How old before leaving kids "home alone"?

[Ellie_NY_chick]

Sorry it took so long to see your post, Alaskan!

What web site? does it list all states?

That is so interesting....that Maryland is 8 and Illinois is 13. Wow!

I know... I'm still thinking "Wow" at the cop who left the kid alone because he wasn't "surrounded by knives"! Anyway, I googled it and found separate websites for Maryland and Illinois. I didn't delve further than that. My stepson is 22 now, so worrying about that stuff is a faint memory, thank goodness.

Interesting that you can't even leave them in the car... I do that all the time when running errands.

My Mom never would have gotten any shopping done if she had to drag all of us through the store. We were always waiting in the car, even after my goofy cousin put my aunt's car in gear and rolled it down a hill once! (Yes, he was hurt, and yes, the car was trashed!)

When I was in the first grade, I used to walk all over town with my best friend. We'd be out for hours and no one blinked an eye. When I think about that now I just shiver thinking what could've happened to us.

On the matter of responsible children, my BF started working in the fields when he was 10, and bought his first vehicle, a p/u truck, when he was 12. He wasn't even old enough to drive the thing. BTW, in Kansas you can start driving at age 14.​

 

[BayCityBabe]

I think that it is just TERRIBLE to leave children alone when they are 7 or 8 - TERRIBLE. That said, sometimes this is a terribly hard world. If parents cannot find a sitter and must work to feed their kids, I say "Do what you must." I know that my mom, divorced & poor, left us alone from time to time. However, there are too many parents who like to say that their little Chuckie is just "sooo mature" as if that absolves them of their responsibility.
The latchkey kids that I knew - especially the ones with money and privilege - managed to get into serious mischief. Not that the majority of the potsmoking and YOUNG SEX (13y.o./ 14 y.o!) ever made it on the parents' radar. But, still!

 

[czilas]

Here is a website showing age limits listed by state:
http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

 

[MoonbeamQueen]

Depends on the kid/kids in question, local laws, safety of your area, etc... My brother and I were 'latch-key' kids when we were in grade school (in the 70's) as were several other kids in the neighborhood. There were, however, lots of stay at home moms in the neighborhood, too, in the event we ever needed them. I don't recall we ever did. At 10 (little brother was 7), I often had to get dinner started for my mom. Such as prepping the potatoes for baking and mixing up the meatloaf stuff. Seems like I even popped them into the oven. By the time I was 16 we were occasionally left on our own overnight. I was fine except I couldn't control my bratty brother at that point. I recall calling the police over one night to have them send home all little bro's buds. I was pretty sure my parents wouldn't have been keen on the idea of a house full of teenagers with no adults present! Our daughter was about 11 when we started letting her stay home by herself for short periods during the day. Now, at 19, she housesits by herself occasionally. Next month she'll have the house/dogs/cat/chickens/guineas/watering/etc to herself while my husband and I are on vacation for 10 days. I'm sure it will be fine. The neighbors are all great and Granddad is just 10 miles away. Cell phone? Yea, right! I let my ex-husband provide that luxury when she was 14 or so, he wanted to be the 'cool' parent anyway so, hey, his dime! But in my house I made the rules about it and had no qualms taking it as a punishment if necessary. Lots of things to consider when making decisions like this...are any of us 'perfect parents'? Nah, but I think most of us do the best we can! And we all generally turn out pretty good sooner or later!

 

[chickenfanatic]

Quote:
couldnt have said it better myself miss prissy

 

[SandraMort]

Rhett&SarahsMom :

According to my mom I was 11.

I trust my almost 10 year old alone at home, but not for babysitting.

I am also wondering ,,, since I just my husband and I were just talking about it, and I just read an article on "what age is appropriate" for giving a kid a cell phone.

If my kids start school this fall (we've been homeschooling), we'll probably give them cell phones. They would be 7.5 and 10. But it's very different than a normal school and I doubt there are any rules against phones (or ipods or laptops) in school.

