Feeling really guilty right now

[chickeypoo]

My DD didn't sleep throught he night till almost 18 months old. She is way bigger than "average". she's really tall, she can fit into a size 6 shirt. (maybe up to 8 depending) so she was always hungry. yeah, she was a chunk but still really tall.

I say go with your instincts. My oldest DD slept with me utnil she was 2. i bought her a bed of her own(didn't have room before that) and she went to sleep in it the night i bought it and hasnt' turned back(she's 12 now) my middle DD, would sleep till morning and id pull her into bed with me so we could snuggle(and i could sleep a bit longer on weekends) she no longer comes to bed with me..a nd hasn't since about 3 years old. and my youngest, is 2 and a half. and she sleeps next to our bed and comes into it whenever she wants. (which is about 7 am.) and we do snuggle time.. and she normally falls back to sleep. i like having her in my room. she does have her own room, but at the trailer she was with us.. so when we moved, it was a big thing for her to have her own room, but she was terrified of it. plus the only window faces the road.. and it's a highway. so it gets lots of traffic past it.

I say, if you like him sleeping in bed with you, go for it.

but that's me. (just do'nt nurse in front of me when he's 5, cuz honestly THAT grosses me out LOL>. and i have seen it.. so.. ew

and i nursed all three of my kids)

Good luck. i hope you can get the baby sleeping through the night.. cuz i never had my kdis sleeping throught the night that young. haha.

 

[Qi Chicken]

They aren't happy either when they are not getting consistent full nights sleep. It is not restful sleep for either of you when the baby is in your bed. Cry it out is my vote. Put them down, let them cry themselves to sleep. It will take awhile, next night not as long, third night only a minute or so and next night right to sleep. This is an important skill they need to learn. Think of it as though your baby were a toddler. Do you give in the more they scream? No, that means they'll scream more the next time. And learn that screaming gets them what they want.

I did this with both my kids. Do it in the summer so you can go outside with the chickens so it won't break your heart. Sometimes it is hard to be a good parent, but you have to for their sakes.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Sorry, I disagree. YOU and perhaps YOUR kids did not sleep well sharing space together. Many people sleep quite well and happily with their kids. I certainly slept far better with mine than without them when they were small. Babies should not have their crying ignored; it teaches them that they cannot trust those who should love them most to meet their needs.

 

[Xtina]

I know that the different methodologies when it comes to putting kids to bed are very controversial and at odds with each other, so before this devolves into an argument over Cry it out (CIO) vs. attachment parenting, let me say the following:

CIO is often criticized for causing psychological problems and fear of abandonment
Attachment parenting is often criticized for resulting in spoiled, dependent children
Probably neither criticism is right, but there's not really any consensus on that

Let's not go down that road on this thread, please. Feel free to disagree, but respect each other's opinions on it. So you guys know, I'm not really trying to follow either method, instead attempting an amalgamation of the two. I'm not afraid to let him cry for a bit, but I'm not going to shut him in his room screaming and helpless for 10 minutes. I don't really know what I'm doing with this whole parenting thing, I think that much is obvious. It's my first kid and I'm learning the ropes. But there's one thing I'm pretty sure of: neither method is going to result in broken children.

 

[AngieChick]

Quote:
He sounds like my eldest. When he was small I got all sorts of advice about putting him on a feeding schedule instead of on demand because he would eat and breastfeed so often. I was told my more than one well meaning person "he's just using you as a pacifier". Now I look at my son, who is 16, thin and still eats constantly (as he always has). He has a very fast metabolism, it was present as an infant and it's carried through his childhood. Yes, at 6 months old he was "supposed" to be able to make it longer stretches. But, not every child is the same and I knew him and our situation better than anyone. My sister in law recently had a similar issue. She was trying to stretch out his feedings to the often cited 2 hours, but found that her son was not gaining weight like he was supposed to. She then decided to nurse him on demand and he is doing great. Trust your instincts.

