Help they won't stop bullying my sister!!!!!

[rebecca10782]

My God I am so sorry to hear this! First of all, I know this sounds like a bad idea but it is necessary. She should enroll in a self defense class. I went through this with a couple girls in high school. I am not encouraging violence at all. But in today's world, it is absolutely necessary. They might not be showing physical violence now, but once they hit high school, they will. Parents advise to tell a teacher. That will only get her bullied worse. If one eventually gets violent with her, the only way to stop it is to beat her down. I wish I could make girls like your sister understand that bullies are nothing but miserable losers that will most likely grow up to stay miserable losers. You should help her build up her confidence by encouraging her to start a physical activity, learning music, whatever she is passionate about. In my opinion, myspace, video games and all that stuff is terrible for people. You don't get any fresh air or exercise. The more time you spend sitting doing that stuff, the more likely you are to become depressed. She needs to understand that these people mean nothing and the so called friends of hers that ignore her when these girls tell them to, mean nothing either. It is a fact that people that are happy with themselves are not cruel to other people. That is why I think she will find good friends on a sports team, etc. Honestly today if someone treated me like that I would laugh at them because it is so pathetic that people act like this. . I wish I could have known that years ago

People are so cruel to others, I just can't understand it. If I could confront these girls that are doing this to your sister,

I became very depressed at about your sisters age. Not because I was bullied but because I was ignored. I would say something to someone and they didn't even notice. That's how invisible I was. Not only was I ignored by kids but the principle of the school was extremely abusive to me (catholic school.) I wasn't doing well in school and I would miss alot because I was so depressed I wouldn't get out of bed. Instead of helping me, this woman yelled at and humiliated me in front of everyone. Now, the kids that ignored me made me feel bad but if I saw that woman today, I don't think I could keep myself from seriously hurting her. If this keeps going on, she will become depressed and very angry (I was proof

) I had severe anger problems from holding everything in. Half of my anger was from noone defending me. My parents clearly knew how abusive this woman was to me, but never did anything. You are a great brother for looking out for her. You are so sweet

My brother and I didn't get along at all when we were younger and have just recently become very close. It took awhile though, I am 26 and he's 31

Try to spend time with her, believe me, it is the most important thing in the world to love and spend time with your family.

 

[ninny]

Quote:
Actually i'm her older sister

 

[monarc23]

I was bullied from 10th to my senior year.... just a group of girls that decided they didnt like me....I never did a thing to them. It was bad and the principal got involved and after that it atleast got managable.

 

[rebecca10782]

Quote:
Actually i'm her older sister

Oh, sorry. I don't know why I assumed you were her brother

Either way, you are a good sibling

 

[Mattemma]

How is your sister doing now?

 

[GrayDragon]

Bullies like this are pack animals.

She needs to catch one or two of them alone and have a 'talk' with them, making sure that said 'talk' will repeat itself as necessary.


Also, tell her not to punch anyone in the mouth, no matter how tempting. She'll do more damage to her hand than the satisfaction is worth. Not that I know from experience or anything.

 

[journey11]

The most important thing you guys can do for your sister is to help build up her self-esteem. You might consider too, having a family talk about the situation or going together to a counselor so she can talk it out and learn more about how bullies work and why they are the way that they are, emphasizing that the problem lies within THEM and not her! Do all you can to help prevent her from feeling inadequate or inferior. If she can stand firm on her own best qualities, their attacks will be less effective. And if she has even one true, good buddy she can depend on, it will help. She also needs to know what kind of bullying requires her to tell someone and get intervention. Kids can do some wicked things to each other. She needs to know that she doesn't have to be a victim. With her self-confidence bolstered, they will eventually lose interest in her and leave her alone if they feel they can no longer get a rise out of her or take advantage of her. It takes a lot of growth process in a teenager to be able to look at this kind of thing rationally and not turn it destructively inward. Talking about it will help her gain perspective and be more prepared to deal with their cruel jokes without being gullible. Severe bullying will require help from the school or other outside sources. Picking is one thing, making one fear for their health and well being is another. It is good that you are aware of the situation and trying to get involved for your sister's best interest.

 

[They Call Me Pete]

I've only read a few pages but I think mom/dad needs to get involved. Contact the parents of the bullies and let them know what their daughters are doing. When all else fails open up a can of whoop butt. If I got word of my daughters being bullied I'd be knocking down the door of the "bullies" house or rip the door off the house to get their attention but that's the teenager in me. Hope you/sister can get this ironed out quick.
Pete

Edited for language. ~Lisa~​

 

[agnes_day]

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
ABSOLUTELY! For matters outside of the school's control, call the police and insist upon a report. For anything within the school's control, first try to resolve the bullying within the system (teacher, then principal, then school district administration) then if that doesn't work file criminal complaints with the police, and also contact a lawyer to see about filing suit against the perpetrators' parents and also the school district. Chances are a strongly worded letter indicating an intent to sue if the bullying is not sufficiently addressed will spur the district to action. This is a part of the scenario that led up to Columbine and other school shootings. For the school to not address the bullying puts them liable for any consequences.

Parents and society as a whole need to address bullying and send the message that it will not be tolerated in any form.

The martial arts idea is a good one, as is horse back riding or any pursuit your sister would enjoy and be good at, and also be in a non-threatening environment.

I remember reading that there are characteristics that are common to many victims of bullying. Learning to identify those traits and definitively NOT display them could be helpful.