Husband just died

[chickengrl]

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I am totally Not saying that people cannot change, the OP has gone through a great deal and when it comes to choosing someone to spend time with I think being a bit careful is not a bad thing. This is a very vulnerable time when a person is working through the grieving process. It can be really easy to fall for the first person that offers some comfort from the pain. This guy has some red flags that should not be ignored. That's all I am trying to say. Everyone makes mistakes, most of us don't end up on the wrong side of the law because of them though. In the end, life is pretty dang hard sometimes and we are all just trying to muddle through it the best we can.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Again,

It's my own choice to keep this guy at arm's length and not just because of the distance between us. I don't see any harm in occasionally talking to him on the phone and seeing him at competitions ... with lots of people around. He reminds me a bit of a college friend of mine. College friend, not boyfriend. He was a great guy, a hoot to hang out with, but not someone I wanted to spend my life with. And this Arabian trainer guy with the court records reminds me a lot of him.

I spent some time today with the religious guy I've been seeing. Again, we seemed to have made peace. I did mention to him that someone else expressed interest in me and he said because of losing my husband and since he [the religious guy] and I began seeing each other fairly soon, he said he would not be offended if I went on an occasional date with someone else, especially since he's working 2 jobs and he knows we don't see each other as often as we'd like.

We'll see, one day at a time.

 

[debilorrah]

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Everyone has the ability to recognize their mistakes and make changes in their lives. You may wind up with a really good friend.

 

[michickenwrangler]

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Everyone has the ability to recognize their mistakes and make changes in their lives. You may wind up with a really good friend.

He honestly is a very good man, although he is a bit shy and admitted he gets nervous around women, which, as I mentioned earlier, I find it endearing since most men I've been with before have been utterly confident of their attractiveness to women. Though we're taking it slow, there is some good physical chemistry there

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Everyone has the ability to recognize their mistakes and make changes in their lives. You may wind up with a really good friend.

He honestly is a very good man, although he is a bit shy and admitted he gets nervous around women, which, as I mentioned earlier, I find it endearing since most men I've been with before have been utterly confident of their attractiveness to women. Though we're taking it slow, there is some good physical chemistry there

It's nice you are seeing the person and not the past. At my age, everyone has skeltons in the closet and we would be doomed if everyone judged us from our past.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Quote:
He honestly is a very good man, although he is a bit shy and admitted he gets nervous around women, which, as I mentioned earlier, I find it endearing since most men I've been with before have been utterly confident of their attractiveness to women. Though we're taking it slow, there is some good physical chemistry there

It's nice you are seeing the person and not the past. At my age, everyone has skeltons in the closet and we would be doomed if everyone judged us from our past.

Just so that we're on the same page, I'm talking about the nice religious guy, not the one I just met with the criminal record.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
It's nice you are seeing the person and not the past. At my age, everyone has skeltons in the closet and we would be doomed if everyone judged us from our past.

Just so that we're on the same page, I'm talking about the nice religious guy, not the one I just met with the criminal record.

OOPS! LOL! Oh well, you seem like a decent woman and I am confident you can make good choices with your life. Either guy!!!!

 

[babylady4]

So this guy in WI has a court record; I would not say he has a criminal record. It sounds like he has committed felonies when you say that......

Thank you Hiker, Rebel and Debi for sying what I wanted to say. I cannot believe how people can be so narrow minded and judgemental.

This OWI COULD have happened right after the limits were dropped from 0.1 to 0.08....... and that could be anybody after just one drink if you jump into the car too soon. I am not defending this guy (I do not even know him) but it is not the people who have 1 OWI who are an issue, it is the person with 3,4,5-9 etc.....


BTW I looked up Deb Raymond here in WI on the court site...... have you ever been here Debi????? There are 15 cases against a Debra Raymond....... all the way back to 1983!

It is 4 different Debras though.....

Sorry OP for the hijack..... return to discussion.

 

[debilorrah]

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Nope not me. I cleaned up in 1981. Go back further here in CA and you will find me

What can I say, I was a teen of the 70's.

ETA: I am Deborah, not Debra. Google me. Debi Raymond brings up all my work stuff (public transit) and Deborah Raymond brings up a has been movie producer.

 

[redhen]

Tis true...
I, myself, could have had a couple of OWI's in my younger days.... Just never got caught... (well i DID..but i knew the cop and he just brought me home. WHEW!)
THAT right there WAS my wake up call... i thought of how screwed my life could have been... never did it again..never.
So yeah... we ALL make mistakes when we're young...
Buuut this guy had a few other minor things pop up too.... soo.... its IS wise to move very slow because she has a daughter.
He could be a great guy... who knows! One day at a time..