Freecycle ad just rubbing me wrong.

[Boyd]

Quote:
I haven't seen many effective ways in this generation. A Lot of them grow up with no respect to others or their elders. CPS is only a phone call away ya know? If I gave my parents backtalk/lip, it was a smack across the mouth. Now a days you get protective services called on you and you have some public servent telling you how to raise your kids.

Now we get columbine's...... hrm..... touchy feeley parenting doesn't seem to be working from what I'm seeing. Too many parents trying to be their kids friends and psychiatrist, and not their "parents" and getting back to what the Original poster started this thread on............ It sounds like a joke. One of a thousand that you'll see if you frequent craigslist or any other freecycle type website.

 

[beak]

I really think a lot of the badly disciplined kids are more a result of parents that don't spend time with their kids. If they're well off they buy the kid a car and give him a 20.00 on the way out the door. It's just bad parenting. I was spanked and was slapped more than once for talking back. I just haven't ever found the need with my kids. They actually care about disappointing me or making me mad. I can hurt them worse with a disapproving look than with a belt.

 

[Boyd]

Quote:

Got to give you props, I was lucky with one of my boys like you were with your kids. He was swatted once. His brother on the other hand.........

Both are now very respectful boys. Some of us get lucky with our kiddo's. and no physical discipline is ever needed.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Child psychology at the college level has taught me a lot about this.

There are different levels of development of the brain. You cannot "reason" with kids at certain levels about their behavior; they are not developmentally ready to make adult-level connections between their behavior and consequences. However, young kids understand pain. A quick swat after a child has done something wrong helps the child understand that bad behavior leads to an unpleasant feeling for them. I've read that some Native Americans, years and years ago, would let their babies get too close to the fire; once they got burned once, they wouldn't go near it again. It was an easier way of teaching them than telling them not to do something over and over and over (like a lot of parents do nowadays).

I got the swatter, the belt, and even a small piece of 2x4 growing up. I even got the Ivory soap ground into my teeth if I swore or mouthed off. NEVER, ever got into trouble at school, and it was more about obeying my parents and living up to their expectations than about the teachers. I am an Honors graduate from both high school and college and have a 4.0 in graduate school. I have a career and I have nothing more than love and respect for my parents. By disciplining me, my parents gave me the gift of self-discipline, which is why I think I've been so successful in school.

Some "quickies" from psychology and classroom experience:

- Deep down, children need structure in their lives. It is an almost instinctive desire. Children do not thrive in situations where there is no structure.
- Developmentally-appropriate, logical consequences teach children the difference between right and wrong.
- Consequences must be enforced consistently, or your word will mean nothing.

 

[mountaintopchicken]

I got the swatter, the belt, and even a small piece of 2x4 growing up. I even got the Ivory soap ground into my teeth if I swore or mouthed off. NEVER, ever got into trouble at school, and it was more about obeying my parents and living up to their expectations than about the teachers. I am an Honors graduate from both high school and college and have a 4.0 in graduate school. I have a career and I have nothing more than love and respect for my parents. By disciplining me, my parents gave me the gift of self-discipline, which is why I think I've been so successful in school.

But what if youu can get all of these things without being hit by a parent? I did not get into trouble at school either, and also did well, also though a graduate level of education, and I never got a swatter, a belt, or a two x four. From the point of view of someone who was never, ever hit, the concept of spanking, using a belt etc. seems to foreign to me.

This does not mean my mother was, as someone said,

anti-let-your-little-monters-run-rampant-kill-them-with-kindness-new-age-touchy-feely-bs...)

I never, ever ran rampant. And there was, trust me, absolutely no bs in our house. My mother isn't a bs kind of lady. She's the kind of lady that is able to work full time, raise a child by herself, read to the child, teach the child, and make sure the kid has manners in public and at home. That's no bs. Not using spanking or other forms of hitting as discipline doesn't make you a namby-pamby wishy washy mother, believe me. She could stop me with a look or a tone of voice, instantly.

