Getting married and looking for advice!

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Peachfuzz221, Jun 17, 2018.

  1. Peachfuzz221

    Peachfuzz221 Chirping

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    I am getting married this coming October to my best friend. I have no doubt I want to marry him and that he is "the one", my soulmate, my other half, etc. but I have never been good with change nor have I ever moved out of my parents home and been away from them for long periods of time. Right after the wedding we are supposed to be moving to Wisconsin for a few months so he can take classes. We live in Ohio!

    So partnered with a big move, I am also worried about the physical aspect of the relationship. I am not a touchy feely person while he is and super clingy. We have an understanding about that, but it still worries me in the long run. I've also dealt with relationship issues my whole life, romantically, and it scares me the thought of commitment as well as if he will keep true.

    I guess I just need advice or some encouraging words to make me feel better? I am going to get married despite these feelings as I feel I am ready for the next step, but kind words and maybe good experiences in your own lives would help a girl out. Just a little background information, we have known each other since the fourth grade and have been dating on and off since then. I am twenty and he is nineteen and recently got back together after two years apart after graduation.

    Probably one of the sweetest, most patient, understanding, funniest guys in the world!
     
  2. Brahma Chicken5000

    Brahma Chicken5000 Araucana Addict

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    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I wish you all the best!
     
  3. featherhead007

    featherhead007 Crowing

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    Make a chart, two columns, what you like about him on one, and the other concerns you have on the other. Then do the comparing. I wish you both happiness. Remember your chickens!
     
  4. Peachfuzz221

    Peachfuzz221 Chirping

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    Thank you so much! ^^

    That is a great idea! And thank you :> Never! I plan to bring my Sebright Rooster and hen with me :D
     
  5. featherhead007

    featherhead007 Crowing

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    :D
     
  6. JedJackson

    JedJackson Free Ranging

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    It's normal to be freaking out before you get married! Especially at such a young age. My advice is to always talk things out, even when it's difficult and you'd rather not. Communication is key!

    Adding a big move to getting married sounds challenging. But it's only short term, right? Look on it as an opportunity to see and experience new things. And remember that you can always move back-- where you live is decided by two people in a relationship, not one.

    I think you will do fine. The fact that you're in here talking about these things and getting support says a lot. Keep doing things like that. And remember that he has come back to you many times-- you are obviously worth it. And from the sound of it, he's worth the effort too.

    Blessings and good luck to you both.
     
  7. Rose Quartz

    Rose Quartz Crossing the Road

    :D

    Sounds similar to me. I knew my boy from when we were babies our parents were friends. Started dating at 16. Married at 20. Moved 3 days after the wedding almost 3000 miles from home. Hes snuggly and clingly im not. At all. We just passed out 10 year anniversary. And still happy.
     
  8. Fields Mountain Farm

    Fields Mountain Farm Addict

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    Congratulations! The chart is a fantastic idea! And you've been given great advice and encouragement....
    Im only going to send a blessing your way... :hugs
    May the Lord bless you and keep you.
    May the Lord make his face to shine upon you,
    and be gracious to you.
    May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you,
    and give you peace.
     
  9. PirateGirl

    PirateGirl Chicken Lover, Duck Therapist

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    If he doesn't cause you stress and you are completely comfortable around him, you have nothing to worry about! The other stuff is small stuff and you can work through it. Mention to him the things that concern you (maybe not all at once, you don't want it to be overwhelming, just mention one thing) and give him a chance to respond. I'm sure he will set your mind at ease. I moved about 4.5 hours away from home when I went to college, alone. I later moved across the country, alone. It can be overwhelming and scary but also fun and exciting. New people, new job, new apartment, new restaurants, new museums, etc. I always remind myself that if I don't like it, or it doesn't work, it's ok, I can always move back to where I was before or I can always try somewhere new. You don't have to live in Wisconsin forever if you don't like it, but give it a fair chance and be honest with your husband about what you do and don't like about it so you know what to look for in your forever home. If your family is really important to you make sure he knows and plan in advance to travel and see them for important birthdays/holidays/etc. it's normal to feel nervous about any big life change. You got this. You are lucky because you aren't doing it alone!
     
  10. Tesumph

    Tesumph Crossing the Road

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    You’re gonna be fine. :) I got married 6 months ago. I’m 20, he’s 25. He’s my best friend and the love of my life. I also had worries about moving away from parents and all the big changes, but in the end it figures itself out.

    We’ve had a lot of problems with my health lately. I have good days but can suddenly be bedridden and he has to play the happy supportive hubby role. We were supposed to move closer to our college of choice this summer but can’t now because of my health. Even with all that negativity he is always right there, optimistic, making me laugh and keeping me going. Yea it’s a sucky start to a marriage and yea we have our spats (almost always caused by my moodiness) but when you really love each other, you’re in it for the long haul, and the circumstances don’t dictate your love.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t rush into anything, but also don’t listen to anyone who says you can’t do something just because you’re young. Keep a level head, listen to advice from people who’ve been there, and learn to grow in love and maturity with each other. In case you haven’t been told 100 times already, COMMUNICATION IS EVERYTHING. Talk when you don’t want to! Honestly, fight if you have to! It’s better to let it out then fester and rot. Once the honeymoon phase wears off (in our case my health never really let us have one) and reality sets in, just take a deep breath and know that he’s not your enemy. No matter how much you want to strangle him :p

    That’s all the advice I got from one newly wed to another almost newly wed. Good luck my friend!
     

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