heart. There is always a price for such emotions. You may get what you want at a cost. Hand it over to God and let him take care of the rest. I know it is hard. If a child is supposed to come...you will receive it.

 

[Momto3]

Quote:
I dont want to say that I understand because I dont. I do want to say, "do not give up on your dream, one way or another the Lord will bless you with a miracle". I became a surrogate because I didnt want wonderful women like you to feel this pain. I delivered twin girls for a couple in Jan 2007 & am working on another journey. Please dont give up.

 

[ChickensAreSweet]

Quote:
Indeed. I will air some of my private emotional moments because I believe they will bring some comfort...that is my hope.

I am 47 years old at present and blessed with a 26 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. However, the heartache of getting to this point is another matter.

I miscarried 7 times, losing 9 babies before my son and between he and my daughter. I cannot had begin to describe my despair. I watched friends and co-workers have great pregnancies and healthy babies like it was as easy as walking out the front door. I was jealous, resentful, hurt and angry with God. But I kept faith that I would have my 2 children...my boy and my girl. I was rewarded for that faith but paid a steep price...my health with the birth of my last child. I had one uneventful pregnancy and one nightmare one. My daughter was 8 weeks early via an Emergency c-section because the pregnancy was killing me. I had a stroke in labor, full renal failure and blood that would not clot. I knew I was dying and accepted that fact because my daughter was doing great...so I decided to sacrifice myself for her. I sign a do not resuscitate order, told them to get my daughter to the neo-natal doc, not to worry about me and went into surgery with both myself and the surgeon knowing I would die. I simply prayed before I went under..."If I am supposed to raise my daughter, see to it please that I survive all of this". Despite all odds...we both did...she weighed 2 pounds 10 ounces and was a healthy has a small pony...I was not. But I had life, her and a strong will.

Say your prayers and keep the faith...do not let bitterness, jealousy and envycome into your heart. There is always a price for such emotions. You may get what you want at a cost. Hand it over to God and let him take care of the rest. I know it is hard. If a child is supposed to come...you will receive it.

What a wonderful post Cetawin.

Hugs to you for sharing your story.

 

[Mattemma]

Dh was foolish for what he said. FB seems to bring out these thoughtless comments. I am hoping you are blessed with a child soon. As for SIL I would probably find some way to get her moved out,because it will just get worse as her pregnancy progresses.Let someone else deal with her.

 

[country lady]

It sounds like a lot of immaturity in your house. Babies need mature adults and lots of TLC (and money).

 

[turney31]

You have every right to feel jealous.

Quit apologizing they were wrong. Tell them both if she continues to smoke that you will not watch it and she will have to go. Keep the faith and I will pray for a baby blessing for you.

momto3-

to you, that is the greatest gift that could possibly be bestowed.

 

[hollymh]

Quote:
I was thinking the SAME thing. I saw that "she went out to smoke" and thought WHOA WAIT WHAT????

X2