Have absolutely just had it; I am really really losing my mind...

[Momagain1]

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what happened?? I read your post didnt think anything wrong of it!!

hope its ok!

 

[Momagain1]

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You know, I'm not even sure they'd care if I wrote them a note or not...they'd probably view it as "she's justifying herself, or trying to at least"...

 

[debilorrah]

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You know, I'm not even sure they'd care if I wrote them a note or not...they'd probably view it as "she's justifying herself, or trying to at least"...

The note isn't for them. It's for you. A beginning to healing. You write the truth, they take it for whatever they think it's worth and you don't care because you did your part.

 

[benjoycei]

I know you probably feel a little slighted, but you know you did what you could. If others didn't see that, that is their problem. And I'd ask about family photos. But really stuff is just stuff. Be good to yourself and take care of your children, they need you more.

 

[redhen]

That has to be very hurtful... I'm sorry.

I'm not sure what to say, except that if your grandmother "wrote you out" of the will... honestly... she doesnt sound like a very good grandmother. Sorry to say that...

But maybe your Aunt had more to do with that??.. I'm almost betting on that...
And yes, IF she was SOOOOO taken care of by these other family members... WHY was there MOLDY food and unsafe food left for her to eat??
I WOULD say that to them.... !!!
and then, let it go.... just let it go.... move on and hug your children and husband...
I dont let toxic or hurtful people into my life.... life's just too short.

 

[wolftracks]

If they post picture on FB copy them. Get them printed up.

I have a FB account and rarely use it. I see too much of this kind of thing on it.

Right to no one but you about how you feel and that you hope the people who think bad of you will delete you as a friend, because you don't know who to trust and care about anymore.

I had a horrible stepdad, but his mother WAS my grandmother. There's an aunt, married to one of the sons, who had control of everything. She paid herself millions to care for my grandmother who she put in a home. Built a beautiful house in Aspen. Said my uncle made some good investments. Much have been since neither had worked in decades.

My brothers and sisters got money. I'm gonna brag. I was still the favorite, but the aunt got me written out. My siblings got pocket change since their dad had just died before my grandmother. And the whole family was told my grandmother was supporting my mom. All crap! I didn't care about the money, but there was something she had put away for me and it got sold. Cousins are doing really well with their money, but my siblings are all ill and stuggling. They got less than $100 a piece. A cousin bought a cable company. hmmmm..........musta been on sale.

My mom had enough insurance for a funeral. She didn't want one. She was cremated and wanted us to split the money that was left, but we needed closer and a place to say good bye, so there was a memorial and it was beautiful. My youngest sister and my 2 brothers put it together where I mentioned I wanted it. The rest of the money paid for a storage my mom had for years. The last time I talked to her was 2 days before she died. She begged me to make sure it all stayed safe, in the family and nothing to be sold. My sister paid it off until the money ran out. My youngest brother was always kind of my favorite. His name was on the storage. He wouldn't let anyone pay it. My husband told my sister 3 days before he died, not to worry, he'd pay it and move it. Didn't happen.

Everything that my mom wanted me to have was taken out of her house and put on the curb for anyone who wanted it. My other brother (ok these are on mom's side) needed help, but my dad died 9 days after my mom. I was a mess. Bill was taking care of me. Then Bill died. This brother who needed help was p****d off that I didn't run 100 miles within a week after my husband died to stop everything from happening. My sister was the only one of them to come to my husband's funeral, but I'm trash. Suits me fine. Less to buy at Christmas.

It took me 30 years to find my dad. Only got to go back and visit twice. Four more siblings. Just before my husband died I got an email asking for information. Had no idea what for. They made sure I got my share of an inheritance. I only got a small amount and used it to live on after my husband died (had the only income) but it didn't last long. Came right when I needed it though.

Death brings out the worse in people. You see their real colors and know where you fit in or don't. You know who to watch your back around. Those people aren't worth you making yourself sick over. They had lives they were living without your gramdmother, why were you supposed to give up your responsibilities to make life easier for them.

I hope you get your pictures. I've lost some over the years that can't be replaced, so I understand. Maybe start posting some you have and get them all doing it, Then copy and start ignoring them after that.

OK probably not much help. I tend to ramble. Sorry. Just wanted you to see that it happens a lot and someone can relate.

 

[memiller123]

Unfortunately, I've heard your story too many times. There are several reasons your family members are acting mean toward you. They might feel jealous that you did spend time with gramma and grampa and are lashing out at you to make themselves feel better. They might also be feeling guilty because they didn't spend enough time with them. Or they may just be seeing the "stuff" they can get out of the situation. Also, they were apparently not close enough to them to see the truth...that gramma was eating moldy food, etc. My grandma would talk about the wonderful meals she was preparing but it was all untrue. Anyone who would talk to her on the phone would have believed her, but those of us who actually went to her house (just like you did) and cleaned it out quickly saw the awful conditions she was living in.

Regardless, there's little you can do about the whole thing. People are going to believe what they want, no matter what the truth is. And most people are greedy and egocentric. The best thing for you to do is to take care of your immediate family and focus on them.

And I am a firm believer that no one should be on facebook. Everyone speaks their mind on facebook with no sense of accountability. How many of the folks on facebook who talk trash about other people would actually speak their written words to the person face-to-face? With facebook, you don't get to see the hurt you do others. You can post whatever you want whenever you want and not worry about the consequences. And most folks post before they stop and think about it.

So ditch the facebook, except to keep up with long distance friends. Spend more time with your chickens!! There is a verse in the Bible: be still and know that I am God. Religious or not, we need to just be still sometimes. Sit with your chickens and smile at their antics and enjoy your existence. Quit worrying about who said what on facebook!!! Your chickens love you more anyway!

And if you want a good laugh, get your chickens to go after your shoestrings. They will practically maul you trying to get that darn "worm" sticking out of your shoe! I did it a few days ago and they remember the next day and attacked my shoes again. I tried sandals, but they went after my toes! I mean, really, what is greater than that!! Find something everyday to laugh at and you will be amazed at the peace you will find.

 

[lockedhearts]

I agree with Debi, I do have a good relationship with my parents, but my sister and I....... not so much.....

Just remember, a day will come that they will have to answer for everything they have done in their lives. This is why I try to do the right things in my life, I figure anyone who has a problem with my life will have to answer for it later on.

 

[gritsar]

 

[darkmatter]

Momagain1........I empathize with you cause similar situations occurred when my father passed on and my mother is in a home now. Relatives------pretty much the same in all families. I sleep with a clear conscience, to those that looted & lied, karma is a real thing, I've seen too much to doubt it. Deal with what you have, appreciate what you have, ignore the &^%$&^%$&.