Families all living together these days

[WriterofWords]

I turned 18 May 24, graduated May 27, was in basic training June 2, I couldn't wait to get out. My Grandparents told me if I ever needed to come home the door was open but I was coming back as an adult, I would be expected to pull my weight. Family takes care of family period. Now if you have bums that want to live off of you, that's different.
I own several acres and my parents used to live across the street. They sold the house and bought a motorhome that they set up on my place when they are here, they landscaped about 1/3 of an acre for it. My brother and his wife and kids live on the two acres next to me. One son 20 is a bum, the other one 21 is great and helps out with everything.
It's depends on how you look it I guess and how your family situation is.

 

[Redfeathers]

Thank you everyone, I do appreciate all the input. Both my boys do have a job, the oldest that is moving back in is self employed as a graphics designer, so he will be working all day from here, but I have a back room that is big enough for him to use as a bedroom/office. The 20 year old that still lives here already does pay rent and is a huge help around here, I honestly don't know what I would do without him. I just stew about the whole "gotta be self sufficient" thing with them at their age. I think if they did make better money then they would be out of the house on their own, but with the price of EVERYTHING these days it's pretty hard on them. I certainly don't mind them being here as long as we all get our privacy when we need it and they don't eat all the cookies.

 

[sundance]

my DH and I are both 71 and in poor health, so we have children and grandchildren living near us, but we live in our own place just the two of us< let me rephrase that, me DH and 4 dogs> but I could never live with one of my children, I had rather live in an assisted living facility than live with any one of my 4 children, I love them but they have their ways of doing things and I am set in mine.Some dust bunnies have moved in since I can no longer vacumn as often as I would like, but as long as we are happy, I don't worry about anyone else.Also by now all the kids have learned that mama is stubborn as a rock, so leave her alone, if she needs help she will ask for it.

marrie

 

[amyquilt]

I, too, think it's great, as long as they contribute to EVERYTHING (bills and work).

I have a 20yo dd and I can tell you now, she'll never live with us again. She did for about 3 months just over a year ago and she is a total sponge. She's having a tough time now, but I know her ways and dh has refused to ever let her live with us again.

 

[ailsaek]

DH & I are in our mid-40s. We're getting prepared for my mom to move in with us. It may not happen this winter, but I'm expecting it will happen within the next few years. My DD is 21 and shared an apartment with my brother, which seems to be working out great for both of them. My brother's roommate before my daughter was our youngest sister, who has now gone off to college to get her BA (at 38), and before my sister lived with my brother, she & I were roommates for a number of years. I'm not expecting my daughter or my sister to be moving in with us any time soon, but they both know they're welcome if it comes down to it, and if we ever get to building that house DH & I keep talking about on our land up in northern Maine, we'll be building with an eye to having room to take in family as necessary.

 

[Nuggetsowner:)]

Due to a difficult family situation I moved out of the house at the age of 16 and have been on my own ever since. I now have 3 boys one of whom is older than I was when I left home. I encourage him to do his own thing, work hard, contribute to our household in as many ways as he can. I know how hard it can be to be on your own and I say let your boys stay as long as they are good contributers to your family. This may mean different things to everyone but as long as it works for you then its OK!!

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

The one "multi family" on our street is owned and lived in by several generations of one family. From great grandma to great grand daughter! I have to admit that I am slightly jealous of them.

I do think, that as the economy worsens and the cost of living gets higher. That more and more families will be doing this.

My husband and I have discussed it several times. Selling this place and moving in with my mom. She could honestly use the help around the house and with bills. And I would love to just not live where I am. The city is rapidly sliding into becoming nothing but despair. Doesnt help when the police are being charged with rape and the city treasurer, who died last fall. Was embezzling money.

They found over grand in a desk draw

 

[BeardedChick]

I agree that the adult kids should contribute toward everything. It's important for them to learn to budget their money and time for running their own household someday, and they won't learn that by mooching.

DH and I live in an extended family household (not our house). We chose to do it rather than build our own house because we could help out family members who were not able to take care of the family house anymore, and we were going to eventually inherit the house someday anyway. We do as much as we can. We pay for all the big house repairs - new roof, stucco, plumbing, etc.- the common electric and water bill, property taxes, house insurance, mow the lawn, fix the fences, take care of the elderly family members in the house, etc.

 

[Dixiedoodle]

With many families (cultures) it's a way of life -to have several gerenations living under one roof.

But it's not for me or dh. From time to time we have had family living with us and it was fine for a few weeks but it gets 'old' quick..No matter how long someone lives with me I still feel like they are guests and I end up feeling exhausted and wanting my privacy. If you had separate sleeping/living/kitchen areas it would work but IMHO--no house is large enough for more than one family...

 

[purr]

my DD and her husband 2 kids and one on the way live in the worst part of the city.She gets harassed just going to her car.

If I had enough property or a bigger house they would all be living here.My son-in-law works all the time asks for overtime. But in this day and age 2 people need to work to afford a mortgage and the kids are little so if she got daycare her pay would just cover it.
on the other hand if my son-in-law would watch the kids at night while she worked that would be awesome , unfortunately that would interfere with his raiding (world of warcraft) schedule.

So I say if it works for you , go for it.My DH's family all live within 2 miles of us and I love it.
But I love them so it's a good thing.