Feeling really guilty right now

[ChikeeMomma]

Quote:
That's what my doctor says to do also. She also says that they should be sleeping throught the night by six months (doesn't matter if they are breast or bottle fed). Mine both slept through by 4 months. I can remember my oldest daughter waking up at 7 months and I went in and picked her up because I thought something was wrong -- there wasn't anything wrong. And from then on she got up once a night because I picked her up. I had to do what was mentioned above. It took almost a week to get her back to sleeping through the night again.

 

[pdsavage]

I don't know what to tell you except do what YOU think is best,my mother kept telling me im going to spoil my kids if they slept with me...
That was so not true,my kids are smart and very independent .

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:

Babies and young children whose needs are met grow up to be MORE independant than those who have not. Studies have proven this.

Every baby is different. Just like adults, some need more sleep than average, some less. Some babies thrive on a flexible "schedule"; others only thrive on a rigid schedule. A question I would ask is why you are trying to sleep train him/her? What exactly is your goal?

 

[Xtina]

Thanks for all the great advice guys. I really need it. This is all very helpful. To answer some of your questions, yes, he is teething, so I know that plays a big role. Southern Belle, that book is on my list of things I need to read. My doula has a copy that I've been meaning to borrow.

Why am I sleep training? I'd just like to get more than two hours of sleep at a time. It's been six months of this, although for the first two months, he regularly gave me five hour stretches. No longer. And I'm starting to fade. I think I'd really benefit from a good five-hour stretch of sleep for once. Maybe that's what I'll ask for for my birthday.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Okay, so he is waking up every two hours all night long? Sounds like daytime naps need to be reduced, and if he is nursing when he wakes at night, he is probably just about to enter a growth spurt, and is building up your milk supply. Since he is already on solids, you may want to increase the amount he is eating.

Consider bringing him to bed and letting him nurse at will--you will probably get a lot more sleep. He is also at an age when he should be getting more active play time which will help wear him out so that he will sleep more soundly. Maybe this is where dad could help more--give him some one-on-one active playing while you take a nap or whatever else would relax you.

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

I made all my kids go to sleep in their beds, but would let them come into my bed in the middle of the night. My 3 year old still comes in most nights and sleeps the rest of the night in my bed (NOT nursing of course)... my 5 year old hasn't come into me bed for about 2 years, and my 7 year old would rather die than sleep in my bed. they all grow out of it... you're not going to have your 8 year old sleeping in your bed unless you force them... which would be super weird. I say do whatever makes you all happy.

 

[ScaredOfShadows]

My elder cousin let her son sleep with her from a baby - and he would wake up and whine to get in bed with her and she let him..She didn't stop letting him sleep in her king size bed till he was NINE YEARS OLD!!!! Because she 'didn't want to hear him fuss and fit' OMG - I could never imagine sharing a bed with my daughter for NINE YEARS!!!! I got her out of it when it hit me it was an issue that needed to be nipped in the bud. - I wish I hadn't started it and yes I did it too because I wanted to sleep when I could sleep. I am an insomniac, back when my DD was a baby I was getting maybe 3 hrs sleep and I NEEDED that 3 hrs sleep no more than 4 or I felt horrible - we had our schedule she went down for the night @ 8 PM from about 6 or 7 months and I would wind up crawling in bed around 2 am and we'd wake up about 5:30 or 6am - I would take a nap with her in the middle of the day (about an hour) until she stopped napping about 15 months old (if I wasn't working) - so yes I understood it was my fault but oh well whats done is done if I have another one - I will try to resist letting them sleep with me to suit my needs. - lol.


Again - good luck and just try what is most comfortable for you to try.

 

[MysticScorpio82]

Quote:
You read my mind. For day time try the E-A-S-Y schedule to try to reduce the naps. It stands for Eat Awake Sleep Yourself. Basically after you feed him, keep him awake as long as you can before laying him down. Slowly he will start having longer wake periods during the day. I did a similar thing for my babies. I chose 2 times during the day that I wanted for his naps ( 9 am and then 1p) and everytime he would wake up to eat (and it wasn't at the time I wanted him to nap) I would try to keep him awake until the next feeding. But when the 9am came, as soon as he was hungry I would feed him and lay him down. It only took a couple weeks to a month for him to get into that pattern. Now my 8 month old has decided (on his own) he doesn't want 2 naps, so he gets one nap about 11a, and then to bed at 7p. He sleeps all night (well til 5am, he rises with the sun).

Also How old is your baby? You may need to start solids sooner. American Peds says that you CAN start giving them solids when they are 4 months old, but of course they reccomend holding off as long as you can (til 6 mo) but if he is over 4 months, some rice cereal is not going to hurt him. Some babies are just hunger!

I know it's hard when they aren't sleeping. I am sorry I don't have any more advise. Personally for the teething, if it is REALLY bothering him and effecting his sleep, I would give him a dose of infant tylenol (that is what I did). I just used it sparingly.

 

[Xtina]

Thanks guys! As far as daytime naps go, he's been sleeping at the sitter's (he's there for 4 or five hours from mid-morning to mid-afternoon), usually for half an hour, and then he comes home and naps again for another half hour. Then, he usually doesn't sleep again until late at night...he's just raring to go until like 9 p.m. or later.

Of course, there's always some variation to this. Most mornings he wakes up at 8:30 for real, but lately he's making it 8:00 or earlier. Some days he sleeps an hour for me or the sitter. One day he even slept for 2.5 hours over there, and boy was that a ripoff! Some evenings he wants a late nap like around 6 or 7, but I try to not let him have one unless he's really out for the count.

He's really active during his awake hours too. We go for walks, he gets in the swings at the park, he has a jumperoo and an exersaucer, and he's been really working on crawling and rolling over. He rolls over both ways very easily now and tries to sit up.

He eats all kinds of solid foods. Like 10 vegetables and nearly 10 other things, like rice cereal, applesauce, and cheerios. We started him on solid foods at four months because he was eating about 14 times a day! He's just a hungry, active, growing boy. Part of me thinks he really can't go that long without eating, regardless of what medical experts say about what babies can do at this age.

 

[arabianequine]

Sounds like maybe not enough sleep during the day and a crabby pants when you want to put him to bed...he needs to cry himself to sleep on those days that you know he did not sleep that much. He is young enough he should be getting at least one good nap a day. 1/2 hour naps are not adequate for him. If he is not much of a sleeper I would feed him lunch and put him down for a nap he should sleep 1-2 hours I would think and then not until bed again....maybe he won't be so crabby at bedtime.

Also you said your breastfeeding....I would put some of your milk in a bottle his last feeding to go to sleep with and add cereal and maybe that will make him fuller for the night. Yeah also the tylenol or orajel on his gums....might be able to do both on the really crying hard nights. Also try those teething cold rings not sure if it is ok for them to have in bed. My kids are 17, 18, and 20 now so not sure on the recommendations but you could always take it away once his asleep might help.