Help they won't stop bullying my sister!!!!!

[dave_Cash69]

yeah id have to agree
teach your little sister kung-fu

 

[wings]

That's terrible!
Give her a hug (

), and tell her she's better than those B*****S!!!

My mom would say to give them a GOOD, HARD

!!!

 

[mom'sfolly]

Unfortunately, this is very typical girl bullying. However, some of what they are doing is actually good from your point of view. If they are texting, putting stuff on myspace and facebook, then there is a paper trail. Document it!!!!!! Then take it to the parents, the schools, and the authorities.

First, make sure your sister loses the cell phone. Having these girls text her at anytime is probably already causing issues at school. With the phone she can never get away from them. Its like they are constantly following her.

Second, make sure these girls can't be "friends" anymore in the online spaces. Then they cannot post to her site. If they are putting the lies and names out there for the world to see, make sure that the people who run the sites are aware of the problem. Take the stuff they put on these sites to parents and school authorities. Make someone pay attention.

This is the kind of bullying that get a girl labeled the "class slut" or the "druggie" or the "lesbo" or whatever. These can be very damaging for a young girl, particularly a shy girl.

Do not let her get into a physical altercation with these brats on school property. That immediately gets her into serious trouble; the schools silly zero tolerance policies will blame her.

Have a serious talk with your parents. They need to be involved in dealing with this.

 

[chickiebaby]

In addition to keeping notes from myspace or whatever stupid, invasive waste o' time site, your parents could keep a log detailing exactly what happens every day. I agree also about getting rid of the cel.

But your parents should also consider hiring a lawyer to go talk to the stupid morons running the class or school and explain that they are violating the law by not protecting your sister. Two or three hours of a lawyers time would be well worth it.

Homeshooling is just not an option for everyone. It worked for my son for a few years in the middle grades and was perfect for him, but neither of my daughters have ever wanted to homeschool. And many paretns cannot do it for personal or economic of other reasons, I don't think we should all be piling on to tell the kid to homeshool.

Neither do I like the idea of telling this brave young woman SHE has to leave school because OTHERS are nasty lawbreaking aggressors. What kind of message is that?

When the powers that be don't interfere, bullying only gets worse. It will not stop on its own as it is being, de facto, condoned by those in power.
There was an awful case around here that escalated into major ongoing physical abuse. It ended only when a lawyer was called in and threatened to sue the school. Newspapers got involved. It was a big deal, the school got sued, the town's lawyers clamped down on the bureaucrats running the school, and the schools finally got the message and have substantially reformed in this regard.

One thing is for sure: this will not end on its own.

Brave kid to be talking about it, though. You keep reminding your sister it is not her fault and has nothing to do with her. She must fight it, with appropriate legal measures. I'm so glad she has you in her corner.

 

[Blackbird]

That is true but sometimes its the only option, I was being harrassed daily, by 50+ students and several teachers. We reported one teacher about what he did to me and they assured us they would fire him but they lied and never did. I left, and after 3 years eventually went back to that school but left after a week and a half because nothing had changed. I tried commiting suicide several times partially because of it. My brother got the worst of it but he never left the school and graduated from there, so yes it isn't for everyone.
Contacting people higher up also did not help and backfired against my brother and I.

 

[sewchick]

Quote:
I agree with you. I know from experience it will get worse not better. There may come a day when she needs to defend herself. The only reason I did not get picked on was because of my size and strength not because I was popular. I used to keep an eye out for this younger boy on the bus who would get bullied daily because he was tall and skinny. He would outgrow his clothes in a couple of months time. It was horrible watching them being hateful to him. I sat with him each day and made sure they did not bother him. I really thought they might start pounding on him. I made sure I was the last one on the bus and would not say a word. I often wonder what he must have thought.

That was 40 years ago. Things haven't really changed all that much. There's still bullies!!

Some young girls are just hateful. They do it because they can. Not much she can about it. Too bad she could not get an older bigger friend. I hope she hangs in there and finishes school. She's lucky to have you looking out for her. I hope things work out for her. I would keep a journal of everything you know that is going on. It will come in handy someday. The lawyer idea is real good. I would never have thought of that.

 

[Beekissed]

If its a small, rural school the teachers are full aware of what is happening and are turning a blind eye because of relationships in the community with the parents,or parents are on the school board or in their church, etc. etc. It happend to my son from the time he hit the little hometown school until I pulled him out and sent him elsewhere. We complained, we documented, we took it to the school board.....I had school board members calling my house threatening me! The principal and the coach threatened me!

The last incident involved this same group of boys cornering my boy in the showers and pouring a shampoo bottle filled with their urine on his head. The coach made the main boy AND MY SON run laps!

