Do you treat people like you want to be treated?

[PlymouthRocker]

My husband and I are teaching our daughter to treat people like she wants to be treated. This includes, but is not limited to:

1. Saying she's sorry in a humble tone
2. Using good manners
3. Not using words like "shut up" or "stupid" or "I hate . . ."
4. Being honest and respectful to everyone
5. Taking turns and being patient
6. Not being wasteful
7. Speaking the truth in love - - - - just because it's true doesn't mean you have to tell the world the "ugly" truth

She's willing to listen to us, but is frustrated that she seems to have parents with higher standards than other parents. I agree with her that it's hard when someone says something vile to her that it's not right, but that doesn't give her a reason to take revenge.

It seems to me that people are getting ruder and meaner both in person and on message boards. On Facebook there's a way to say "DISLIKE" when someone posts to their status. Excuse me?? Why should anyone feel compelled to say "DISLIKE" when someone posts they've just finished their homework or going to the grocery store? If you don't like it, don't say anything!

I'm active on several message boards and cannot believe how people derail threads with "I can't believe you are so stupid . . ." and "I hate . . . ." Would you like it if someone posted that about you? If not, don't post it yourself.

And edit what you say that's TRUE. It might be TRUE that someone made a stupid mistake or their dog is ugly, but is it NICE to rub their nose in it? No.

A final note: I've noticed more and more that if my values or opinions are stricter than other people's, they think I'm an idiot and if they are looser than others that I'm a moron. Many people think they are the standard of values and opinions. These polarizing positions make for ugly conversations.

 

[horsejody]

Don't worry that other parents are more lenient. It's not that your standards are too high. Theirs are too low. I taught my kids to be respectful and always made sure that they knew that we had high expectations for their behavior. They ended up being great adults. My son even called me once to say thanks for not raising him to be an idiot. He was in a Marine Corps barracks and was just assigned a new roommate. He said, "I look at this guy and think of the idiot I could have become if I hadn't been brought up the way I was."

 

[Beekissed]

You are doing the right thing, never fear. One day you will be hearing a lot of folks, teachers and other parents, telling you how "polite" and "nice" your child is. I get it all the time and it never ceases to amaze me that these traits are so remarkable that folks notice them and comment on them. I've always thought that good, mannerly behavior was supposed to be standard issue behavior.

And, yes, I try to always treat folks like I would like to be treated....it's one of those bread on the water kind of things. It really will come back to you if you are mean to people.

 

[HEChicken]

Quote:
There is? I've only ever seen an option to "Like" a post. There are several groups on Facebook that are proponents of introducting a Dislike option, but to my knowledge, the Facebook team has not yet done this.

 

[Goose and Fig]

We try to teach our kids tolerance, respect, patience, and equal rights for EVERYONE. They know that if I ever hear a "slur" or disrespect come out of their mouth toward anyone, they'll be losing some teeth.

I am guilty, however, of expressing my disgust for intolerant, racist, prejudiced people. The best we can do is lead by example. You can bet- if your kids grow up in a racists home, they will be the same way. If they grow up in a loving tolerant home, you have nothing to worry about. And you might just have a future UN ambassador in the family

 

[CTChick]

The problem is that people believe they are raising children ... they've got it backwards. They come IN as children - but you are raising adults! When your offspring is 18, they better NOT still be a child! I have four kids, ages 16-5 and they are always welcome whereever they go because they are respectful, kind and all-around good kids. And not to be cliche, but the saying "The tail doesn't wag the dog" applies as well. The parent is the boss. I listen, sympathize and help when I can - but I let them do a lot of problem-solving on their own. I hold them - not their peers, TV or teachers - accountable when things go wrong. And in the end, what I say goes.

There - that's my two cents! Oh - I don't drink, do drugs or swear excessively. They know I pray and look to the Divine for guidance and to give thanks. Lots of fresh air, good healthy food, and exercise. I'm divorced, but try to not bad talk their father (they can figure it out on their own!). Children learn what they live - and from the example set by their parents.

I had a friend who lost a 6 year old to leukemia - and am grateful every single day that my kids are healthy.

Laura

 

[PlymouthRocker]

Quote:
There is? I've only ever seen an option to "Like" a post. There are several groups on Facebook that are proponents of introducting a Dislike option, but to my knowledge, the Facebook team has not yet done this.

You can now download external software to do this, yes. I've seen the groups asking for the Dislike button, and now they are joining the group to get this software out there.

 

[PlymouthRocker]

Quote:
People tell me all the time what great manners she has and how helpful she is. And I hear this more when she's with other people - like she's on better behavior then when she's with me.

 

[PlymouthRocker]

Quote:
Last year I started telling my daughter: "I am your mother. You are a gift from God to me and Daddy and He asks that we teach you a few things. First, He wants us to teach you to love Him. Then, He wants us to teach you to be a responsible person. Lastly, as your mom, I am to teach you how to be a young lady. Daddy can teach you manners, but he can't teach you how to be a young lady because he's never been one."

When she asks, "Why do I have to . . . " - I gently remind her it's my job to teach her how to do it.

Sometimes, every now and then, she says, "Mom, you are doing such a great job teaching me to be a young lady!" I'm just teaching her about modesty and how to be a good friend and how to take care of her personal hygiene, but she sees girls older than her that don't know these things and she's grateful for me.

It's hard being a parent, but it's so rewarding.

 

[Beekissed]

Quote:
I agree and I like your two cents! They match up with mine.....