Fake positivity free zone

[sourland]

Because it's false.

Most people carry their own bag of crap over their shoulders. They can keep it as an excuse for failure if that's their choice. I have mine. I keep it and look in there every now and then to remind myself of the place that I do not want to return to.

 

[CarpCharacin]

Most people carry their own bag of crap over their shoulders. They can keep it as an excuse for failure if that's their choice. I have mine. I keep it and look in there every now and then to remind myself of the place that I do not want to return to.

General trends usually aren't categorically true, and this one is no different. Choice varies between people. There are people who are lonely yet can't maintain friendships with others regardless of how hard they try, and regardless of how much of a choice they think they have. There are people who want nothing more than to achieve things, sometimes things that most people would consider trivial, yet are unable to. The list goes on, which is why I don't think that blame should automatically be assigned. If someone is facing an obstacle that they'd have a decent chance of getting over, they should be pushed to try. But there's no use in blaming people who objectively have a miniscule chance of success due to things they have no control over.

 

[sourland]

General trends usually aren't categorically true, and this one is no different. Choice varies between people. There are people who are lonely yet can't maintain friendships with others regardless of how hard they try, and regardless of how much of a choice they think they have. There are people who want nothing more than to achieve things, sometimes things that most people would consider trivial, yet are unable to. The list goes on, which is why I don't think that blame should automatically be assigned. If someone is facing an obstacle that they'd have a decent chance of getting over, they should be pushed to try. But there's no use in blaming people who objectively have a miniscule chance of success due to things they have no control over.

And there are those who overcome and can say I am proud of myself, and I like the person that I have become. Excuses are just that.

 

[CarpCharacin]

Another point is that there are many things the vast majority of people will never achieve. If one really wants to but is unable, it often causes distress, and they are more likely to get over that distress if others give them realistic feedback rather than keeping false hope alive.

 

[sourland]

Another point is that there are many things the vast majority of people will never achieve. If one really wants to but is unable, it often causes distress, and they are more likely to get over that distress if others give them realistic feedback rather than keeping false hope alive.

This I agree with 100%. Self acceptance is the greatest gift that one can give oneself. That and learning to depend upon self opinion rather than that of others - well meaning as they may be.

 

[Ursuline Chick]

serviam, please look it up and put it into action, you may just find it changes your life for the better.
Rather than obsessing over things you can't change and feeling sorry for yourself.

 

[CarpCharacin]

I'll definitely encourage someone to try something of I think they're capable, but I won't if I don't, even though that is likely to come at the expense of temporarily making them feel better. I also tend to feel sorry for people who usually aren't given pity, because not everyone seen as "bad" by society chose to be that way.

Anyway, I really just started this thread with the intention of giving people a place that's free of the two types of BS I outlined earlier, where they can vent if they wish.

 

[Ursuline Chick]

Did you even look up the word, far cry from BS. We live in a free country, you can continue to live an unhappy life if that is your choice. Some of us were taught to live serviam and should not be berated for their beliefs, just as you claim in your opening, no one should be berated for their beliefs. People have a choice to moan and berate their lives or try to make the best they can of what cards they were dealt.

 

[Smileybans]

My husband suffers from schizoaffective disorder. Is that relevant here? I believe so. When he’s down there’s no pulling him out and the positivity of others actually makes it worse. He has to overcome his demons himself. Someone telling him “its going to be okay, just be positive, every day is special” and so on makes it worse. Does he need to hear the truth when he’s down and manic? Yes. Otherwise the voices, the ones the megication doesn’t drown out, overcome him. For people with mental disorders, even severe anxiety, giving false positivity can be detrimental. Not always and not in every case. But you never know.

 

[CarpCharacin]

Did you even look up the word, far cry from BS. We live in a free country, you can continue to live an unhappy life if that is your choice. Some of us were taught to live serviam and should not be berated for their beliefs, just as you claim in your opening, no one should be berated for their beliefs. People have a choice to moan and berate their lives or try to make the best they can of what cards they were dealt.

Yes, I did, and I wasn't specifically responding to your post. I don't think that it's fair to berate people for things that they have no control over, but doing so seems to be part of human nature, so it seems like somewhat of a paradox. I have personally put a lot of effort into improving my situation. Much of the time it feels pointless, but only additional time will reveal if it really is.