@Fishkeeper, I love your youthful optimism on relationships and marriage. Maybe the younger generation has better expectations from their partners. But, since you asked so many questions, I will attempt to answer them from my point of view....
"If you're unhappy with how much space you get to work in, (not unhappy, just need to "borrow" a little space in the bathroom for a few months this winter)
and you're hiding something from her because you think or know it's going to make her unhappy, (the thought of her letting me do this would bother her more than me)
I'm not so sure things are working out well for you. (Well, maybe, but then it has not worked out well for us for 31+ of marriage).
Two reasonable adults should be able to come to a solution that would leave both parties satisfied. (I never said we were reasonable adults, I only stated we were married).
Think of it this way: is she going to be more upset if you politely ask her if you can grow chicken feed in the bathroom, (Yes)
or when she finds out that you've hidden something from her because you think she's going to be unreasonable about it? (She will probably be upset, but if I am forced to remove the fodder tower, then she will consider it a win for her and be even more happy as she put me back in my place.)
Would you like to have her hiding things from you instead of asking you about them?" (Oh goodness, that happens all the time and I pretend not to notice.)
So, there it is. If/when I get caught in this transgression, I now have a list of excuses to offer thanks to the feedback from the good people here on BYC forums. In the end, if the excuses fail me (most likely), I will have to tote the fodder tower back out into the garage and it will probably cost me a make up dinner date with the wife at our favorite restaurant. Another win for her. That will make her happy.
And I will be forgiven until my next nefarious caper.....
(Subject to edit if I get found out on this project.)
