Freecycle ad just rubbing me wrong.

[Wynette]

I've read this whole thread over the last two days, and I've not seen one person except for Speckledhen mention the children themselves...as in, what works for one may not work for another.

I was swatted, got the belt, soap in the mouth, all that stuff; I'm fine psychologically now, and a contributing member to society. I'm a degreed professional, my boss and co-workers like me, and I get along fine with most folks.

BUT...I have to say, my brother has three kids that I watched get raised from another state. One of my nephews did NOT respond to paddling or swatting at all. It made him worse. Made him get very quiet, want to be alone, and regress from his siblings and family. I'm not a psychologist, but obviously the paddlings had the wrong effect on him. He's now 12, and I'm somewhat worried about what sort of an adult he'll be as a result of this. His brother and sister, on the other hand, learned quickly from a swat and seem no worse for the wear, psychologically. JMO!!

 

[klf73]

Sorry, didn't read the whole thread(only til page 7) and just wanted to give my opinion/experience. I have 6 children, NONE are disciplined the same. Some do get spanked, some don't. When my oldest (now 13) was little all I needed to do was have her hold her hand up and I very lightly tapped her hand with 2 fingers, you would have thought I beat her. I wasn't that it hurt, it was her realizing she was in trouble. Spanking her would have been overkill and unnecessary. Now, my eldest son got time outs just because I was afraid I would kill him. He did get spanked at times but only after I had a time out so it was controlled. We do not spank in anger, it is a rule in this house. My middle son writes a punishment, he is very sensitive(sensory and emotional) and highly intelligent so this is the most effective way of getting the point across and make him realize what he did wrong.

My point is each punishment should be tailored to the individual child so that it is the most effective. You can only know how to do this if you know your child. I know(unfotunately) plenty of people that whack their children frequently and use foul language when a different means would work better but they don't take the effort

 

[speckledhen]

In commenting on the ad itself, that is a troll, IMO. You're telling me someone has to advertise for a paddle to spank his kid? C'mon, folks, if they really wanted to use a paddle, they could just grab a cutting board or something similar. That ad is just not for real.

 

[Boyd]

Quote:

That's what I was sayin!

 

[SarahFair]

Ya it was just a vent as I saw it. Just like people do here.
Maybe they need to be introduced to a forum

 

[DiVon80]

Quote:
I was scared of the nuns-

I can still see Sister Thomas Marie mean mean! My third grade nun HA! Then my dad sent me to public school.

We were even afraid to go near there house. Mean Nuns!

 

[sparkles2307]

LOL there are STILL mean nuns in the town I work in!

 

[JessaLynn]

Quote:
I agree! I have 4 children and they to are disciplined differently.I also do childcare out of my home and yes some children specialy under 3 need their hand swat to know what's exceptible and what's not.I have had nothing but compliments how my children behave and am very proud of them.I am troubled that SOME people do not use spanking properly and do it much out of anger then to correct bad hehavior.Most children these days do not respect thier parents nor any adult in that matter because they aren't taught it in my opinion.What ever happend to YES MAM and NO SIR? I'm appolled at all the children I see who lack mannors and it's so simple!
The way PARENTS AND CAREGIVERS speak to them is how THEY will speak.SO if you don't use mannors and treat your children with respect, how do you expect them to know how to treat people???

 

[luvmychicknkids]

I am a firm believer that each child has to be disciplined according to their personality. With three boys who don't even act related, I learned that very quick. The only thing my kids have in common is that they are all EXTREMELY well behaved, polite, and GREAT kids!!! The majority of the time my kids can be easily reasoned with and require not actual discipline. I guess talking to them like humans from the time they were born makes a big difference. However, they ARE kids and sometimes require more.

My oldest son required the occasional spanking when he was younger. And no, I didn't often use my hand. One light swat with my hand and small veins break in my fingers which hurts a LOT. The wooden spoon worked well and could give just the right tap to get my point across. My middle son, if I were to spank him, he would go into meltdown. He is so eager to make us happy that simply knowing we are disappointed is more than enough. My youngest......oh my....if I were to spank him, he would be like an angry grizzly bear. It all boils down to knowing your kids which so many parents don't.

 

[beak]

Quote:
The pulbic school here where my son does. The parent has to sign a paper telling they can. I sign it every year. I think if they need it the teachers should be able to give it to them
Chris

Wouldn't that be a cool job. Get to spank other peoples kids. No emotions involved. Who cares if the kid is humiliated. I wonder how they pick the chief spanker.