Fattie's big fat RANT

[Matthew3590]

Has he ever tried to approach you bout your weight before?

 

[redhen]

I think your new screen name should be "Jackwagons Wife"

 

[debilorrah]

Has he ever tried to approach you bout your weight before?

Even he had, there is no room in anyone's life to be called a fata** by your spouse. None at all.

 

[Funky Feathers]

At the time I would have loved for that cat in Debi's avatar to scratch his eyes out. Maybe if he can't see me he can't judge me. Like he has any place to, he is just as fat. And I NEVER say anything bad about him or his appearance, I have more scruples than that. I don't judge people, in public or otherwise. This has been a bad start to a new year.

 

[epeloquin]

I hope that my response to this is unique in two ways.

1) I am a man

2) I am a minister, I have been to school for counseling and have done lots and lots of marital counseling.

If you and your hubby were sitting in my office I would first reprimand him for being shamefully mean spirited and rude.

That being said, there has been a lot of BAD advice given to you in this thread. You said that you gained weight in '08 and married in '09. That tells me that

he loves you for who you are. But let me share a book title that will really help you.

It is called For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn. This book is excellent and I think it will help you and your hubby immensely. There is also a companion book entitled For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by the same author with her hubby. They are brief but excellent books and will help you immensley. I hope you'll give them a shot before some of the bad advice in this thread.

Here is the Amazon link...

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_s...ti+feldhahn&sprefix=for+women,aps,281&x=0&y=0

 

[debilorrah]

At the time I would have loved for that cat in Debi's avatar to scratch his eyes out. Maybe if he can't see me he can't judge me. Like he has any place to, he is just as fat. And I NEVER say anything bad about him or his appearance, I have more scruples than that. I don't judge people, in public or otherwise. This has been a bad start to a new year.

I am fat. Ken is fat. Neither of us ever say a WORD about our fat!!! Steph I am sooooo sorry you are dealing with this now. All I can really say is DO NOT ACCEPT THAT BEHAVIOR!!!!!

 

[debilorrah]

I hope that my response to this is unique in two ways.

1) I am a man

2) I am a minister, I have been to school for counseling and have done lots and lots of marital counseling.

If you and your hubby were sitting in my office I would first reprimand him for being shamefully mean spirited and rude.

That being said, there has been a lot of BAD advice given to you in this thread. You said that you gained weight in '08 and married in '09. That tells me that

he loves you for who you are. But let me share a book title that will really help you.

It is called For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn. This book is excellent and I think it will help you and your hubby immensely. There is also a companion book entitled For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by the same author with her hubby. They are brief but excellent books and will help you immensley. I hope you'll give them a shot before some of the bad advice in this thread.

Here is the Amazon link...

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_s...ti+feldhahn&sprefix=for+women,aps,281&x=0&y=0

OMG I cannot believe you are selling a book over this gals troubles. You are so wrong on so many levels. And I am a Christian woman.

 

[Iowa Roo Mom]

Hangman used to be my favorite game in grammar school!!!! Let's try it here....
The clue is a 9 letter word for Steph's hubby...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
__
| |
|
|
___|___

Still don't know? I'll help you with the letters...

H O E G U D A B

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seriously Steph, that isn't right. You need to think long and hard about your future with this man. Anyone willing to throw around such hurtful words is not someone I would personally want to spend the rest of my life with. I have a weight problem. I have seen your pictures, I don't think you're fat. I have found a man who loves me unconditionally, ALL of me. He supports me with my various attempts to lose weight, but has never, EVER said that I need to. You need to find a man who loves you for the person you are, not what you look like on the outside. I hope you can find the strength to at least talk to him about how it made you feel, but I know if it were me, I would have laid him flat on his back and left the restaurant.

 

[SourRoses]

Mr. "Man" Minister....
You might be a minister....
But from a Christian gal...
You are wrong and showing your obvious sexism!

 

[epeloquin]

I have noticed a trend in the responses in this thread. The men, like myself, think this hubby was dead wrong to do what he did.

On the other hand, most of the women seem to that it is perfectly okay for 'fattie' (don't call yourself that!) to be and stay overweight.

My wife was a slim hottie when we were dating and first got married. she gained a lot during our first pregnancy, got pregnant when #1 was 9mos. Then lost the weight after #2, excercised all the way through #3. In 2000 was diagnosed with cancer (lady type) which she beat (by God's grace). The radiation destroyed her ovaries and sent her into menopause at 32. Ever since (43 in March)she has battled her weight, even though she excercises at the gym 5-6 days per week, because of hormonal imbalances that have not responded to treatments. I still find her desirable and sexy and attractive even though she doesn't feel that way. We've been married for 20+ years and I have NEVER complained about her weight. She tries, and always has. She has a sister who is a sloppy, morbidly overweight woman who doesn't care a whit about her appearance. She takes great pride in the fact that she doesn't even shave her legs/underarms in the winter! I wonder why she's never married...

But as a hubby, it means a lot to me that my wife tries and she cares about her body and she wants to be desirable to me. It's not okay for any wife to just give up on her body and have the attitude toward her hubby of 'take it or leave it'. Neither should hubby stop being sensitive and caring after a few years of marriage. If both hubbys and wives focused more on putting the needs of the other first we'd have a lot happier marriages and fewer divorces.