Help! My elderly mother is making me crazy!

[zippitydooda]

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LOL, instead of giving her a living thing, maybe you could distract her by giving her a project. How about having her fill out a "family tree" and write a little something that she remembers about each person in the family? Still I think she needs some kind of distraction... When someone has health issues and focuses on them they seem HUGE. If they have something else to do (maybe go through photo albums and label who is who) they don't have time to worry so much about the illnesses they have (or imagine).

My mom, who is 75 is the opposite. I can't get her to stop climbing ladders and mowing the lawn and stripping wallpaper. Sheesh. They are just like kids, huh?

Hugs to you

edited for spelling errors (oops)

 

[Beekissed]

Same here...the Ol' Bat is 77 and can run circles around me...and does nearly every day. IF you can keep her home long enough....she goes out line dancing and square dancing three days a week.

That is AFTER she walks on her tread climber and bounces on her mini-tramp...then carries in her firewood.

She is always on the roof, on a ladder, underneath the house....you name it, ya gotta put a bell on that woman to keep track of her!

 

[zzGypsy]

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[NinnyGillaspie]

Good Morning everyone. It's been raining like crazy here in Huntsville, Texas, with cool temps all week. My Mother called this am at 4:20, crying hysterically that she was sick and for me to come fast. She was out shopping yesterday, and was doing great. Anyway, I got dressed and sped over there. Guess what she needed? She needed me to find her housecoat and rolodex.! I suggested she maybe get her Dr. to hospitalize her for a few days, run tests, and hopefully find out what is going on. She quickly told me I could go on back home, that she was not going to listen to any of that.

So I'm back home. Heaven Help Me. I'm wound up tighter than an 8 day clock.

 

[NinnyGillaspie]

Suddenly my Mama is better. She met a lady who lives down the road, who is from Illinois. She took them shopping yesterday. Her 3 teenage kids, and the lady's husband. She met this lady through a telephone friend, and ironically, she has the same first name as me. When I arived at her house this morning at 4:30 am, she told me to go on home to my husband, that she had a friend coming over. My Mama is very easily influenced, and I pray that this family doesn't take advantage of her kindness.

 

[ChicknThief]

Oh. Dear.

I have been following this and I feel your pain. I would keep a close eye on this new situation and make sure that your mother isn't being exploited.

 

[NinnyGillaspie]

Oh yes, I'm watching. The new friend and her girls are putting up her Christmas Tree this evening. I can't do anything but keep an eye on her. She always thinks she's ok,but in reality she's not even close.

 

[NinnyGillaspie]

Hey Yall, new update on my Mama. Today she is being very nasty. Gave away the dining table and chairs that I wanted to her new friend, plus a dresser I had dibs on. When I asked her why, she said I was just jealous of her new friend. I just don't want my Mama to be taken advantage of. This new situation is crazy.

 

[Beekissed]

Sounds like your mom is still using grade school techniques to bring her "friends" into line with doing what she wants. Ignore it. I'm sure you already have a table and chairs at home...it's just stuff.

Let her take a fit, let her be taken advantage of...sounds like she never got to learn real life lessons because her family has always jumped to her every whim and coddled her. It's her money, her stuff, and her life...she needs to learn how to live it without manipulating her family.

I strongly suggest stepping back and letting her learn to cope on her own, don't let her see that anything she is doing is upsetting you and just let her get tangled up in her own jump rope....it's long overdue, by the sound of it.

 

[SillyChicken]

I think I'd be making a little visit to her "new" friend when mom's not around, and set up a few ground rules. Check them out and make sure they're not the type to take advantage of her. She (mom) does sound very spoiled and enabled/manipulative, but also very childish and could be taken advantage of. But her mental capacity could also be diminishing and she could get herself into a predicament. You don't want her to end up pennyless and coming to live with you do you? If anything, you'll be letting them know you're watching out for your mom.

Though it is just stuff that she's using against you, and I'm sure it hurts.... it is still just stuff.

Tell her you're hurt that she would put her new friend above her own daughter that has been there for her, but that you love her regardless and you will still be there for her when she's given all her things and money away to her friends and even when the friends leave after taking everything from her... you'll still be there for her.

Guilt trips don't have to be a one way ticket!