husband being shipped out with marines

[Becky89*]

Everything is in order and I took Josh to meet his troop at 8pm.

*starts crying but tries to stay strong* I don't know what I am going to do without him. Josh is my rock, my shoulder to lean on he always has been. I don't know what I am going to do.

I am sorry for breaking down but its just now starting to kick in that he's gone and he's not coming back for quite awhile.

Josh sang me this song this morning when we were snuggling, its one of his favorites, now I can't get it out of my head. The main parts he sang to me are in bold

Rockaby Lullaby
By Shawn Mullins

she grew up with
the children of the stars
in the hollywood hills and the boulevard
her parents threw big parties
everyone was there
they hung out with folks like
dennis hopper, bob seeger, sonny and cher
now, she feels safe
in this bar on fairfax
and from the stage I can tell that
she can't let go and she can't relax
and just before
she hangs her head to cry
I sing to her a lullaby, I sing
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
rockabye
she still lives with her mom
outside the city
down that street about a half a mile
and all her friends tell her
she's so pretty
but she'd be a whole lot prettier
if she smiled once in a while
cause even her smile
looks like a frown
she's seen her share of devils
in this angel town
But, everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
rockabye
I told her I ain't so sure
about this place
it's hard to play a gig in this town
and keep a straight face
seems like everyone here's got a plan
it's kind of like nashville with a tan, but,
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye,rockabye, bye, bye
bye, bye

 

[rooster-red]

:aww

 

[Tailfeathers]

Becky,

First let me tell you that this post comes from a 20-year retired Navy Sailor. I hope you'll still take my most heartfelt support for you and your husband. That said tongue-in-cheek giving you probably are aware of the friendly rivalry between Sailors and Marines! LOL

I could make this quite lengthy but let me tell you that I had a step-son who spent a year in Iraq while simultaneously dealing with a wife who was deathly afraid that something might happen to him. He is now in TX training for what will soon be his second tour in Iraq.

So I hope I've laid the foundation for what I'm about to say. And that is, get yourself surrounded by loving people during this time. Especially since it is your first separation from your husband during this time of service. You need folks around you that can lift you up during this time and realize you too are sacrificing for your country. I know there are many resources that you can draw upon through the military to support you during this time. That is one of the many great changes that has occurred over the past years in the military.

However, I can not encourage you strongly enough to surround yourself with loving folks in a good, Bible-Believing church who can agree with you in prayer for the protection of your husband. We prayed a covering of protection over and around my step-son on a daily basis and I know that it made a difference. He would not hesitate to tell you of things that could not otherwise be explained except for the sovereign, mighty hand of Almighty God intervening on his behalf. By the pure grace of God he came home having experienced some close calls - but that was it.

I could go on but I won't. Please just know that my heart goes out to you and I pray in the name of Jesus that your husband serves his country well, does his duty to his fullest, and comes home safe and sound to you and his new baby!

Please do not hesitate to email me separately if I can ever be of any help to you.

God Bless,

 

[Becky89*]

Thank you!! I just wish there was some way I could hear Josh's voice.

 

[Tailfeathers]

Hi Becky,

Actually there is a way you can hear his voice. Trust me, the military has come a long, long way in the last 20 years. The last aircraft carrier I was on actually had phones that we could call home on. It was EXPENSIVE so we never talked long but at least we got to hear each others voice.

Also, after a couple of deployments I got the idea of buying one of those small tape recorders. I would tape a letter to my wife and kids about once a week and then send it home. Every now and then they would return the favor. I'd also take it with me when we pulled into port and send them a taped letter of what I happened to be experiencing wherever I was. So you might give that a try.

Also, I know the ships have internet now. Who knows? Maybe you could even talk to each other over the internet wherever he happens to be if that's possible.

One word of advice here, just remember that the best thing he can do while he's over there is to keep his head on a swivel and in the game. He needs your support and I don't mean to sound cold or cruel, but you want him focusing on his mission over there when he needs to and not to be distracted by things at home.

I only say this because I speak from experience. I won't go into it all other than to say on one deployment I was on, I wrote my wife every single day and each of my four kids a letter individually once a week. I got about four - maybe six - letters the whole six months and I came home to find many letters I'd written unopened. I can tell you with certainty that was a big distraction and had I had a more dangerous mission or job on the ship, it could've been enough to cause me not to come home. Obviously things were not good at that time with what is now my Ex and I have no doubt that is nothing you would ever do but I mention it just so you can see an example of how things can make a difference.

Write letters to him. Email him if you can. Send him Care Packages - everybody loves those! Encourage him. Let him know you love him and miss him for sure but ALWAYS let him know that y'all are safe, sound, and secure. Short of something very, very serious, the Marines are not going to let him come home. So it will do him no good at all if he is worried about you while over there.

Maybe you've already heard all that in a Dependent Briefing or something but I thought it best to pass that along.

Again, please don't hesitate to call on me - or us - here if you need to. I can tell there's a whole lot of support on here for ya and I'd be happy to do anything for you that I can.

