Help! My elderly mother is making me crazy!

[sourland]

She soonds like a lonely person. Can you get her involved in some senior activities?

65 Is way too young to be induging in such behavior.

 

[sourland]

Quote:
Sourland is 70 and he surely does not regard himself as 'elderly'.
Until that is, he looks in the mirror.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I think with all you have to do, and as little as she has to do, have her spend time at your house. Give her small chores. Have her fold the laundry, make a pie for the family dessert, of organize recipes; whatever. I think for many older people, they see their lives shrinking and they react with fear and anxiety. They aren't as mobile as they used to be, they have seen friends die, they no longer have a job to help define themselves, and they know they have most of their lives behind them. Have her do something real, that helps you and is with her abilities. It will make her feel needed, and therefore less needy... JMHO. Hope it works. And you definitely have my sympathy.

My mom is in assisted living, and I do lots of little errands for her. I think for her, it shows that she matters to me.

 

[NinnyGillaspie]

Thanks guys for your input. I did make the first move earlier and called her. Just to see if she's ok. Of course, she was short, blunt, and rude. It's Friday night, DH is home for the weekend, and our plans are to improve our coop/run in the AM. Thanks again.

 

[zippitydooda]

Quote:
OH NO!!! If 65 is elderly and close to death, I haven't got much longer..... so much to do, so much to see, so many people to drive crazy!!! LOL! I'm 53 already.....aaaaaaaaaaccckkkkkkkk!

I'm not making light of your frustrations, it just struck me funny that she thinks she is OLD. You be sure to tell her we are ALL dying. Some of us faster than others, and some of us know how it's gonna end.... but that we all end up in the same place and she should enjoy the days she has left instead of worrying about the very end. She's wasting the time she has left and should be out playing in the dirt, making a garden.... playing with the animals, enjoying every aspect. Maybe you could distract her by giving her a hen or two? Or maybe have her look after yours for a short time? Maybe she just needs a purpose....


Hugs to you.... hang in there!

 

[NinnyGillaspie]

OK yall, I called my Mama because I worry about her. She dissing me, so I have to know if she's okay. When I called, it took 12 rings for her to answer, but I let it ring. When she answered, I asked how her day was going, how she was feeling, etc... She now states she is having mini strokes with a BP of 118/72, and Blood sugar of over 300, can't walk, can't get out of her recliner. Wish my B/P was as good as hers. Lord help me. I told her that I loved her, and to call the Dr. on Monday. To the poster above, I have given her my best mini dachshund to keep her company, and she can't even do that!

 

[urban escapee]

sigh...my Mom is 65 and she keeps me so dang busy just doing stuff. I just moved within 500ft of her house and since I am forcably retired at 44 (at least for the time being) we keep each other company. If anybody tells my mom she is OLD I would have to shoot them in the foot for it. LOL

 

[zzGypsy]

old is not the same for everyone, that's for sure. my mom is in her mid eighties and she's got 8 grandkids, ages 4 to 12, that she watches in her house after school every day. and has them for 3 solid weeks in the summer so their parents can take a break. this summer she took 4 of them on a cross-country 3-week bus tour of historic sites. some folks are just older than others, never mind their actual age.

to the OP, sounds like a good management technique. stay with it, she's got some habits that may be tough to change, and might just have to be managed and boundaries enforced. hang in there.

 

[NinnyGillaspie]

Thanks Friends. I appreciate all your replies. I'll just keep on loving her, and vent here. It's been very nice to be able to talk to others about my problem here. You've given me lots of encouragement.

 

[Beekissed]

I admire your willingness to make changes to effect a positive change in your mother! Even if she can't change, someone has to if you are both to remain sane. Kudos to you!