It won't be stopped by the school or teachers or the parents. My boy wasn't a fighter and was a big, ol' goofy sweet kid.....just the kind bullies like. He didn't know how and just couldn't learn the proper way to treat a bully even though I coached and coached him. No, this little girl shouldn't have to fight her way through school and, if she can't learn to be dominant in her attitude and stance and to control the room, she needs to be pulled out. I had to do it with my sweet son and it was better. We eventually moved away because the next son had to deal with the same bullies and the same stupid, complacent teachers.

It all boils down to the fact that nice kids are the minority now and the mean kids rule the school. Its just about everywhere. In our new school it started the first day...different son...different attitude. He wasn't bigger than them but he stepped up on the first day and protected someone else and backed them down. Took a couple of times to drive it home but he is now in the pecking order and doesn't have to fight.

Having never picked on another kid, I cannot imagine what anyone gains from doing so. I just tell my kids that "hurt" people, hurt people. More than likely these kids have horrible home lives and have to make someone miserable to feel good about themselves.

 

[therealsilkiechick]

wow, u've had alot of good info given here. hmm... what i can add as a mother of 5 with 4 of em in elem and middle schools....

first of all i as mom would raise heck and i have had to for my oldest son. alot of times teacher jabber or kid's r cornered when no adults r around mabe adults r not aware of the sitiation. talk to the guidance office and princple make sure they know what it going on and i'd let it be known if it continues charges r being filed.

here we have a no bullying policy and we have actual cops patrol the middle and high schools. check with ur school see what there rules r. here any bullying is not tollerated it is automatic suspensions on both sides in any altercatiuons and parents can have the other students arrested. they have tried to suspend my son but ya know that's when i go off all the more,lol. noone hits my kid and gets away with it he has a right to defend himself from people slamming his head off of pop machines, ect. don't back down and stay strong for that girl and if she sees the adults and those who love her standing up for her to protect her in time she will too when she is ready just like my son did. since he has stood up for himself noone messes with him and he is in 8th this year and everyone loves him he is one of the more popular ones.

get ur sister into counciling, talk to her and be there to love and support her and make sure she knows it is NOTHING she has done those girls r who have the problems not her. if it continues tell the school u r going due process and it should get them acting fast to stop it, they will not like those words so use it as a last resort.

not sure about face book but i have a myspace and on there u can control alot of stuff she should be able to block it so they don't bother her but before i'd do that i'd print it all and make a report to the police and i believe the cell phone company can step in also if it is threats. on a regular phone u can trace them back and press charges not sure if that works on a cell or not but call the cell company and report it and ask how to stop or block it. i'd also report the cell messages to the police and i'd file charges min of stalking and harrasing and anything else that may fit. let the police record all the messages or texts. if they r leaveing voice messages they r admiscaple in court becaue they know they r being recorded before they leave it. texts i'm not sure if they r admisaple but if it is all logged and u sign it it can be used in court as a record of it if u do it in a journal and log all info.

can't think of anything else off my head but mabe something in this can help.
silkie

 

[The Chicken Lady]

I think you need to sit down with your sister and watch the video "Odd Girl Out." You can find it on YouTube. It is very emotional, but it describes EXACTLY the same kinds of things your sister is going through. I showed the video to my freshman students in our school's freshman orientation class. It's okay for a middle school student to see. You need to watch the video with her, then talk with her about what you saw.

Pretend you are a bully and role-play with her. Have her practice potential responses until they become natural.

Get her on Facebook so that she can social network but choose the friends she wants to be able to see her page and post on her wall. No one can harass you on Facebook unless you let them. Delete her MySpace page. Delete their names and numbers from her phone. She needs to break ties with these people. They are liars and fake.

In addition, kids who are bullied constantly may be in danger of taking their own lives. You need to point-blank ask her if she has ever considered taking her own life over this. If she has, or if you notice any signs that she may be planning to, take them seriously and get her help from the school counselor or social worker. Remember the girl who killed herself over the MySpace harassment? That's not necessarily uncommon.

I'm very sorry you're going through this with her. The good thing is that she has you by her side. She will remember your help for the rest of her life.

 

[cjeanean]

I am very protective of my sisters. I wouldn't be able to put up with it, and the parents/school would be getting a call from ME, not just my mom. I was bullied in school, not too bad, but it was cause I didn't have any "new" trendy clothes and I was fat. One day these girls spent the class putting gum in my long hair, and I didn't find out until I tried brushing my hair. I was in 8th grade, and I got back at them by bringing a pheasant foot to school and using the tendons to make the foot grab their hands and hair LOL. I don't know what to tell you, but make sure your sister knows how much you care about her. What comes around definately goes around to agree with the other poster. I married the school "bad boy", the one EVERYONE wanted, and I was with him when he turned "good" lol, which really chaps their hides. They all got pregnant very young and as far as I know aren't married. Good luck, and tell sis we all love her!!!