God Bless,

 

[ruth]

Hi Becky - I have been following this thread and I feel for you. I know how hard this must be for you. I wanted to say that Tailfeathers has said everything I was going to say but was hesitant to post. I agree 100% on both issues:

1. Prayer works miracles. My son served a year in Iraq. One scripture I prayed daily: Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon formed against you shall prosper". I prayed it over my son every time we communicated. (He once joked, "Mom I like that scripture so much I had it tattooed on my arm.") My ladies prayer group prayed for him every day - along with my church and many, many other prayers groups. He too tells stories that by the Grace of God he survived. I prayed that he would return alive, well, without so much as a scar or hair on his head damaged and Thanks be to God he did though he was blown up twice, hit with hand grenades, ran over mines, hit with missels that failed to detonate - the list goes on and on of the miraculous protection Our Lord provided. I tell you this not to scare you but to convince you that God can and will protect him - you need to pray and believe.

2. Tailfeathers is also right in that Josh has to have his head in the game. He needs to know you are o.k. Fake it if you have to but when you talk to him tell him you are o.k., the baby is o.k., you will be fine, etc. If you are telling him he has to be at your side or you will lose the baby...that will weigh heavily on his mind and his mind needs to be in his game. I can't tell you how hard it was for me to tell my son I was o.k., fine, etc. but that I did. He didn't need to worry about his mom worrying. Plus I truly had no choice but to trust God and put all of my faith in Him and had to believe my son would be o.k.

Finally - on the communication issue. Here's what we did. Join Yahoo. It's free. They have Yahoo Messenger with Voice. You can talk to Josh anytime he gets a chance to log on. I also had one of those cheap video computer cameras and a headset. Everyone in our entire family, including exes and in-laws and grandparents signed up for an account. I set my p.c. to do a loud and distinquished ring whenever my son signed on, which was often in middle of night our time. I could then run to p.c. sign on and talk to him. We all had an arrangement that if one person saw that he was on they would call everyone else. Within a few minutes everyone would be on talking and chatting at same time. The only time he could not have the voice feature was while in Iraq but he could have the video and the chat. He had his own laptop so he could touch base with us whenever he had a moment but they also had computer/internet areas set up everywhere for the men to use and anyone with a laptop shared.

Again, I feel for you. I'm so sorry you and many others are having to watch loved ones go to Iraq - it's the hardest thing to do.

Be strong, keep the faith, trust in the Lord.

Monique "Ruth"

 

[I*Eat*Chickens*Yum]

Take solace in the fact that your husband is doing a job that represents what America is all about !

Everyday that you miss him remember that while he is away in harms danger he is a "TRUE AMERICAN HERO".

God bless him, his fellow marines and the USA !

 

[tabsmonsters]

Hi, fellow Marine Wife here! I remember going through the same situation. We had more time to prepare, but that has its good and bad.
Have you ever heard of the Key Wife Volunteers? My DH is Active Duty, so I am not sure how the reserve side works. The Key Wife Volunteers ( aka KV's) act as an information source and support for the wives of those Marines deployed. If you have a contact number for someone in your husbands unit, see if the unit has a KV or FRO (Family Readiness Officer) and see if you can find someone in your area that is dealing with the same thing. My KV helped me out so much during that first deployment. Our son was born 1 week before he got back from deployment, so I can definitely sympathize with your situation!
I wouldn't hold your breath that he can get leave to come back for the baby's birth. I would hate to see you get your hopes up. Pretty much the only way that would happen was if something happened to you or the baby. Not trying to be harsh, thats just the way it is. We tried it and I haven't heard of any instances of it happening.
If you don't have friends, I would try to make some. Stay busy, busy, busy!! It makes the time go by faster when you have something to do.
If he is deployed to Iraq, you can send a letter to him that is like email and snail mail. You compose and send it like an email and it gets printed in Iraq and he receives it like snail mail, only faster! We did this while my DH was serving in Iraq and it was pretty cool. I believe you use his mailing address and go to www.motomail.us There should be directions on how to use it. You can send it many times a day so even if he doesnt have internet access often, he can still get letters from you in less time than snail mail.
These websites may be of some help to you:
www.mfr.usmc.mil/hq/mccs/ - Info on KV Program
www.usmc-mccs.org - Lots of Marine Corps Info
www.minimus.biz - this website is awesome for sending care packages! And they offer free shipping for orders over $20. Several of my friends and myself used this during our husbands tour in Iraq and even if he is deployed on a ship. The prices are very reasonable.
I think if you are better prepared, you may feel less frightened. I know it helped me tremendously to be involved in the KV program during one of my DH's deployments. It also helps to know that you aren't alone. It is harder to do this away from a base because you are more isolated from the military, but it can be done.
I am not sure how the medical coverage is for those in the Reserves, but I would make sure you find all that out ( if you haven't already) before the baby comes. The medical program changed during our first deployment from Champus to Tricare and it was very stressful dealing with doctor bills from the delivery for 2 years after the fact! If you have any questions please PM me and I will help you as much as I can. Keep your chin up! You will survive this deployment and be stronger for it, I promise!!
Semper Fi,
Tabby
P.S.
Sorry if I rambled! It's 2 am here and way past my bedtime, but I had to respond.

 

[jenichick]

Prayers for you now for peace and comfort and strength!

I just rejoined the AF Reserves, have 12 years prior, my kids think I lost my mind, they are grown now but worry for me.

There isn't much anyone can say but my best advice is a support group, network, friends, spriritual strength, and it will be temporary.

Take care,

J

 

[Southerngirl]

I am praying for you and your family. I know it is hard right now for you but you are his essence of all that is good and right in the world. Being in the field and able to think of you and his child will keep him motivated to come home. I am proud of any military member willing to serve his country and it is a sacrifice to leave his or her family but inside they know it is a job well done. May God bless you.