I say no to my children. Every time I stand in line at the grocery store!! lol Was a time I didn't take them with me just to avoid the tussle-- theydidn't have the internal gizmo to stop asking so I stopped bringing them with me until they did get that "no" was "no". I don't waffle either-- and I explain why, not " because I told you so". The kids have input and I value their opinions. We make decisions together except adult stuff. IF they want me to drive them to an event, then they need to help with the chores to free up my time. If they need a clean uniform for scouts, then get it washed. I do lend a hand with ironing: either with my supervision, or I do it if rushed. WHen we are rushed we all pitch in and divie out the must- do jobs before racing out the door.
It is not my job to give my kids everything. It is my job to give them a moral compass. ANd provide a safe secure home with adequate clothing and good food. IT is my job to help them learn to be self-sufficient. BOth my kids can cook, do dishes, laundry, feed the critters, clean a bird, and bury a bird. BOth my kids are well behaved at school. IF anything they fail to stick up for themselves at school, even to a teacher. THen I need to step in and help guide my kids. I try to teach them stuff is not everything-- having mostly second hand items and still having a great time is rewarding to me.
I can't be sure my kids will be there when I am older-- I hope they do not go far. BUt jobs can be anywhere in the world now.I do find it interesting that my DH family live within an hour o each other by my family is scattered all over the US and don't have( much) contact. We spend TIME with our kids. My kids reflect what I have taught them.