Help! My elderly mother is making me crazy!

[cassie]

If the land is paid for, and you have proof of that, I don't think she can withold free title. An appointment with a real estate attorney would be money well spent. It sounds like she may be coming down with some form of dementia.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
One issue could be if the land was not legally divided into separate parcels. DEFINITELY time needed with an attorney.

 

[zzGypsy]

attorney. even if it makes her mad and she gives away all her stuff.
in some states contracts like that can be recorded against the deed. that way should she try to sell or give away the land, that notation will prevent clear title being granted until your paid for parcel is resolved.
you will need to get your paperwork together to prove you satisfied the selling price.

I *would*not* be paying rent on it, it controverts the proof that it's paid for already.

attorney, fast. you may well lose your home if you don't.

as for giving her stuff away, there's only 3 conditions:
1) she's competent and can do any darn thing she likes with it
2) she's incompetent, and you get that proven in court and get stewardship awarded to you (there are a LOT of hassels that go with this, typically including monthly accounting to a court on how her money has been spent and assets transfered, or permission from the court required in advance for any spending.)
3) your state may have elder abuse laws under which the new 'friends' can be prosecuted after sufficient harm has been done to her assets.

if she's competent and elder abuse laws don't apply, don't expect to see any of her stuff come to you unless you cater to her every whim. and possibly not even then. that's the way it works when you make a deal with nasty controlling people.

 

[NinnyGillaspie]

Hi Yall, yes, the land was was surveyed, and she has the deed free and clear to my acre. It's also in her will that the land is mine. She's not threatening to take the acre, just behaving like a spoiled brat. If she did start threatening, I would get my records together, and RUN to an attorney. I am gonna remove myself emotionally from this toxic situation for a while. As far as the material stuff, it's a slap in the face, but I'll manage. She'd probably hold that over my head too. I'm better off without it.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Until a person either dies or becomes legally incompetant, they can change their will. As was stated, you need to have legal help in making sure that the deed shows that you have claim to it. You may be able to file a lein on the title so that nothing can change hands without the lein being satisfied. Your best bet is an attorney who specialises in real estate matters--turn it all over to htem and let them do their thing while you take an emotional vacation from thinking about it all. I also agree that you should cease paying the "rent."

 

[zzGypsy]

Quote:
THIS!!!!
I just finished a class that dealt with things like deeds and property ownership, wills, etc.
you canNOT believe the cost and unintended results we heard tales of from people who did not have this sort of thing clearly, legally sorted out before the parent died or became incocmpetent. the COURT ends up deciding, and the he said/she said makes no difference EVEN when everyone agrees... there are state laws and federal laws and even if the judge believes you, it may not matter AT ALL.

if it's not in your name, you don't own it. if she were to die, or change her mind and change the will, or have a stroke or some other health event that made her unable to communicate, you would be out of luck. done. over.

property ownership needs title. anything less will get you a probate fight an big attorney fees at best, and complete lost of any ownership interest in the land at worst.

seriously, get a lawyer. today.