Some "quickies" from psychology and classroom experience:

- Deep down, children need structure in their lives. It is an almost instinctive desire. Children do not thrive in situations where there is no structure.
- Developmentally-appropriate, logical consequences teach children the difference between right and wrong.
- Consequences must be enforced consistently, or your word will mean nothing.

I believe this, especially regarding structure. This is what I got as a kid, no spanking involved.

I'm pro spanking too. Never when children are present though.

beak, you are my hero...

 

[speckledhen]

Here is my $10 (inflation).

Discipline is not "One Size Fits All". What works for one kid will not work for another. Great if you weren't spanked and came out well. Some kids can't be raised that way and thrive as adults. Spanking was a last resort at our house, but was used when it was something dangerous or dishonest that my sons did. You can't say it's always wrong and you can't say it's always right to spank. Kids come in different temperament packages and have different ways of learning. And we are talking about spanking, not beating.

 

[Beed]

I don't have children but have to say my $10-haha. My Dad raised us-5 girls. We were scared of him but knew he loved us. He was very structured which I agree kids need. He kept us busy with traveling, chores, projects, etc.. Our whole neighborhood was filled w/ kids. We had the least, 5, lots of Catholics-ha. Dad never hit us but he let us beat the daylights out of each other. I still have a scar on my head from an Easy Bake oven being thrown at me (didn't close the door quick enough). When it comes down to it Dad scared us just enough to be good. We respected him. I think that is one of the keys for children to respect their parents. I also agree that not every child is the same. I watch Super Nanny and she is the bomb. I have learned so much from her.

 

[Davaroo]

Neededaddle

I don't WANT a paddle, I NEED a paddle. We are having some disciplinary issues with our son and timeouts and regular spankings aren't working. He's gotten the paddle once at school so we figured if we get one it will scare him straight! (Or we'll wear it out trying!)

Im willing to bet these parents are in the South. "Wearin' out the paddle on his behind," is a common expression here. Besides, there aren't too many places left where a kid will get the paddle in school except the South, and good old Texas (which I lovingly view as another country, all it's own - God Bless Texas!).

I also would bet that the original poster was expecting to find people who would join her in crying out against such 'treatment' of a child. That she got a rude awakening on that score is comforting.
For all their animal loving, "warm and fuzziness," I find that most adult BYC'ers do not extend "live and let live" sentiments to their children. More often it's, "Get in line you brats, or you'll get what you deserve!"

This Freecycle ad doesn't mean the parents are going to beat the child, or that any of us should get our sensibilites out of whack. It means their kid is a hellion beyond reason and that they care enough to do these two things:

1. They care enough to use the appropriate level of discipline, so the child learns the rule of cause and effect.... there are consequences for "showin' out," as we say here in Dixie. This kid needs to learn that and that's all he needs to learn for now. We should all thank God these Parents are trying.

2. They care enough to ask for others' involvement. The societies of men have thrived best where everyone is involved and invested. As Hillary Clinton said, "It takes a village to raise child."
That we have entrusted our modern societies to the care of strangers and outsiders - politicians, psychologists and The System - is cause for our undoing.

I'd like to meet these parents before I pass judgement on them. From what I see, I suspect I'd like them.

 

[SarahFair]

Quote:
Ive lived in Ga my whole life. My original school (private) paddled kids.
I myself never got paddled. I feared it! My little cousin however, twice. haha
Once in kindergarten for giver her teacher the bird. Of corse they called her dad and asked if he would allow it. He told them 'H**l yes paddle her!'
...needless to say she never did it again.

The second time was 1st grade she got all 5 closepins pulled 2 weeks in a row for talking. They sent her to the office to get paddled, called her dad, same reply, same results.

haha I honsetly dont know how she got the short end of the stick out of the 4 of us she seems the least likey to cause any trouble, aside from me of corse.

They still paddle. All the public schools Ive been to never did it.

 

[whitecra]

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The pulbic school here where my son does. The parent has to sign a paper telling they can. I sign it every year. I think if they need it the teachers should be able to give it to them
Chris