I know exactly how you feel.
My last incubation I had 3 out of 13 hatch, when I opened the 10 others and saw all the little guys dead in their shells I felt responsible. Like maybe if I was better experienced, or maybe if I had tried to assist hatching them, but I don't think there was anything I could have done, all advice was leave them alone and let nature take it's course.
Now I have a bator full that are due in eight days and last candling there wasn't much movement so I don't know if any of these ones will hatch.
There are mixed schools of thought here on BYC. Some are of the school that never opens the incubator and lets nature run its course. I understand that thought process and I don't criticize it, but I'm of the other school that says "my eggs, my choice", and if I want to open the incubator, I do so! And if I want to help a chick in distress, I do that too! I candle whenever I want to.
I breed and hatch Seramas, and they often need assistance. I have a lovely flock of 12 Call ducks that not a single one would have survived without my assistance. Granted, sometimes assisting is not the best choice, but I am prepared to accept the consequences of my actions if one hatches "deformed" or whatever the case may be. But I'm going to give it every chance possible!
I honestly don't mean to bash the "hands off" folks. They have their reasons, all well and good. But if you think you would feel better being "hands on", feel free to pop over to this thread, where hands-on folks are more than willing to help. Ultimately, I think we all have to follow our own hearts, and do what we each can live with.
https://www.backyardchickens.com/threads/hands-on-hatching-and-help.1081034/page-1135
