I used to be a chef (now stay at home mom and chicken/sheep/rabbit/dog raiser), and one of the things I had to do occasionally was go out to the dining room and speak to people who asked to see me, usually to give complaints or comments. One day, I got the following question:
"Oh, you are the chef?"
in my head: "What gave it away, the white coat, the apron, or the hat?"
what I said: "Yes, I am the chef, how do you like our food this evening?"
It's great, but my wife and I were wondering if you could tell us how to make chicken nuggets that taste just like McDonalds?"
in my head: "Sure, you just take a very very sharp boning knife, and carve out your soul, then you take a whole chicken, beak, feathers and all, and stick it in a giant blender with some texturized vegetable protein.....No, no I can't tell you how to...People are trying to eat here!.... OMG, give me back the wonderful food i just made for you, it is too good for you!"
What I said: "Ah, I believe it is a secret recipe, I am sorry about that."