Quote: It's not that I don't want to, I just can't figure out the most tactful way to do it. I can't fight fire with fire. The few times that they've said something directly to me, I've just stopped talking and eventually they apologized. One time I told my mom she was being unreasonable.
But where's the line between "that's the only mom you have" and "don't take nothing from nobody." I haven't figured that out yet.
And I have a tendency to hope for the best, even from the worst people, regardless of how many times they've been awful. I always think that the next time will be different. It's a difficult trait, but sometimes pays off.
Honesty is the best policy. Tell her that her comments are hurtful. Tell her that you love your husband and children and are happy, and the hurtful comments make you not want to be around her. Which makes you sad. The more simply and calmly you can make your statements, the better. Be prepared for some emotional reaction or attack, and just stay calm. When you can respond, explain that that's exactly what you are talking about and then excuse yourself. Not to be disrespectful, but it's kind of like training a dog. Being calm is best. Use positive reinforcement as much as possible (stay in the room with her) but there must be consequences when she crosses the line. Don't show anger, but calmly tell her you can't listen to it anymore and walk away for awhile. You must be confident of your boundaries and not let her make you feel like you're 12 years old again, which moms are good at doing. She needs to respect you.
