The pretty weather is over... BUT WAIT! I am in Michigan, it'll be back...
Fuzzy, If you have to move, and you find that you need to take your birds somewhere else, you need to know you can bring them here until you are settled and you can take them where you are. I want you to know that.
Relationships are like a good suit that is a good fit when you buy it. A good suit will have clean lines that are timeless. Yes there is always the possibility of alteration in the future, rents that need mending... A good suit you do not give up on unless it no longer fits, mending is an option that is difficult and leaves the suit in ill repair, barely serviceable... Sometimes, no matter if you love it, you just got to let it go.
My marriage to my ex was like that. We got together senior year in highschool. May 1992. Married July 1994, Divorced July 2005 just days before our 11th anniversary. We were smart enough to call it quits and stop trying to make it work. We were miserable more than we were happy. I wanted to go one way, I am more earthy. He was another, more visual, needs to prove his success. He has a big pretty house in a neighborhood of manicured lawns. He has a brand new jeep, that big one... commander I think it is... and has debt up to his eyeballs in order to keep up with the joneses and no kids. Me, I have a small house that fits my income. I have a set of boys who make me laugh and mad and proud and frustrated. I have my chickens, and I grow a bit of food. I have a job that just pays the bills. I have a car that isn't the best, but keeps me going to work. On occassion, I have biscuits and gravy... and I am not talking for breakfast. BUT we are still friends after everything. Not a lot of couples can say that. We didn't wait till our relationship became hell. We didn't have kids that we were trying to hold it together for. Even now, with John, we are smart enough to know that yes, we care about each other, but we know that we are not GOOD TOGETHER. Even now, his living here, drives us both nuts, but he was going to be homeless, and I wasn't going to ever have my boys say I let their dad live in the homeless shelter when he was down and out. He has his own space here. BUT we have kids together... If we were TOGETHER our kids would see the wrong way a relationship would be. They wouldn't see a loving relationship where we are both on the same page and stand together. A marriage can be a constant war with bouts of cease fire, or a constant one with bouts of disagreement. I'd rather have the second. I also will never have a boyfriend as long as my boys are minors.
Some people can blend families together and live happily ever after, persay... I am not willing to risk that. Both my sisters chose men over their kids. EVEN AFTER THE KIDS SAID NO! My older sisters kids have nothing really to do with her. The younger sister had her daughter living with me for a year while they came to terms. Its been two and a half years since her hubby died, and she's been with this new guy for two. Her daughter is only just starting to get along with her new boyfriend, because of a conversation I had with her. Learn to get along while she's there, until she is old enough to move out on her own, and learns to take care of herself, her house, job,bills, and car, or goes OFF to college. She's now learning the art of manipulation... Yup. A classic woman in the making.
I have several friends who've jumped into new relations constantly with their kids trailing behind, and now complain that their kids go through BF/GF like water... Or are in violent relationships just like what their parents had... Or complain all the time how the step parent doesn't treat their kids the same... I do not want that. My kids come first. Their dad may not be perfect, hell I am not perfect. But I am not going to risk subjecting them to one that is worse, jumping in and out of relationships looking for Mr. Right, cuz they, the kids, only get hurt more. God Bless those blended families that work. Cuz it surely aint a Brady Bunch Special for most of the real world. But staying with some one for the kids sake, isn't always the best either... Staying because you love each other isn't always the best either.
So, I guess all I am saying is, you need to do whats right for your peace of mind. If you can not have peace of mind more often than not, then you need to let sleeping dogs lie and move on. Being alone can be hard, but hobbies, social activities, volunteering... can sure make going home to a peaceful house nice. I LOVED living alone. I had social engagements that I kept, went to the gym, work, dinner/lunch with friends. Occassional buiscuts and gravy... Even after having Jace, we lived alone until my dad became ill and needed me there. But I loved that the place was mine. I could have what I wanted, do what I wanted, when I wanted, and be alone, or with someone when I wanted. I looked forward to going home, it was my sanctuary, even when I was alone. I had my birds (KEETS), cats, and 2 dogs...
I need to find a roomie that likes birds, find a place to rent that will allow them! Or get a rent to own, which is what i really want/ need for my sanity. I can't do it alone, not on part time. Come spring i had thought of cross training at another of their facilities, getting more hours. Then i would have more options! But really i don't want to live alone, i did it before off and on but it gets too quiet sometimes.
