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[Boyd]

Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft at (location unknown), you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am not in Iranian airspace, I am in Iraqi airspace.'

Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'

Iranian Air Defense Radar: (no response .... total silence)

 

[okiemommy]

Quote:
I have seen this a hundred times, but I read it all the way through every time(there's some missing

) because it cracks me up just as much ever time as the first time I read it.

 

[okiemommy]

Quote:

 

[debilorrah]

 

[debilorrah]

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.
State - of - the - art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your State - of - the - art computer to become obsolete.
Syntax Error - "Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
GUI (pronounced "gooey") - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
Computer Chip - Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.
Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen.
Portable Computer - A device invented to force business men to work at home, on vacation and on business trips.
Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your current software.

 

[debilorrah]

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you love to respond
like this?.....

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow, for Athena the wonder
dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I
had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm
retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a
dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn't, I elaborated. Because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time; but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in
both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry; and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her, no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter
and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.

 

[dacjohns]

I am beat. Been on my feet and walking around and through the woods all day.

The burn went well. We had hoped for better coverage but the fire did about what was expected. And no one got hurt and the fire stayed where it was supposed to. Now I can see more of what needs to be done for our management program. A lot of saplings and brush needs to be removed. Start as soon as it is dry enough to b(r)ush hog and start knocking stuff down. I won't have a shortage of firewood either.

Hopefully I can now get a rotation schedule going to burn a portion every 2 to 4 years. The wildlife will love it.

 

[dacjohns]

Quote:
Party cancelled.

 

[maplesky7]

Quote:
boo sounds like g??? how many pages back? and how often are you all reminiscing about me?

 

[dacjohns]

Quote:
boo sounds like g??? how many pages back? and how often are you all reminiscing about me?

You're back.