Mailed my Christmas cards Tuesday. Tha KS Wishing that was way easier than last year.
Granny's gone and done it again
- Thread starter Granny Hatchet
- Start date
That’s ok lol maybe I’ll eventually name him if you keep reminding me!Morning! I am not asleep! which is not quite the same as being awake. I still have hope, though.
Granny, hope the crabbiness goes away. Terrible to go shopping anywhere around here, but I must go. Heading out to get some hay and birdseed, and need to go to another town for that. Considering/dreading going to Walmart to get silicons nose pads put on my new glasses... they keep sliding down.
You know I will keep bugging you.Everything must have a name! or it might become food. Turtle soup?
hahaaa, you could call him Soupy after Soupy Sales, but you probably don't know who that was! haha Told you I am not really awake.
Cute babies! Do people prefer the dogs with more white?
That’s nifty!
Pretty sure we would never get Yuri away from you the rest of the time your here.
Maybe do a trade and you can take a yak back. Of course it would have to be one of the boys.
I’ve ordered my Christmas cards! Better late than never.
OH MY now I feel much better as I have them in a drawer. THANK YOU
Hi everyone, finally got caught up & had a couple minutes to sit & enjoy a cup of coffee. Thought it would be a good time to pop in. Unfortunately I haven't been in the Christmas mood either, but it isn't lack of snow causing it like twist. Sure wish I could mail you some. Getting really tired of half my day being used up by snowblowing, shoveling & coop chores. It's not doing a thing for my back either.
These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now!
Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING
Enjoy and pass on to your friends
Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING
Enjoy and pass on to your friends
Sorry about all your snow there Chickenlady. Just read in the paper today that we need at least 48 inches of snow to even help break our drought and that's not counting any snow we get FEb and on next year
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-syle house: "Talking Dog For Sale. He rings
the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever
sitting there.
"You ald?" he asks. "Yep", the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So,
what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no
time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms
with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping."
"I was one of the most valuable spies for eight years running. But the
jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger,
so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do
some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening
in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog. "Ten Dollars", the guy says.
"Ten Dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"
Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.
front of a broken down shanty-syle house: "Talking Dog For Sale. He rings
the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever
sitting there.
"You ald?" he asks. "Yep", the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So,
what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no
time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms
with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping."
"I was one of the most valuable spies for eight years running. But the
jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger,
so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do
some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening
in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog. "Ten Dollars", the guy says.
"Ten Dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"
Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.
Sorry twist, that's not good. We've only had snow for a week and a half. When it finally got here it has come in with a bang.
LOL sort of
Evolution in teaching math since the 1950s Wow, are we in Trouble.
1. Teaching Math In The 1950's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
2. Teaching Math In The 1960's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In The 1970's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In The 1980's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990's
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation
of our woodlands He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There
are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok.)
6. Teaching Math In The 2000's
Same question as number 5 but if you have special needs or just feel you need assistance because of race, color, religion, sex, age, childhood
memories, criminal background, then don't answer and the correct answer will be provided for you.
7. Teaching Math In 2017
Un hachero vende una carrtada de maderapara 100 pesos El costo de la producciones es 80 pesos. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
Evolution in teaching math since the 1950s Wow, are we in Trouble.
1. Teaching Math In The 1950's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
2. Teaching Math In The 1960's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In The 1970's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In The 1980's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990's
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation
of our woodlands He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There
are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok.)
6. Teaching Math In The 2000's
Same question as number 5 but if you have special needs or just feel you need assistance because of race, color, religion, sex, age, childhood
memories, criminal background, then don't answer and the correct answer will be provided for you.
7. Teaching Math In 2017
Un hachero vende una carrtada de maderapara 100 pesos El costo de la producciones es 80 pesos. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
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