It's very tempting to try to put "rules" on childrearing, but every child is different and we need to stay flexible in our thinking. My eldest son ended up sleeping with us until he was almost 1. It was just so much easier for all of us if I could just roll over, nurse him, and have us both fall back asleep. He adjusted fairly well to switching to his own bed, it was still hard but it would have been a difficult adjustment at any age. Lots of people choose to let their babies sleep with them longer, it's really a personal choice and every family is different. Keeping him in bed with us is what worked for us, but it may not be what's right for you.

I wish there was an easy answer for you, but in my experience babies and a good night's sleep rarely go together. Especially with precocious children. Sometimes you just have to live through that early time and know that it gets easier. I think that that's why there are so many opinions on how to handle those first months "right", people are trying to make sense and take control in an inherently chaotic time. Just know that you will find what works for your family.

 

[chickeypoo]

i tried the cry it out method on my eldest.. i never did it again after the second night. she cried so hard she threw up in her crib. so i cleaned her and the bed all up and i put her back in it.. she again, cried so hard she threw up. so i said forget it. and put her back in bed with me.. and this was with going to check on her.


everyone's situation is different. every baby is different. i didn't always go by what docs say cuz they don't know my child like i did.

good luck. i hope you find something that will work for you.

 

[Xtina]

Well, I unwillingly had to do the cry it out method tonight, because my baby refuses to ride in the car without crying. It took him 18 minutes of sobbing before he fell asleep as I was pulling into our street.

Those of you who have done cry it out, how long did your babies cry before exhausting themselves?

 

[sianara]

Quote:
My kids are college age now but MAN do I remember the sleepless MONTHS!!! The book that saved my life was "Solve your Child's sleep problems" by Richard Ferber, M.D.

My suggestion would be to talk to your pediatrician first before starting it to make sure there aren't any underlying problems (ear infection, sinus back up etc.) that could be fixed with antibiotics.

The main thing I really liked was you weren't expected to totally abandon the child. You just "checked in" on a specific time schedule, spoke quietly to reassure them, didn't pick them up and left promptly. All very brief. They see you, know they aren't abandoned and so on. Of course, each child has their own personalities. It took about a week for my DD to finally start sleeping through the night on her own. I remember sitting there in the hallway thinking "Well, I'm going to be up one way or the other - at least this way I have a goal/plan and it won't go on forever! I will sleep again

"

Limiting nap time (to one hour instead of 3 say) also made a big difference.

The book is very informative and is of sound advice IMHO. Here's a link to B&N for the updated 2006 version. I bought several copies of the 1985 version way back when to give to my kids when/if they have the same problem with their kids

. Those books are still waiting on the bookshelf patiently.

http://productsearch.barnesandnoble...re=BOOK&WRD=solve+your+child's+sleep+problems

Good luck and good sleeping.

(Just remember, if you do follow this "plan"... It WILL get better and you will BOTH be happier in the long run)

Gotta to go to sleep now

Good night!

 

[Elite Silkies]

Have you tried playing any music? Or maybe, you could record yourself singing or talking and play that for the baby while he is trying to go to sleep.

They have those mattresses that vibrate, but I coudn't afford one when my girls were younger. But, they are suppose to be really good and helps the babies relax and go to sleep.


I def. need to get one of those books. I have fought one of my twins for 9 years now. She just fell asleep around 2 am. I have never seen a child not need sleep. She'll be getting up at 6:30 in the morning to go to work with her Dad, and she'll do it all over again.

I have to be with her, or she will not go to sleep. She will cry until she is broke out in hives, coughing and gagging. The other twin is not like that.

So, I wish I had some answers for you, but I need them myself

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

Quote:
Respectfully, you did ask for everyone's opinions in your original post, so that is certainly what you are going to see.

For those of us who feel strongly that a baby should never have to cry it out...there are just as many who feel just as strongly that they should. Perhaps you should just do what you feel is best for YOUR baby.