Funny bit I heard - mixes chickens with transit

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by debilorrah, Aug 13, 2010.

  1. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    So most of you know I work in public transit (City buses). I was watching this stand up guy tonight and his bit included chickens and transit:

    So, I was standing there at this bus stop and the bus picks me up and it is like TOTAL bus rush hour in San Francisco. Wall to wall people, right? Next stop there is this ancient chinese woman waiting to get on, and she has a grocery bag in her left hand, which is normal. In her right hand she has a live chicken by the neck, which is not normal. The chicken is fighting her every step of the way, because it knows if it doesn't escape. it will be dinner in 45 minutes.

    So the driver tells Yoda she cannot bring a live chicken on the bus. She backs off, the driver looks at his manual trying to find a paragraph about a live chicken on the bus. In the meantime, the packed bus is all talking about the crazy chinese lady with the chicken. Next thing we hear is THUMP THUMP THUMP on the side of the bus.

    Yoda took the chicken and clubbed it on the side of the bus so the chicken is now dead and she gets on the bus holding it up acting like "So we are good now?" Driver lets her on, and the sea of people part because she is now dripping salmonella on everyones feet, EWWW, and goes to the back to sit down, where miraculously there are three empty seats, because who wants to sit next to Yoda and a dead chicken, right? Next stop, everyone got off, thinking, HELL, I'll get the next bus!!!


    Now. I have to tell you that this story does not at ALL sound weird to me. [​IMG] Transit is a weird animal. Today we had a guy ask a driver if he can bring a plant on the bus. Driver says yes. Of course, now stop and think - what is a plant to you?

    Ok - this guy came back with two trees - one 7 feet and one 5 feet and wondered why he couldn't get on. [​IMG]
  2. bumpershoot

    bumpershoot Chillin' With My Peeps

    Having lived in San Francisco I can totally see that happening. What a crack up!!! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  3. NewToFarming

    NewToFarming Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 28, 2010
    Millersburg, PA
    I just seen that same stand up!!! It was pretty funny!![​IMG]
  4. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Either my titles are all wrong or no one finds this funny.. I can't imagine. [​IMG]
  5. SpringChickens

    SpringChickens Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 1, 2009
    College Station, Tx
    I thought that was hilarious! [​IMG]
  6. turney31

    turney31 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 14, 2008
    palestine texas
  7. duck walk

    duck walk Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 13, 2009
    white springs, fl
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  8. slackwater

    slackwater Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 1, 2010
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
  9. PortageGirl

    PortageGirl Chillin' With My Peeps

    Nov 8, 2008
    Portage County, Ohio
    ROFL Hey, it could have been a pig too! [​IMG] I've lived where a chicken, a piglet or a goat wouldn't be a surprise on a bus, but I'm thinking the chicken was a bit much even in SF.
  10. WingingIt

    WingingIt Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 16, 2009

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