How do men do it????? But wait! There's more! Pg.3

[OrpingtonManor]

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And I can crack two eggs into the frying pan, at the same time.

You win!

Red, you give in too easily!

 

[redhen]

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You win!

Red, you give in too easily!

Heeey.. Are you calling me easy??

 

[KBChicks]

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The malady you are referring to is called "selective hearing"

This very common affliction affects adult males engrossed in any activity in which they do not wish to be interrupted.
Televised sporting events appear to be the number one cause of this medical event. In truly severe cases the subject does develop the ability to respond to the human voice.

DO NOT BE FOOLED

This is simply a defense mechanism of the disease. The disease will train the subject to respond with one word affirmative answers.
Okay - Yeah - and Sure are the top 3 responses. However your male may develop a response unique to himself.

VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!

The only sure way to know if your male is infected is to test the subject while the TV is on.

Asking an absurd question (Honey, can you please lick the dust of the cat?) or making an absurd statement (honey, I'll be in the Bahamas with the Mailman for a week, see you when I get back)
should elicit a response of shock. However if you receive any type of one word affirmative answer then he is infected.



--------This malady can also infect teenagers male and female--------------------


WARNING - THERE IS NO KNOWN CURE AT THIS TIME

The only way to know for sure that the subject has understood a word you have spoken is to maintain direct eye contact during the course of the entire conversation.
If you break direct eye contact at any point then you have lost him and must start over from the beginning.

KEEP YOUR SENTENCES SHORT AND SIMPLE - too many words can cause the infected to become aggravated and NEVER, NEVER NEVER attempt a conversation when his team is in the end zone.


Good Luck and may the force be with you

I've found that Victoria Secret commercials have the same effect as sports.

 

[OrpingtonManor]

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Red, you give in too easily!

Heeey.. Are you calling me easy??

whoooo, meeee?????

 

[Tala]

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I say he knew just was waiting for you. My hubby starts yelling the dogs getting ready to puke. If he does not make it outside I have to clean it up or risk him adding to it.

We were taking chicks to meet a guy that was buying them. He was holding one he picked up out of the box. Well you know what happened. It poo'd on the car seat. You would have thought it was the end of the world. He started gagging and freaking out. I calmly got a napkin out of the glove box and wiped it up. Still feaking he said that was so gross now we have to clean the seats I smile and say aint the first time.

Sounds like my hubby. I get all the pet messes, coz hubbs only makes them bigger.

However, if HE makes some childish mess, HE can clean it up and at least he usually does that part. However, I wish he had a little sense about some things. I made SURE he wore a crappy cheap t-shirt to work on his leaky transmission with my dad (this is the guy who wore a more expensive Coolmax type work-specific shirt to change out a CV axle......

) soooooo he comes home wearing something else and says "the shirt is soaked in tranny fluid, it's in my truck, what do you want me to do with it?" and I"m like.....JUST THROW IT AWAY! Sheesh. One cheap undershirt is NOT worth getting my washer greasy inside!!

If left to his own devices, he might have tried to wash it WITH other clothes.....correction, he would have PUT it in the washer for ME to wash.....he's allergic to turning the machine on. Anyways, good thing he asked!!!

 

[chickaddict]

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hubby knows exactly how I feel - I read my response on pg 7 to him and he's still giggling.



I did have to wait until the commercial was on to get him in here though.

Monday night football is on

 

[Royd]

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And I can crack two eggs into the frying pan, at the same time.

me, too! (a sad testimony to my high school years spent working at McDonald's)

and, I can use a power drill in one hand and a power driver in the other.

now, if I could just find a third hand for holding the screw.

I'm calling bs on the two handed electric tool operation. One set of eyes, one point of focus. Of course, the drills I own could end up breaking your wrist or your thumb, if not properly controlled, with both hands.

 

[OrpingtonManor]

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me, too! (a sad testimony to my high school years spent working at McDonald's)

and, I can use a power drill in one hand and a power driver in the other.

now, if I could just find a third hand for holding the screw.

I'm calling bs on the two handed electric tool operation. One set of eyes, one point of focus. Of course, the drills I own could end up breaking your wrist or your thumb, if not properly controlled, with both hands.

okay, okay..... I don't use them at the same time. But, I can use any tool with either hand. Does that count?

 

[33yardbirds]

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Thank goodness I have a DH who actually cares - especially since I listen to him when he wants to talk about work or whatever else is on his mind. Mutual respect was part of the agreement to get married, we are both interested in what's going on with the other.

Unfortunately, DH doesn't hear well, so he misses the fun parts of having pets.

Yep... My Fiance and I have a mutual respect thing going, she listens to me. I listen to her, etc. We both agreed when we get married we would ask each other before spending money (depending, I'm not going to care much about 20 dollars worth of gas. We're mainly talking about stuff we don't exactly need or that costs a lot), you name it. Kind of a "equality thing" I guess ya could say in our relationship.. I would say we generally get along more than most couples (not to sound like I'm bragging). Wonder if we've got something there? Really even if she didn't listen to me, I'd still want to hear about her day, even if it were just the "same ol' same ol'."

-Daniel

You can all tell me about it after 35 yrs.

 

[woodmort]

I came in on page 8 of this thread but read enough to see that we males aren't coming off too well. OK, but every story has two sides. We have 5 cats, two of which are long-hair. Now if you know cats you know that, from time to time, they ingest hair which will not digest so the only relief is to cough it up. With long-hairs this is a more frequent event that short hairs but nonetheless happens often enough. Now I am hard of hearing, mostly in my right ear but the other one as well and wear aids during the day which I take off in the evening. My DW is also HOH but not nearly as bad. At any rate I am more apt to hear a cat "york up" (that is the scientific term according to our vet) a hairball almost any place in the house whereas my DW will have one toss their goodies on her shoe and miss it entirely. Now I used to think this was a hearing problem but I have now figured out that it is a case of "Whoever hears it gets to clean it up."