She has to wit til she is at least 10. If she still wants them and can take care of them. Then she can get her ears pierced.

Heh. None of my kids have been interested in earrings once I explained that they are cutting a hole in the earlobe.​

 

[SandraMort]

OH, and NYS (where I live) has no minimum age for latchkey kids.

 

[CATRAY44]

If the child is mature and willing to follow the rules for safety, I think 10 for a short time, and not at night, is fine. I alway made them stay inside the house, lock the doors, no cooking and no phone answering unless it was family calling (caller id.). I also left phone numbers of emergency contacts who were close by. I think 12 is usually an ok age to start short term, day time babysitting.

We live in the country and my kids are "school choice", so I have to get them to and from a bus stop which is a couple of miles from our house and on a dirt road. They each have a cell phone for that reason. They have done really well with the prepaid phones, which can be fairly inexpensive. They each started out with about 15 minutes of talk time, emergency only. They did so well, that they all ended up building minutes from roll over unused minutes. I never wanted them stuck somewhere unable to make contact. I also liked the fact that if they were ever at someone's house (I do check out the families before I let my kids play at people's homes) and something going on that shouldn't, they could slip into a bathroom and call me without attracting a lot of attention. Without being paranoid, I think we have to remember it is not the same world we grew up in. We have also had tornadoes hit near my older kid's school. I was really glad they had a cell phone (kept turned off till needed.) at the time.


MP3 players are just today's culture's turn table and tape player, lol. They don't have to have the expensive ones, and we work out the guidelines for what is appropriate to place on them. They all know that if something is put on the players that is over the line we have made, the player will be gone.

 

[SandraMort]

Reading some of the replies...

I don't consider a cell phone a PRIVILEGE. If I'm not supervising my children, I need to be able to contact them. Perhaps the problem is a fundamental lack of trust of confidence in the safety of my children if they are with other adults, but that's not my children's faults. Totally for my peace of mind. It also matters that we won't have a landline for them to use.

When (not if) I get my children cell phones, they will have a plan that only gives them a few minutes a month to use. I pay $2 extra for "Family Allowances" with T-mobile, a plan that lets me assign minutes to each member of the family plan. When they run out of minutes, they can't make more calls until the parent (me!) allocates more. Time limits, text messaging, incoming and outcoming calls to/from non-approved numbers, and other things can all be managed through a web site. I think that's a pretty good deal for $2.

They don't even need minutes, since the cell phone is primarily for calling/getting calls from home or my mother (those numbers won't count against the minutes, since they're within T-mobile). They don't *KNOW* any phone numbers other than ours and my mother's, but once school starts, I know that will change.
Their ability to AIM, text or picture message is not going to be capped unless it interferes with their ability to participate in required activities, as I pay for unlimited usage for everybody on my family plan. Yes, those *ARE* privileges.

As for the MP3 players, yes, those can be status symbols, but for my kids, they're just gadgets to help pass boring car or train rides. I almost wish they got into the status aspect -- they might take better care of them!

Oh, and I can tell you, my kids won't be getting status symbol phones. When asked what her dream phone would be like, my daughter said she wants a qwerty. Dream on or start saving, kid!

 

[SandraMort]

Quote:
I gotta be honest

I got the Family Allowance system to keep DH from running up a bill! My kids? SO not worried!

It's a different world out there. I walked and rode my bike places and at ages I wouldn't even consider for my kids.

Agreed. When dh tells me where he used to bike as a kid, I start hyperventilating. I get even by telling him about my public transportation adventures in NYC.

ETA- My kids have internet access at school and I know many kids have access at public libraries. At home, I monitor access, but even my 2yr old likes PBSkids.org

Yup. Here too. When I move, I'll have less access to the computers they use (back injury) so we're installing a remote control program that lets me peek in at any time and take over what they're doing. I have already told them -- I wouldn't sneak around and lie -- but they know the internet is a prilvilege that comes in stages and they haven't earned the right to online privacy from their parents yet.​