Do your kids have chores?

[HorseFeathers]

Quote:
Thank you! Tell SeaChick- she's my mom!

 

[Rosalind]

The rule when I was growing up was, you have X amount of household chores that are "normal": making bed, cleaning up after oneself, minding my own garden, doing own laundry, cooking own food--my mom didn't cook. My solution for dishes, as a kid, was using paper towels for most things that couldn't be eaten from a mug. I don't think I scrubbed a whole lot of toilets, as toilet cleaner was considered a Dangerous Chemical, but I do remember cleaning sinks and countertops, and dusting quite a bit. Then if I wanted money, I did extra chores, such as washing cars or shoveling snow, raking leaves.

I knew all the other kids got allowances, but all the other kids' moms also cooked dinner for them, didn't work full-time, and were into the PTA/Scout leader thing. Eventually I accepted that my mother was different and that's all there was to it.

Two chore-related things I still think were excessive, and not a good way to grow up: The cooking thing, you really should cook for your kids, even if they help in some way, it wasn't fair to grow up on PB&J and bologna until I was old enough to use the stove. Also, my mother wasn't into clothes shopping for me. It wasn't a money issue, she just wasn't interested. Her reasoning was that I would learn the value of a dollar and not wear out my clothes so fast if I bought them myself. But you know, kids grow fast even if they take good care of their clothes. So I used a lot of my earned money to buy clothes, and I wore a lot of hand-me-downs from cousins and friends. I really think my mother should've picked up the tab for clothes and let me spend my own money on kid stuff. I know in the adult world, no one's buying you clothes, especially not the t-shirt that you reeeeaaaaalllllyyyy waaaaant Mooooom! but kids aren't mini-adults.

 

[HorseFeathers]

Quote:
Well said

 

[MRNpoultry]

Hey

I have chores, mow our two acres, take the garbage out, clean my room, take care of the garden, and various other stuff. I don't get any money for doing my chores, but I really don't mind doing chore's. I think you shouldn't have to be paid for stuff that has to be done.

I just turned old enough to start working. I do yard work for people. I run my breeding farm now, and have a total of three different breeds right now. And might start working cleaning tables at a barbeque restaurant, twice a week.

May I repeat once more: whatever you do, DON"T use a List.

We use to have a work list to. I didn't really like having a list.

When I did good on my report card we would go out to eat or I could get more chickens.

Hope this helps

 

[max13077]

I see it everyday teaching. Kids that I’m teaching now(6-7th) are going to be screwed when they graduate. 95% of them wouldn’t know how to work or entertain themselves if their lives depended on it; and wouldn't do it even if they knew. They haven’t had to work for anything. Their parents hand them whatever they want on a silver patter. The sense of entitlement they maintain is appalling. If they want it, they feel they should get it. No ifs, ands, or buts.

 

[MoonbeamQueen]

Our daughter has always had chores, depending on her age and ability. When really little, she dressed herself, fed her cat, set the table. As she got older she did dishes, vacuumed, took out the trash. We've given allowance off and on over the years according to our budget, extra good work and attitude from her, etc. Kids need a little money to be able to learn financial responsibility also. How to spend, save, and share. I've always told her that we all live here, so we all chip in to make the home and yard a clean and pleasant place for all of us and any guests we have. Now I'm going off topic a bit..we had a pretty rough time with her through high school...bad friends, bad grades, drugs, alcohol, shop-lifting, runaway, etc. Over a year ago she called and asked if she could come home. Given the history we laid down some very firm rules. She came home understanding that life is not a free ride. Now at age 19, she's clean and sober, she works full-time, continues to help out with a lot of the household chores, contributes to the gas fund as we ride to work together (I'm a nurse, she's a nurses aide, and we work the same schedule), pays a bit of rent and purchases some groceries. She also pays to have her dog groomed (one of the 6 we have), as well as any food or vet expenses for her dog and her cat. She buys her all her own clothes and pays for her share of the cell phone bill. She even pays for her own ortho appointments. She does not hang out with her old 'friends' but has made new ones through work. She has a nice young man in the Navy and she has plans to start her nursing prerequisites down at the junior college. Back to topic...I believe unpaid chores are an important step in developing responsibility and social accountability. If kids refuse to help out, put a stop to the little perks in their lives (rides to friends, TV-time, etc..). It's a great motivator!

 

[Beekissed]

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I would have to agree with you. I find it odd that folks who don't expect their kids to work at every day chores, suddenly expect them to develop a new attitude when they grow up and start fending for themselves. Then they come to work and complain about their kids and, somehow, don't get the correlation between buying him a new car when he turned 16, and the person he has become today....standing with his hand out and giving you grief if you don't fill it!

I'm sure, in the school system, you get to see the results of children raised with no expectations more than do we!

 

[greenthumb89]

im 18 and ive never gotten an allowance, i still had chores to do, every weekend we used to clean the house (we as in my 3 siblings and I) but after the older ones started to move out, im the youngest, the more that my parents would depend on me and when both my parents would work and they would come home to a clean kitchen with dishes done, fridge cleaned, etc i could usually get 5 bucks from them for doing it, it wasnt everytime just periodically and they were always willing to give me money for movies and things like that as long as i worked for it before or after the event happened. but as soon as i got a job and earned my own money they stopped that so no matter what i can get money either way i worked for my money. so every other kid i knew was getting an allowance but i really dont see the point of it. i always felt better when i worked for what i had and felt bad when my parents would give me money for anything

 

[key west chick]

My son, 13 in 2 weeks helps when I need him to.Does the trash, dishwasher, and brings me his laundry. Sometimes I pay him a few dollars to feed my manimals if I'm running late in the morning. He gets allowance from my parents and has learned how to save if theres something he wants.

 

[erthymom2]

since my boys were old enough to know/understand what money was - thats was about 6 yrs old. - they have gotten 1/2 their age in allowance every week.
They have a chore chart and the list swaps back and forth between them each sunday: it's either a black week or a red week. if its black week - you do the chores your brother had last week and he does the chores you had.

they have always had extra chores if they wanted to earn extra, and NO LOANS for chores not done.
Yes, we've had our share of fights about what week it is and who didn't do what....but this was never an option, it was/is an expectation.

On the fun side, we had alot of "just because" thing - icecream sundaes for breakfast, stayed out late bowling, birthday cakes for no reason, small treats hidden in places they'd find thru their day etc....just things we did to surprise them and make life fun.

as a side - whenever they got too big for their Oshkoshes, roudy,mouthy,rebellious, etc. they went into "Boot Camp" for a few days: no extra nothin!!!! no video games,early beds,extra chores with no payments, mandatory quiet time with no electronics or computer.

call me mean, over-controlling or whatever - but having worked in corrections for a time, i've seen the worst that no structure and no caring for kids can do.