Do you ever secretly wonder if........

[Cindiloohoo]

So I have a question. I have read and considered all the responses, and agree most of these kids sound like normal, creative, happy, weirdo kids. Where is the line drawn between normal and not? My kid did most of these things too(still does), and I wanted to think it was normal. We only started to medicate because the child couldn't do her schoolwork without crying half the day, and was just dangerous. She has blown up 2 microwaves, because she "didn't remember" you don't put metal in there. Crossed the street without looking a million times because she "forgets." She runs out in the middle of busy parking lots etc. etc. It takes her a total of 3 seconds to forget any and everything. When I say NO FOCUS it's not an exaggeration! Numerous things a 10 yr. old kid should be "getting" but isn't. She's 12 now, and I believe she is only better due to the meds. No form of punishment/reprimand EVER helped her. The meds do, and I hate that she's on them, but love it at the same time. This is not simply to make a child easier to manage. I can manage her off the meds as long as I have nothing else in the world to do, and with homeschooling that's not quite possible. I totally understand the opposing POV bc that was how I felt too for a long time. I see the difference and do not think every kid should me medicated.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

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Oh it's totally normal. It's the age and the new baby in the house. Oh and it will last for a while. I can remember having to tell my two oldest (they are 17 months apart) at that age "no more playing donkey boy" with a shocked look on my face that I ever had to utter those words. Kids are a crack up.

 

[6chickens in St. Charles]

Having strange children is partly how we got chickens!

Maybe its related?

I am an RN since 1994 I have learned to meet each patient at their own individuality. Whether on meds or not, I do wish more patients had careful, respectful family around to support them. If your child is diagnose-able, you may find that treatment takes your family from nonfunctional to average, but many famous artists were completely nonfunctional, very disruptive children and later recognized as genius in their art.

That is my brightest hope, that all kids who are "different" get LOVE and PATIENCE and CARE from the people around them, to be recognized and affirmed in who they are/what they're here for. Maybe NORMAL is not the best goal for every kid? Some people are just special.

One word of warning: don't leave the helpless baby alone with the child who seems unaware of reality. She may not understand what is safe behavior for the baby, and should not be trusted the way you might trust an adult; she is only a kid, and perhaps somewhat limited in behavioual ability even for a kid. Better safe than sorry.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

That's partly how we got chickens too!! It has helped her alot with focus!! She absorbs every bit of information I feed her about chickens, and looks them up herself when she has the patience. It's awesome! I have to keep telling her not to throw them like a dart though when she puts them in at night...anybody else's kid do that?!?! We have a fenced run where they have access and she just picks them up and throws them over the fence...like throwing a dart? I dunno WHERE she gets some of her ideas!!

 

[CMV]

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In your particular case I would say that medication was warranted due to the safety issues you illustrated. I hope you do not feel that anyone is judging you harshly for medicating your child. You are her mother and you have to live with her and you are doing everything you feel is in her best interests. Nobody is (or should be) judging you for that. When I was a nurse I worked with children in their home environments and I learned one thing- You can't judge a man's life until you've walked a mile in his shoes.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Oh, gosh no! I wasn't trying to judge anyone here. I just thought y'all's kids sounded like really fun kids. I love super creative kids.

 

[crzychickenlady]

She is very creative and definately thinks outside the box. That's not the area that concerns me the most. Like another poster, she has issues remembering or retaining information. She doesn't think about her actions she just "does". She also cries alot at the smallest, silliest things and that disturbs me. She gets easily frustrated on her homework, I try to explain to her some math problems and she does fine for 3 or 4 problems, then its like you never explained it to her at all....I don't understand...She gets picked on in school as well for some of this.

She was diagnosed in the first grade and is now in the 4th, I didn't do anything about it thinking she would grow out of it. I thought like alot of people think, "they are just over dramatizing normal childhood behavior and are too eager to medicate her".

I myself have ADHD, I was pretty much the same when I was her age. My mom always told me "before you go and do or say something, take 30 seconds and think about it!"

It has gotten worse in other ways for me as I have gotten older and this is why I am considering taking her back to the doctor and having her tested again and seeing what options we have there. I have issues focusing on anything at all and have had a hard time functioning at work....when I was working.....I tended to get "yelled at" alot for not doing this right or screwing up. I don't want her to have to go thru the same things I go thru now as an adult!

I will definately ask about Aspbergers(sp) when I take her back as well. It's a hard choice for any parent to medicate a child....Who knows, maybe we BOTH need it, lol.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

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Well hold on for just a second CMV. Being that you worked as a nurse with children I'm sure you learned that proper diagnosis is of the utmost importance. You can't just read that and say yep medication is warranted without knowing what evaluations have taken place. I'm not saying that her child has Aspergers but I am saying that she should be evaluated and have it ruled out. With Aspergers there are many types of therapy that work without medication. It can take time and dedication but really what child doesn't. Also just so cindi knows that one of the reasons that people point out Aspergers is that it is very under diagnosed and alot of ADD/ADHD cases could very well be Aspergers but many doctors don't evaluate for Aspergers and are too quick to diagnose as ADD/ADHD and pass out prescriptions. It's definitely not judging cindi in any way. It's about having walked in those shoes.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Noooo, I wasn't offended at all!! I just feel like I have to clarify sometimes I guess. The in-laws are very judgemental and think I have overreacted and am incompetent with their grandkids (hard being step-mom sometimes). LOL! Well, I guess I am just used to defending it so much it's almost reflex. Sorry I didn't mean to make ya'll feel like that!! I love this forum, you folks are all so sweet!! Forgive me! I just really like to know what everyone else thinks too. It still worries me of whether I did do the right thing or not, such a delicate balance with kids. I HATE her being on meds believe it or not. Do any of you know what would be a good time to wean her off? I noticed several RN's in here... Puberty has been good for her, and I think she has settled down some just naturally. Thanks in advance for any ideas!! And again, sorry if I sounded offended

 

[6chickens in St. Charles]

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I agree! At the same time, The muscular dystrophy association gave us posters, "Everybody's Different, Nobody's Perfect". I realized it would be toooooo easy to totally focus on what's wrong, and hardly notice what is right with our child. Remember Stephen Hawking, the stellar physicist? He doesn't even have a body to sit or talk with, but he wrote the Big Bang Theory , how the universe got started. If all he ever focused on was the pain of his disease, he might never have come up with the "waaay out there" math to develop our world's current physics. It takes all kinds to make a world full of people.

Being a mom with this situation myself, I'm wary of overfocus on The Problem. When faced with problem behavior, I always hope I'm treating the problem, keeping us safe from harm, but not erasing the thing that makes us each an individual. Its a HARD balance to strike. Takes a lot of prayer, and patience, and forgiveness, and I pray a lot. I always fear; when I treat my child to bring him up to "normal", will I lose the special, individual person he is? I hope not.