do you let your infant cry themselves to sleep?

[Msbear]

Quote:
There is definitely something to this. When my son cries, I cannot focus on anything else... It makes me physically sick til I can get him to stop. I think this is absolutely some sort of mechanism designed by nature or God or whatever you believe in to keep moms attentive.

Crying it out is a hard thing to do and I believe, if you should choose to do this, it should be done when they are old enough to understand what is going on.. you're not going to keep coddling them and that they need to self-soothe. When I did this with Wyatt, he was 6 months and we went back and fourth in intervals so he knew we hadn't abandoned him. It was hard for the first few days but got better each day til a week and a half, when he was good to go. We co-slept until then and would have no problems continuing to do so but Wy-man likes to sleep sideways, kicking at mommy and daddy and we just couldn't sleep. Our house is so much for peaceful and content now that the little booger is in his own room. Every once in a while he sleeps with us on the weekends but it's right back to the routine the next day.

We had to sleep with him on our chest too when he was little like yours. We also walked him around for hours upon hours at night time after each feeding.. (on the boob every hour!!) We got no sleep for 2 months and we were both extremely stressed out. We eventually figured out to wedge his mattress so it was a bit vertical and roll towels up and tuck them on both sides to keep him snuggled up.. and burrito roll him in a light blanket. He felt more secure confined and digested his hourly meals better vertical. Hope this helps. It saved us

 

[PotterWatch]

I have let both my kids cio, but when they were old enough to understand what they were supposed to be doing; somewhere between six months- one year. If I didn't let my youngest cio, I would never have gotten any sleep. That child cried from the minute he was born until he was about three and a half. I would not let a baby less than at least 4mos cio though.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I have to agree with everyone who says don't let them cry it out. There is also a wonderful feedback loop when you nurse that sends calming hormones to mommy. I wouldn't be too surprised to hear that just holding a contented baby feeds these hormones. Mine didn't co-sleep, but where in a bassinet in our room for the first 4-6 months. It was perfect to have them so close, especially with the first one because I had horrible nightmares about every bad thing that could happen to a baby. If I hadn't been able to touch him, I would have completely freaked out.

With your mom, just nod your head and say "I'll think about what you said" and go on doing what you think is right. You haven't lied, your mom feels like she is getting to share her parenting experience, and you get to go on doing what you are doing.

 

[wildorchid053]

i had my babies 31 yrs ago.. and they both slept with us and when i nursed or fed them it was in bed with us.. no we never rolled over on them .. no they were never suffocated.. and to this day they are healthy .. still snuggly kids.. even my grandbabies sleep over.. ages 4 and 7 and hop into the bed with us to sleep... the bed is part of our lives.. we watch tv.. eat pizza and all group together to watch movies.. even my son in law.. took him a few times before he actually leaned up against the wall and took part of the bed.. but i never felt the need to let my babies cry to sleep.. my daughters crib was in our room till she was 12 mos.. we are a very close and loving family.. best friends...you do what you feel is good for you and to heck with all the info.. my mother scolded me because i nursed my daughter till she was almost 2 but i told her it was my way and my time to be close with my children and to never mention it again..she never did.. your way is the perfect way for you..

 

[pokey]

well, i tried putting her in her crib last night after a few minutes of trying to get her to go back to sleep by rocking her. she will eventually go back to sleep, but at night she is wide awake and fidgetity. it did not work, she cried most of the night(we have a mobile w/ light and noise)and i listened to the baby monitor. tonight i am going to start giving her a bath, as her umbilical cord fell off this am, so maybe that will help to. dh said he got about 30 min of sleep because i was not in the bed beside him( i slept on couch near baby room)

i'd kick him, but i know he has to go to work during the day. oh well, i will keep trying tonight, wish me luck.

 

[MikkeyP]

We could never let our children cry themselves to sleep either. Of course I nursed all my kids....well over a year. and they ended up sleeping with us. I'm sure it saved two of them from dying at least once!!! I always knew immediately if something was wrong with them, by their breathing or lack of it. Once, my daughter coughed up a fistful of phlem...I didnt' even think that much could fit down a child that size!!!! If we wanted to do other things, we simply moved them or moved ourselves to another room. We always joked that the crib was a "catch-all " for everything but the baby.
Do what YOU feel is right. They are only little once.
Congratulations!!!

 

[pokey]

i am afraid to put her in bed w/ us. dh is a BIG guy and dead to the world when he is asleep so he wouldn't know if he rolled over on her or did something otherwise harmful. as soon as she can focus her eyes i am going to get her one of those mats w/ the toys to give her some stimulation during the day. maybe that will help too. i guess til then its grandmommie to the rescue to let me nap and catch up, and just patience.

 

[klf73]

We have done this 6 times so far (growing #7 right now

) and we have never let any of our children cry when they are that small. My mother still gives me a hard time and I still ignore her. Dh and myself stress horribly when they are upset. I don't let them cry until after 6 months. Congrats

 

[verlaj]

No - I would never let my babies cry themselves to sleep! I am quite sure when a baby cries, it needs something. It may be hungry, frightened, wet, in pain, overtired, or just needs to be held. I do not believe that an infant CAN be spoiled. Babies are not manipulative. We expected a lot of our children when they got older, but not as infants! My 3 children are now responsible, independent adults.

 

[Beekissed]

Yep, babies can be spoiled and they can be manipulative. They learn very quickly how to get a prescribed response from adults. You and only you can determine if a child is pulling your leg on the crying thingy. When they are wee little, its just all sensory...hunger, discomfort, etc.

A little older and they've learned that they can get more attention if they cry. You'll learn to tell the difference and then you can choose to be manipulated and pick them up each time to just get them to shut up, or you can put your foot down and let them know that crying to just get up or to entertain theirselves is not appropriate.

Its all in just how tired you want to be.

And, no, it won't scar them emotionally to cry themselves to sleep.